• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

mrssavageangel

First time mother just trying to figure out where to go from here.

Money, money, money…

02/09/2013 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

timthumb

So we had a baby back in 2012 (Oscar, he’s 17 months and awesome!). We’d be married nearly 4 years and together for nearly 14 and he was totally planned. But what I didn’t plan for, rather naively, was the financial impact this baby would have on our lives. I’m not talking about the cost of nappies or putting him through University (although holy crap how do we do that!??!). I’m talking about something much more fundamental and that was my capacity to earn.

I absolutely expected to go back to work. I didn’t loooooove my job, but I liked it enough, it was in a sector I wanted to be in and I was doing OK (having been promoted twice in a year). I fully expected to go back once my year of maternity leave was finished. The organisation had a generous maternity package and I saved enough to cover me through the three months at the end of my leave which would be unpaid. I was OK.

However when we started to look into childcare in the local area I was horrified to find out just how expensive it was. I wasn’t on great money (slightly under the national average), but it wasn’t bad. However all of this would be swallowed by childcare fees. When I added to that travelling costs and taxes I found that, even if I went back full-time, I would be paying out more than I earnt per month, without even contributing to the household costs in any way. I was horrified.

We looked at the numbers and realised we could afford for me not to work, but we couldn’t afford for me to continue working in my current role. I knew I should feel grateful. So many people said they wished they were in my position (at least to my face). But for me the thought of giving up any form of financial independence left me feeling slightly nauseous! I just didn’t see it coming and with all the fuss this government makes about “getting people back into work”, how could this even be the case? I was and still am baffled!

So these were the circumstances I found myself in and the circumstances that I have now had to accept. Don’t get me wrong I have days when I absolutely love not having to leave Oscar and days where I feel I’m doing a real bang up job. But there are also days I feel completely isolated and guilty and lacking in any kind of control. I have had my own source of income, one way or another since I was 13 years old. Moving away from that and living a very different life has been harder than I ever anticipated.

But people to do it all the time, some for many years. They seem happy enough. Are they? Maybe I should ask them how they do it and whether they ever felt the same kind of shame I do not contributing and if not how come? Seriously. I’d love to know how to live this life, without feeling guilty all the time.

Or as I said in another post, maybe I just need to look harder for another job. One that pays enough to make it worthwhile, even if it’s only just worthwhile.

I’m not running down what I’m doing. I’m proud of the care I’m able to give my son. A friend said to me the other day “you’re very brave to do this, I don’t think I could do it!”. I don’t feel particularly brave, but it was nice of her to say. I just have to figure out how to move forward in a way that’s best for all of us. And I guess that’s really the biggest change I’ve had to make.

Filed Under: Children, Family Tagged With: childcare, Family, money, stay at home, work

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Follow Me

  • Facebook

Recent Posts

  • North Hayne Farm Cottages – our experiences as an SEND Family
  • One gift – an update…..
  • One gift….
  • Key Stage 2 and the Autism Mama
  • Amsterdam, the perfect city break with children

Instagram

Totally petitioning to move Bonfire night to June. Totally petitioning to move Bonfire night to June. It’s not so dark you lose your family, it’s way warmer and the sky just looks more dramatic. Much more fun all round.
Jubilee Beacon Fireworks. Jubilee Beacon Fireworks.
What an amazing day! The little sister who came in What an amazing day! The little sister who came into our lives when she was a sweet little ten year old, is now a beautiful, strong wife and mother. We couldn’t have been any prouder to share her day with her. Oh yeah and James was there too 😜 Only kidding we love you guys so much! #family #wedding
All the chocolate, all the good food. Happy Easter All the chocolate, all the good food. Happy Easter, Passover or Ramadan. Hope you’re spending today with your people. 💐🐰🌱 #spring #celebrate
New favourite cousin photo! #thuglife #jessandosca New favourite cousin photo! #thuglife #jessandoscar
Oscar’s party was a roaring success. The cousins Oscar’s party was a roaring success. The cousins all came and played together like they were best of friends, the Minecraft themed food was devoured, the castle was bounced to within an inch of its life, the grown ups chatted and most of all the boy had the best day! And now I’m so exhausted I’m off to bed. Thank you to the family (and chosen family) who helped make it such a special day for our special little guy. #whenoscarturnedten #happybirthday #familypartiesarethebest
Ten years old. Where has that decade gone? He’s Ten years old. Where has that decade gone? He’s ten years old. I’m ten years older. Sometimes it feels like we’re growing up together! Happy birthday beautiful boy. And Happy Birthing Day to me. 🥰
It’s that time of year again when I lay all his It’s that time of year again when I lay all his presents out and say I’m ready for him to be another year older and then quip that I am NEVER ready for him to be another year older. But 10 man? I don’t know, it feels so… significant. Double digits, a decade, it somehow feels different from all the other birthdays. I can’t quite believe it tbh. Anyway as he’s having his birthday here (tomorrow) but his party in Plymouth next Saturday it has been decreed it’s his birthday all week. And what with the grand age he’s turning, I think that sounds perfectly appropriate.
Breakfast in bed (toast and a makeshift cloche - w Breakfast in bed (toast and a makeshift cloche - we fancy!) and three cards and a sunflower he planted from seed at school 😱! Now off out for lunch. Very much a Happy Mothers Day to me! And to all the mamas I know. May you be treated like Kweens today!
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Archives

Categories

Copyright © 2023 · Lifestyle Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in