It’s true. It’s 18th December and I haven’t written a single Christmassy post this year. Compare that to last year, when I couldn’t get enough. Ahh well. It’s not that I’m not feeling the festive spirit, I am, just in a different way and with so much else going on, it’s felt disingenuous to write light hearted pieces when I don’t really feel light of heart.
But preschool term is now over. The paperwork for his EHCP is being processed and we wont find out until the beginning of January as to whether he gets one. Schools are closed and I can’t visit any more. So I’ve decided to try and put all that down for the holidays. Worrying and even thinking about it wont change anything. It’s time to lay those weights down for a few weeks and just enjoy my family.
So what are our Christmas plans? Well, actually it’s the one thing that’s kept me going these past few months, I am so excited about it. Last year we stayed home and went out for Christmas dinner (as we’ve done several times before). It wasn’t exactly a disaster, but the wait for the food was interminably long. Oscar coped (just), but it took everything we had in us to get him through and I realised, even then, that I would need more control over the situation this year. We don’t have the space to host Christmas at home, so it was clear we would need to go somewhere else. But asking family or friends to host and then asking them to do everything your child needs to make it through the season, well it was a big ask. Too big an ask in my eyes. So back in the summer we decided to hire somewhere, make a holiday of it. And if we were going to do that, then why not do it where all our family are.
Which is how we came to find an apartment in the Royal William Yard in Plymouth, Devon. It’s a relatively newly refurbished Victorian military barracks and we’ve hired a three bedroom apartment for the entire Christmas week. I’m so excited. It not only gives me a place to cook and serve Christmas dinner to my family (something I’ve not done properly in five years!), it also means my mum can stay with us on Christmas Eve and see Oscar opening his presents (something she’s never done), we can see all our family and friends over the course of a week (instead of trying to whiz round and see everyone in a couple of days which we usually do when we visit) and be included in traditional family shindigs. But the best thing about it is I can give Oscar the time and space to decompress, as and when he needs it. Staying with other people can be a wonderful experience, but it puts an awful lot of pressure on everyone. And this way if my son just wants to watch Thomas in his pyjamas and not go out, or we need to leave somewhere he’s been over stimulated, we can.
I’m not saying it’s the perfect solution to what can be a stressful time for everyone. I’ve been mentally planning what I might need to take with me to be able to cook a full Christmas dinner in a strange, and not necessarily well equipped, kitchen (this is after all a holiday let) for weeks. But I think it’s a damn near close as I can get it. And anyway, my sister in law text me the other day to tell that that although they’re away on Christmas day, she’s giving a key to Ben’s mum and should I need any utensils or such from her well equipped kitchen, then to just take them. I could have kissed her. Had she not been 300 miles away!
But that’s exactly what I’m hoping this Christmas will be all about. Family. Oscar is a part of a family he barely knows and I want that to change. I want him to spend time playing with his cousins, who when he does see he adores. I want him to spend time getting to know his Aunties and Uncles (Uncle Paul, I hope you know we have a child as active as you ever were!). I want him to feel the love his grandparents have for him. Everyone has been so supportive of him and everything about him that makes him Oscar. To them he’s just one of the clan.
So we’re off on 23rd. And I can’t wait. I’ve made a book of laminated pictures of the flat and all our family for Oscar to look at. The food shopping has been done online. The presents have all been bought and wrapped. We’ve got the artificial tree to take with us. The flat has wifi. What more could we need? As with everything we’re expecting the best and preparing for the worst. Oh, and Ben and I are taking full advantage of having my mum with us on Christmas Eve and leaving her to babysit while we go for dinner at The River Cottage.
Weeeeell, it’s not all about the family 😉