My baby starts school in September – what am I going to do?

My baby boy is no longer a baby. He’s a strapping 3ft, four year old. And he starts full time school in September. Sigh. And if that wasn’t hard enough, for the past few months I’ve been fending off varying versions of the following questions:

What are you going to do when he starts school?

So are you going back to work inย September?

Just think of all that free time. What will you do?

People mean well I’m sure, but it’s starting to get tiresome. For a start no, no I’m not going ‘back’ to work. Primarily because I have no work to go back to. I have no career to pick up. I fell into every job I ever had. Some jobs I ended up loving, some I hated, but most I just felt ambivalent about. Also looking ‘back’ doesn’t feel a very positive thing to do. Moving forward is where it’s at surely? So no, I won’t be going ‘back’, to anything.

I have some ideas of what I might do when he’s in school full time. And I’m hoping that won’t be too long coming. But nothing is certain with Oscar. I have no idea how he’s going to react, to settle. His Autism makes life supremely unpredictable at the best of times, so who knows how he’ll react to something as monumental as starting school. My guess is that all my energy, at least for the first term, is going to be spent on transitioning him and supporting him with what ever he needs to get the best out of his school career.

But people are right, eventually he will (fingers crossed) be settled and my day time will be less constricted by him. So what could I do? What do other SAHMs of school age children do round our way?

The gym

I look around me and for those who don’t go out to work (or who work part time) in my town it would seem the place to be is the gym. Or at least I assume it is. The amount of mamas rocking the kind of gym wear I wouldn’t even wear in the gym let alone on the streets tells me that my fellow SAHMama with school age children spend at least some of their time working out. It’s definitely an option I guess. We have a local leisure centre. Maybe I would find a new tribe to hang out with there?

Have another baby

Another option seems to have a baby. So many of Oscar’s preschool chums who are starting school in September have pregnant mothers or new siblings. I mean it’s a pretty drastic way to amuse yourself while your older child is at school (๐Ÿ˜œ) but it’s not for me. Done at one, that’s me, so no new baby for me.

Drink coffee

OK, so I spend most of my mornings in the various coffee shops of Haslemere, so I can’t really talk, but hey I’m alone, working. I see the mamas, often without children getting to enjoy a cuppa or two. I could quite happily keep doing that! Only problem with that is that I have no one to drink coffee with. All my friends work, or are in the gym, or popping out babies (see above). I wrote a post in 2013 about how hard it was to make friends when you’re an adult and you don’t work. But I thought I’d done it. Got over the embarrassment and let my little one break the ice for me. Only here I am, three years down the line and seriously having to consider how to find new friends. Again. Without the help of a cute little blue eyed bundle!

157143710

OK, so these are definitely some of the options I see around, but what about options that are a bit more specific to me? Cos I can’t see me joining the spandex wearing, latte drinking, baby machines just yet ๐Ÿ˜‰

Blogging

Of course. I mean I’ve managed to do three years so far, all in either nap time or two hour nursery slots, soย imagine how much better it could be with more time. I could actually have a schedule and plan posts. I know right!! Also I’ve had to turn down all sorts of blogging opportunities as I’ve had no one to look after Oscar. I’m really hoping I can start accepting more opportunities and growing what I can offer. And who knows, actually start to make some money! Shock horror!

13603429_10154845621420616_7618601868818047908_o
Decorating

There are various rooms in the house that need attention, particularly the bathroom (and the kitchen is a whole other post!) But if I’m going to make a go of my blog then the thing I really need is an office. We have no spare room, or even a spare nook in our house, however we do have a large shed sort of thing at the bottom of the garden (we rather grandly call it the Summer House!) that, cleaned out and tarted up, could make a lovely office/writing space. We’d need to get electricity down there and some form of WiFi or network, but it’s definitely something to think about and could be a great project!

Learn to Drive

As I’ve mentioned before I am taking driving lessons at the moment. Well I was. It’s on hiatus at the moment, partly due to finances, partly due to not really gelling with my instructor. But the plan is totally to keep going and when Oscar is at school it’ll be easier to arrange my lessons and not have to race (not literally) back for him.

img_0515

Volunteer

There are all sorts of organisations round here that need assistanceย and as someone who worked in Volunteer Recruitment and Support back in the old days, maybe I should jump to the other side of the fence and practice what I preached all those years ago.ย It’s widely acknowledgedย that volunteering is not only great for the community but also for the volunteers themselves, with studies showing altruism leading to the ‘helper’s high’.ย And who doesn’t want to help their community and feel good about it while they do?

Get a job

Of course there is always the option to get a part time job, probably locally due to drop off and pick up times. I’m not happy to put Oscar into childcare either end of the school day (even at school) yet, and to be honest I have no idea if any one would even be able to take him! So a job would need to fit 100% around him and that’s asking a lot. And makes me think I should try harder with this writing malarkey!

23686650433_b4fceaf342_z

Yes, there are plenty of options for things I could be doing when Oscar starts school. For one we’ve decided to stop having a cleaner so I’m going to have to start cleaning the bathroom again at some stage (boohoo). But to be honest, right now, I want to enjoy my time with him. In a few months he’ll be uniformed up and off into the big world, forging his own unique path, whatever that may be.

So stop asking me what I’m going to be doing in the future. I just want to concentrate on what we’re doing today.

Comments

  1. Laughing at this as having my youngest starting school in September , am being bombarded with similar questions! Only today my eldest’s teacher was suggesting I volunteer in her class. I think what I might do is just learn to be me again and see what comes up. I do have a confession though I did join that gym that all those mums in our town go to! It’s not so bad but I am the untrendy one who literally goes in and out and definitely no time for coffee drinking . ๐Ÿ˜œ

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Learning to be you again – now that is a novel idea! Never thought of that! I just don’t know about the gym – the gym gear bunch scare the bejaysus out of me ๐Ÿ˜‰ Whatever happens I’m sure I wont be idle that’s for sure!

  2. The Tale of Mummyhood says:

    Wow. Where to start! You have so many options, but it’s difficult to know what to do first I bet! I think I’d start with the coffee and go from there! Great post, I hope you manage to find your direction ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Ah I feel you, it’s hard to know where to start with it all. I took a break from my freelance job to have a baby and I’m not sure what I’m going to do either. Part of me wants to go back but I know the hours will be long and I won’t get to be with the family at all. Hope you find a decision that works for you #ablogginggoodtime

    • mrssavageangel says:

      It’s hard isn’t it. Before children you are so sure nothing will change, when in reality EVERYTHING changes. Ahh well. I’m sure I’ll find something to do. I might take the first month off between 9-3 and just hide in bed ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  4. Don’t have another baby ๐Ÿ˜‰ That’s rarely the answer! Ha. I hope the transition goes well for your family in September and you find some lovely new hobbies as well as your existing ones. I’ll be with you in a year but I DO have a second child so have kissed goodbye to all leisure time for the forseeable ๐Ÿ˜‰ #picknmix

  5. Must be a strange feeling to have a few hours of free time back each day soon! I’m sure you’ll find 100 things that will magically fill up your days once it starts – hopefully the blogging expansion will be one of them because you write some great stuff! #effitfriday

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much James. I’d like to write more but like you say I’m sure 100 things will take up my time once it starts!

  6. Becky, Cuddle Fairy says:

    You are so right – concentrate on what you are doing today. The future will work itself out. There’s no point getting a job for a few hours a day or having to pay childcare. I like your blogging & coffee plans best!! #effitfriday

  7. A great post. I liked your comment about the language of going ‘back’ to work.

    Your photo of an empty office made me feel strangely sad.

    #effitfriday

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Me too actually. Sad because it reminds me that used to be my life and that’s not a life I want to go back to!

  8. My eldest daughter starts school in September and people naturally assume I’m going back to work, because I will only have child care costs for Holly now. But, that isn’t the reason I don’t work, it’s to spend time and be with my girls. I think coffee and blogging is the way forward X #picknmix

  9. I loved your comment about looking forward not back, spot on! I really wish people would keep their opinions to themselves sometimes!!! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ๐ŸŽ‰

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Yup! Everyone wants to see you doing something other than what you’re doing. I never really got that. Thanks for hosting honey xx

  10. My youngest starts school in August and I’m a bit devastated at the prospect! I’m starting college to get my Childhood Practice qualification but all I really want to do is go back in time a few years, haha.

    You’ve listed a lot of good options, hope you find your own new routine and time for yourself come September! ๐Ÿ™‚ Loved your post!

    #ablogginggoodtime

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much. Ooo I forgot qualifications, hmm it’s another option! What is Childhood Practice for?

  11. My son is just finishing reception and he too has autism. He’s done amazingly, actually behaves much better at school than he does at home! Good luck to your little boy, I hope he settles ok x #picknmix

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much Emma, it’s so great to hear about other children doing so well. It gives me hope. Have a wonderful summer xxx

  12. Move to Cornwall, I’m in need of more friends too ๐Ÿ˜‰ All joking aside though I know what you mean about being hard to make friends, in the online world I have a lot of fab friends, in real life I have one person I can rely on and who I would call a great friend and a few acquaintances who I chat to when I see them. If it wasn’t for the fact that my blog keeps me so busy I expect I would be pretty lonely to be honest ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Whatever works for you is what you should do when he starts school lovely don;t feel pressurised at all. Thanks for linking up.

    Stevie x #PicknMix

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Oh honey – if I could I would. Just watched a programme about a couple doing a house up over looking Fistral Bay! It’s funny isn’t it how lonely motherhood can actually be? Sending massive hugs my pasty munching friend and thanks for hosting!

  13. Oh bless you – if anyone else asks tell them t bog off and mind their own business lol. Just because he starts in September does not mean a decision has to be made by then, Go with the flow and see where things take you.

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  14. organisedjo says:

    That’s a long list to work through, but I hope you find something that you want to do and fits with you and your son. #PickNMix

  15. Exciting times ahead and I really believe the little ones need parent’s time more when they start school, than when toddlers/preschoolers.
    Having Oscar at school will take up a lot of your time so you owe no-one an explanation of how you will use your time.
    I think it is great for Oscar that you will be on hand for him at any point he needs it, especially if he might have extra challenges to face. Xx
    If I didn’t work everyday (booooo) I would be volunteering at my girl’s school to listen to reading. They seem to really appreciate this as the teachers don’t always get the time to do it as often as they would like.
    My second starts reception this September and I have already been asked if I will be working more hours! I would prefer to reduce them!
    I think blogging and just being there for Oscar is perfect to start with. I wish I was free during the day cos I would join you for that coffee!
    Thanks for sharing! Xx Kathy #BloggerClubUK

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Oh Kathy what a lovely comment, thank you so much. Its hard not to feel the pressure to fill my time ‘productively’. If the government or the media had their way I’d be straight into full time employment. But the fact that I have the option to be here for O when he needs me (and to blog about it ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) is something I’m very pleased to have. Shame about the coffee, we’ll have to make up for it at our End of Term Celebration !

  16. People are so nosey aren’t they! It’s no one’s business but yours and I would say just enjoy the time you have to yourself for now! Like you say, you will need to be on hand for Oscar for the first term anyway but other than that you blimmin’ well deserve to just have some “me” time! #PickNMix

  17. I’ve been having similar questions, my littlest will be headed to nursery and my eldest will be at school. I have a plan of action now at least as to what I WANT to do, try some freelance work, and look at a qualification. I’ve not looked at WHAT yet though!

    • mrssavageangel says:

      I think you’ll have your hands full settling your family into a new country! Although by then you might already be settled so finding a new think might not be so bad!

  18. As a stay-and-work-at-home mum it was a massive relief to me when BB started school in September last year as it meant no more nursery fees for her and just one child at home. Life became a lot easier! #picknmix

Leave a Reply to Becky, Cuddle Fairy Cancel reply

*