Proud

We recently realised we don’t really take Oscar to many places. It’s not that we consciously avoid taking him out, but I think him being at preschool most of the week and me not driving has meant we’ve fallen into a bit of a rut of keeping everything to what we know. Park, town, shops, farmers market, Cecily’s house. It’s not a vast list is it? Maybe we have been avoiding taking him out. And that’s not fair. Because actually I think we’re more frightened of what might happen than anything that actually has happened. And what’s the point in being afeared of the thought of something?

Anyway last week Ben had the week off work. It was during term time, so Oscar was still going to preschool in the mornings, but buoyed by the support of another adult and access to a car gave me the courage to suggest we try some new stuff. And I’m so, so glad I did.

Last Tuesday saw us meet with the Educational Psychologist who is going to be assessing what kind of support Oscar will need when going to big school next year. We haven’t had the report yet, but as much in our lives, I was more worried about what the meeting would be than what it actually was. To celebrate the fact that it was done and that particular ball was rolling, we decided to try taking Oscar out for lunch straight from nursery. This was a pretty big deal. We used to eat out quite a bit but haven’t since he became too big for being strapped into the highchair. We went to ASK in Haslemere, a restaurant he always loved in the past. Much as with everything at the moment, we went expecting the best, but totally prepared for the worst.

And he surprised us all.

This. Exactly this.

This. Exactly this.

 

Sitting. And eating.

Sitting. And eating!

 

Lying down is the way ahead

Lying down is the way ahead. As is holding hands with daddy.

Don’t get me wrong, we were on the edge of our seats the whole time we were there, but boy oh boy did he do bloody brilliantly.

So following this success, we decided to do something we’ve fancied for ages. On Wednesday afternoon we went to Winchester Science Centre (previously INTEC). Its a 45 minute drive from our house and of course he fell asleep in the car. Balls I thought, well this isn’t going to work now is it? Turns out I should shut up and stop making assumptions. We woke him up and carried him in, a little bit dopey but not once did he get upset. And when he saw just how much stuff there was to touch. Well, that was it, he was off. He went from one thing to the next to the next, pulling levers and pushing buttons. It didn’t matter to him that he hadn’t a clue what any of it was about. He could play with it and that was enough. And we just tried to keep up.

Oscar at the controls!

Oscar at the controls! Gawd save us 😉 !

We were there for an hour and a half. And he didn’t stop. But when it came to leave, we told him what was going on and he came with us. No arguments, no melt downs. And he walked, holding my hand, all the way to the car and climbed in. It. Was. AWESOME!

My champ!

My champ!

But the best part of the day for me was that he came running up to us three times in that hour and half and said to us “happy”. Oscar’s language gets better and better as the weeks and months go by and he can tell us when he’s “sad”, but rarely does he verbally express joy. It was worth going just for that.

I know I need to be braver. My instinct is still to avoid busy times (such as the holidays), but I need to face up to the fact that sometimes it’s going to work and sometimes it won’t and be comfortable with that. I’m doing him a disservice by keeping him from trying things just because I assume he won’t enjoy it. So this week (and while I’ve had the back up of a visiting friends), we’ve been doing just that. Being brave. And he’s getting better and better at waiting, holding hands, sitting and eating.

Of course I say ‘better’. Maybe he’s been able to do it for ages? And that makes me feel a little bit bad. But really that’s outweighed by how awesome I feel looking at these pictures. You might get excited by trying new and exciting days out and activities. For me, my heart leaps when he can sit. Autism will do that to you.

Sitting in Dylans, eating an enire ice cream and COLOURING! His artwork is now hanging up with the other childrens :)

Sitting in Dylan’s, eating an entire ice cream and COLOURING! His artwork is now hanging up with the other childrens 🙂

 

A trip to Sainsburys. BLew. My. Mind. Waiting, holding hands, eating cool calm and collected. Phew!

A trip to Sainsbury’s. Blew. My. Mind. Waiting, holding hands, eating. Cool, calm and collected. What a guy!

I know not every outing will end so successfully. I’m not niave. But these did. And I want to shout it from the rooftops.

I’m so, so proud.

 

Diary of an imperfect mum

Comments

  1. Aww! It sounds like you have been having a lovely time! Well done Oscar! You have every reason to be proud x

  2. I was the same way with my son when he was that age but as soon as I started taking him places and realized that he was enjoying himself and nothing bad was going to happen, I slowly started to relax a little bit. It’s always a relief when it works out better than our expectations. My experience also taught me to believe in my boy a little more. Good for you for taking that brave step! Hope you have many more!

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thanks my lovely. I really does take a leap of faith every time we go out, but thats my issue, not his!

      • You’ll get there! It takes time and patience with yourself and know that you’re not alone. Be used myself I know many parents who had the same fears especially in the beginning. I hope you and your little one have a Happy Halloween!

  3. Fantastic! The world opens up so much when you try new things. We are still working on this sort of thing and my ASD son is now 8. It’s a brilliant feeling when you have days like those though. Well done Oscar. 🙂

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much Laura. It’s not easy is it and the one or two bad experiences make it so hard to expect anything better. I’m glad I’m not the only one!

  4. diaryofuem says:

    Woohoo, well done Oscar! I think you’re right about the not driving thing, Oliver hardly gets to go anywhere because of me not driving. I do always dread lunch out though, I think I probably just need to be better prepared though instead of just assuming it will be awful lol. Kids eh? Sent to test us!
    Just think of the money we have saved though from only eating lunch at home! Haha. Silver linings

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thanks hon. Lots of parents have said the same to me. Either they don’t drive or their parents didn’t drive and so they didn’t/don’t go many places. More than I thought. I don’t know sometimes I just assume he’s missing out because I don’t drive, but it seems it’s more the norm than I thought. Plus I never thought about the money hahaha brilliant point! Xxx

  5. ourlittleescapades says:

    This is fantastic, I’m so glad you are pushing yourselves and trying new things with Oscar. We have taken Ethan to places since he was 18 months old. Is it easy, no, do we have to plan everything, yes. Is it worth it, totally. I must admit it was only last July that we started to try to eat out again as we had grown out of the high chair. I’m sure I blogged about it. We go with the rule try anything as we might be surprised and if it all goes wrong we just leave. Enjoy your new discoveries together.

    Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)
    x

  6. I loved this post Lisa. So positive!!! Your boy is making fantastic progress. Thanks so much for linking up with #FamilyFun

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you. It’s crazy to look back and this. It wasn’t that long ago and yet his language is so much better already and he’s getting more and more able to cope (holding hands, not running away, listening to instructions) when we’re out. Keeping a record like this is so helpful I think! Thanks for hosting!

Speak Your Mind

*