I have learnt

A week. I’ve been a school boy’s mum for a week. Or in fact over a week. And I can’t quite believe it.

Maybe I should write a ’10 things I have learnt about school age children/having an SEN child in a mainstream school/the school gate’ post. They seem to be popular. But to be honest I’m not sure I’ve learnt very much about any of those things.

I know I’ve learnt that sending my child off to school in tears breaks my heart in ways I was absolutely not expecting.

I’ve learnt I can hold my tears back when he really needs me to. And that they will engulf me when I let them go.

I’ve learnt that having a child beg to stay home while hiding under the duvet, a thing he has NEVER done before, and yet staying calm and collected and kind but firm is ridiculously hard.

I’ve learnt I don’t care about what he’s actually doing in the day, as long as I hear he’s OK.

I’ve learnt how proud a silly little sticker can make me.

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I’ve learnt my capacity to stay on message is immense and, for Oscar, the very kindest thing I could possibly do.

I’ve learnt that when he’s ready to ‘tell’ me things he will.

I’ve learnt how amazing my son’s capacity for communication actually is, even if that includes play acting with his very favourite soft toys.

I’ve learnt that when Oscar asks to take a bear to school with him, I will secretly squeeze and whisper to that bear to please look after him.

I’ve learnt about my son’s capacity to find coping mechanisms quickly and appropriately.

I’ve learnt how quickly I can turn around a load of dirty uniform.

I’ve learnt that I was ready to let him go. And to have him come back.

I’ve learnt the joys of time.

I’ve learnt that my mind will still automatically jump to how to manage a situation for Oscar, even if he’s not there.

I’ve learnt how much people are rooting for Oscar.

I’ve learnt how supportive my community is. And how much I truly appreciate that.

OK, so maybe I have learnt a few things. Unexpected things, learnt through painful lessons. But learnt none the less.  I cried every day last week. But only one day so far this week. I didn’t cry yesterday. I didn’t cry today.

I’ve learnt that he will cope.

I’ve learnt that I will cope.

boy on path

On his way

Comments

  1. Sending hugs….It sounds like you have both had a rough start to school but it also sounds like you are doing well….It will get easier xx

  2. Well done that boy and well done you! It is harder than you imagine leaving them at school. It does get easier although I now feel just like you all over again with my 18 year old leaving for University. I expected to feel he was grown up and ready, the truth is he is ready, I’m not! I’m sure it is the same for your son at primary too. Give it time and hopefully you will both adapt to the new routine. Enjoy those precious after school times. #SSAA

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much! I cant even imagine how hard it must be to have your baby moving out of home!!! Hope it goes well!

  3. A beautiful post! It is so hard having a little one head off to school for the first time – my big learning was not to try and take on his arguments when another little one wouldn’t let him play in the cars. I was all for going in to the teacher and fixing it for him – until I remembered they were all only 3 so I should probably just let him deal with it! #ablogginggoodtime

  4. Oh bless you both! I know how hard it is to send a child to school when they are begging you not to, I had years of it with one of my children so I have definitely shed those tears a lot myself. I am so glad things are settling though and really hope he starts to love school. Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

  5. Sending hugs to you. Your comment about you don;t care what he is doing as long as he is OK really sums up what I think about our school experience. I sat and listened to another mum at parents evening and was amazed at the detail she went into with the teacher. All I wanted to know was if my son was happy, anything he learns is just an added bonus in my eyes. I really hope it is getting easier for you both and school turns into an enjoyable experience.

    Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)
    x

    • mrssavageangel says:

      Thank you so much for the hugs! It really is all I care about at the moment. He’s four. What else could possibly matter!? He’s doing well though, so far!

  6. it’s so hard when they don’t want to go to School, unless you have experienced it from your hild I don’t think you know how heartbreaking it really is. I would regularly sob all the way to work after dropping my eldest and in random places throughout the day. If it helps he’s year 4 now and those days seem like a distant memory. I hope he is settling in well otherwise. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
    Eilidh x

  7. Well done on surviving your first week as a school boy mummy – you have learnt so much. I hope he is settling in well and great job on the sticker!!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

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