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mrssavageangel

First time mother just trying to figure out where to go from here.

My New Tattoo

29/08/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

In my late teens I decided I want to rebel. In the mildest manner possible. I was never one for starting a revolution, but I wanted to do the things my parents didn’t want me to do. So I took up smoking, drank heavily on a Friday night, got the top of my ear pierced (I wanted to get my nose done to really piss my dad off but I chickened out!), I occasionally inhaled (ahem!) and I got a tattoo. A tiny star at the top of my arm. The star was taken from the front of a friend’s wallet. I walked into a tattoo shop on Union Street, Plymouth, told them want I wanted and got it done there and then. It cost me a fiver. It wasn’t anything special to anyone else, but to me it ticked a box and actually I really loved it. It’s not the neatest work I’ve ever seen, but do you know, I had it done with all my heart and therefore I’ve never wanted to change it. I also didn’t want another one. It served it’s purpose, I’d been there, done that, so to speak.

Although actually that’s a bit of a lie. I have always thought about having another one. I saw other people’s and admired their creativity and courage. But I was looking for something small, nothing fancy. No names, no frills and flounces. Something that meant something, but nothing too painful. I couldn’t find anything that ticked all those boxes, and I was in no rush, so I let the idea go.

Then I had a baby and pain took on a new level of meaning. Pah! I’ve had my entire abdomen cut in two and a person removed. I got over that! What’s a tattoo compared to getting off the bed after a C-section? But I still couldn’t find anything I liked. I played with the idea of having something designed. Something with more stars (I love stars), possibly intertwined stars? Three intertwined stars to represent me, Ben and Oscar? Hmmm. Maybe. But it did get me thinking about the concept of family. My family. And that got me thinking about who I was now, what that meant and about my place in the scheme of things.

And then I realised, that no matter what happens in life, it will never be just me, ever again. Even if my family were to leave me, in any way, I will never just be me again, because I have given birth.

I will always be, regardless of what happens, Me and …….

And that’s when I realised what I had to have.

Me & .....
Me & …..

 

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Filed Under: Family, Personal Tagged With: Ampersand, And, art, Birth, child, children, Family, Ink, mama, Me and Him, mom, mommy, Motherhood, mum, mummy, symbolism, Tattoo

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mrssavageangel

Instagram post 2196830559095191914_463737161 2018 to 2019. The improvement in his writing is unbelievable, especially as most of that has taken place in the last four months! #stilllovestomytrains #thatsmyboy
Instagram post 2196774451085175474_463737161 I’d love to have classical warm white lights draped elegantly over the outside of the house and in the front garden. But we don’t have a front garden and the house doesn’t lend itself to outside lights. Or elegance. So I have these chunky babes instead. And I fecking love them! #muchmoreme #brightlights #retrolights #savageschristmas2019
Instagram post 2195894391457349261_463737161 Loving my festive nails from @matron_moo @mooeys #Haslemere. Multicoloured glitter on a black base coat. It’s my festive aesthetic! #nails #sparkles #shine #glitter
Instagram post 2195841823456851822_463737161 It’s here!! #christmasradiotimes #wheresmyhighlighter
Instagram post 2195369590871496883_463737161 Exciting times! Tickets booked for @pheberoxane and me to see @theguiltyfeminist live in Guildford in May! Woop woop! #glive #2020 #guiltyfeminist
Instagram post 2194237915231768656_463737161 The Savage Tree 2019. And she’s a beaut! @wyldsfarmchristmastrees #tree #christmastree #teamwork #savageschristmas2019
Instagram post 2194208815637277712_463737161 Trip to @wyldsfarmchristmastrees. Not show; the tree 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 #savageschristmas2019 #liss #christmastree #mulledapplejuice
Instagram post 2193714977638277472_463737161 For the past few years I’ve made my own Christmas wreath at @wyldsfarmchristmastrees with @lauracartridge but this year I just didn’t get round to it. So I bought one of her ready made ones instead. And it’s a stunner! #wreath #itsbeginningtolookalotlikechristmas #tree #spruce #christmastraditions #savageschristmas2019
Instagram post 2193088701076402838_463737161 Issss meeeeeeee!!! #Repost @veronicadearly
・・・
Another self portrait for day 6 of #veronicadearlyadvent Working from home means people (mainly my mum) assuming I have no purpose in life. When I have a clear purpose in life which is drawing pictures of myself as a Christmas tree 🎄🤷‍♀️😂
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