Slimming World Update – Week 91/92

Hi there

How’s your week been? Or should I say weeks? Yeah sorry about that. Symptomatic of the wider issue I feel. That’ll make sense in a minute.

Anyway, last night’s weigh in was a gain, same as the week before. Well, you know, that’s what you get from eating home made biscuits and cheesecake and banana bread and ice cream and crumble (Crimble Crumble for your FND fans!) and drinking wine and beer. It’s not rocket science guys. I didn’t gorge. I just ate. Ate things I wanted to and had missed. Ate and drank socially and in good company. Ate because my will not too has left the building.

Because you see I just don’t care as much as I used to. But then I’m dealing with stuff every day I didn’t used to. My meals are all healthy and planned and delicious, but what comes in between is not. The first few days of every week (after weigh in) are positive and thoughtful, but then something happens or something slips and the rest of the week falls into the abyss too. I’ve heard about people talk about this feeling but until fairly recently this wasn’t me. I could live my life the way I wanted and still lose weight. But something’s changed. People tell me all the time how well I’ve done and I don’t know if that’s wonderful or awful. On one had it’s lovely reminder to give myself a little pat on the back, but on the other hand it makes me feel dreadful because I know I haven’t come as far as I set out to. I want to feel that high of getting off the scales with a well earned loss, I do. I just don’t want it enough at the moment.

And there in lies the problem.

I still weigh more than most people who join ever will. But I can wear clothes I never dreamed of and look better than I ever thought I would. I’m not saying I’m giving up and going back to how life used to be (seriously I’m not OK!) I’m just kind of happy bimbling along here for a bit. And that’s why last night, after a fantastic discussion with my consultant and my group, I’ve decided to reset my target to 6 stone loss and maintain for a bit. Slimming World allow you to reset your target to anything you feel comfortable with at any time in your journey and I just think I’m not nearly focussed enough to push myself forward at the moment. But staying here? That I can do.

I don’t want you to think me a failure. I honestly never considered this an option before (trying to maintain), but once we talked about it, it just felt right. For me. For now. I’ve come to dread every weigh in, mostly because I know I have to write about it. I know it’s only pressure I’m heaping on myself, no one else is making me feel this way, but removing that pressure from a life that has plenty of other stuff going on (new, uncharted, scary, sad stuff) seems not a bad thing to do right now.

As my plan is to stay at target for a while, these posts could get awful boring. So I’ve decided to give the updates a rest. I still write plenty of other stuff you can read, should you feel inclined, but unless I have something positive and interesting to say I wont be writing the weekly updates for a while. I hope you can understand.

So long and thanks for all the fish

xxxx

 

Comments

  1. Lisa, I think this is a wonderful idea. I think taking a step back can actually be beneficial, especially if you have other things to deal with. Even more so if you’re pretty happy where you’re at. Who knows, maybe once you’ve taken the pressure off, you’ll feel more inclined to follow the plan (that happened to somebody in my old group who did something similar – she ended up dropping below her new target weight and had to reset it again). For what it’s worth, you really have done amazingly well and your success was something that inspired me to come back to SW in December after taking a few months off. Maybe you haven’t gotten to where you’d originally planned, but it’s still definitely a success. x

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much Shannon. It’s wonderful to hear I’ve inspired people to make changes in their lives, although I do feel a tiny bit like I’m letting those people down now! I just need to get to a place where I don’t dread the grind of the write up anymore. It used to be a force for good, helping me manage my thoughts and behaviours. Now it mainly feels like a lie I’m writing for someone else’s benefit. Not why I started. To much negative pressure is good for no one and I’m glad I’ve taken this choice. It feels empowering! I hope your weigh in goes well this week. I do love hearing how people are doing and thanks for to Diet Coke Chicken inspiration xxx

  2. Good luck to you – Very sensible to not beat yourself up and aim for reasonable for you. Look after your well being and the rest will follow x

  3. To be honest I think it goes to show how in tune you are with yourself. You are recognising what you need both mentally and physically and that is something to be proud of. Definitely don’t beat yourself up about this or feel like you are letting anyone down. Most people can only dream of knowing themselves so well.

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you my lovely. I never thought about it like that. I don’t consider myself to be particularly zen or anything, but writing this blog for nearly two years has definitely put me in touch with the deeper side of me! I loved your bucket list btw! Good plan!

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