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mrssavageangel

First time mother just trying to figure out where to go from here.

Personal

Sold!

27/01/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

I’ve never been a hoarder. Ever since I left home at 18, with my life packed up in my boyfriend’s Citroen AX, I’ve been acutely aware of keeping what I need and moving on what I don’t. I moved house a lot in my 20’s, which only served to reinforce my brutal approach to clutter (you try moving house, across London, on the Tube with only two large rucksacks and a boyfriend for help and then tell me you have to keep that pair of jeans you never wear or that frog ornament you never liked.)

Since having Oscar I’ve become ultra efficient at moving stuff on, for two reasons. One is that children out grow EVERYTHING very quickly. Not just clothes, which they can speed through quicker than you can say “this season’s JoJo catalogue” but also toys, books, equipment, furniture. You name it, they use it and grow out of it. The other is that we live in a tiny cottage. We have two bedrooms, one of which is a loft extension, meaning storage is at a premium (our “loft” consists of three small cupboards in the eaves of Oscar’s bedroom). These things combined mean I have little option other than to constantly move things on. You simply couldn’t live in this house, with a child and not be a ruthless declutterer.

But do you know? I love doing it!

I get a real thrill from seeing things I no longer have use or space for, being given a new home and a second lease of life, while I get a little money in my back pocket. I have several ways in which I do it:

eBay

I love eBay. Yes I know it has its issues and not everyone wants to pay the fees they charge, but as platform for selling to as wide an audience as possible it’s hard to beat. I’ve been selling on eBay since 2009, when I moved to Swansea, with no job and time on my hands. Because that’s really what selling on eBay requires, a bit of time. I still regularly put things on eBay, although with the cost of postage going up and up I am finding it less and less appealing for children’s clothes. People just aren’t prepared to pay more than a couple of pounds for an item they then have to pay ยฃ3 or ยฃ4 postage for. I still sell adult clothes with some success but for children’s clothes I have started to favour Facebook.

Facebook

You can advertise your items in your own News Feed, if you think you have friends who might want what you have but I’ve found the best way to sell through Facebook, is to join a local buying and selling group. I’ve joined several community groups, aimed specifically at buying and selling childrens items. These groups are all voluntarily run and the good ones are run really well. They enable other members (usually people local to you) to see the items you are selling and contact you directly about buying and collecting them. I’ve become much more keen on using this method for Oscar’s things as they charge no fees and buyers seem happier to pay a little more for each item as there is no postage cost.

Nearly New

I don’t know about your local area but we have a really active NCT branch where I live. They do all sorts for local parents, but being a charity have to fund their work themselves. One of the biggest ways in which they do this, is their bi-annual Nearly New Sales. This is a mammoth feat of organisation, but results in a super opportunity to buy really decent quality second hand items. I’ve been attending our local sale since I was 8 months pregnant with Oscar, first as a buyer, then as a volunteer. I also tried my hand at selling last year. The sales offer an opportunity to sell items for you (no manning a stall needed) and the fees charged go to a local charity rather than a massive corporation. However, preparing items for sale can be rather time consuming, particularly if these items don’t sell. I had better luck selling equipment and toys rather than clothes here. I think I’ve learnt you have to make a decision at sales like this. Do you want to make money or space in your house? I know one of our most successful sellers sells large quantities, but at 50p an item. So you need to ask yourself, why are you selling your items, before pricing them up.

Charity Shop

I tend to donate things only when I’ve tried and failed to sell them or if they were given to me in the first place. All things donated really need to be in good condition – which some people forget. I used to work for a charity that had a shop. I have sorted many a bag of generous donations, but I am telling you now, if you wouldn’t sell it because it’s torn, stained or unwearable, then charity shops can’t sell it either! If they’re switched on then these shops will be able to recycle these items, but, seriously people, think before you donate!

Recycling

I’ve taken clothes to recycle banks (like bottle banks but for clothes), but I’ve only ever used paid recycling when I worked at the shop. There are more and more companies springing up that collect clothing and pay a small amount for it per kilo. I have never had enough at one time to make this worth me doing, but my Mother in Law had a proper clear out recently and managed to make ยฃ11 at 50p per kilo! If you’ve got heavy adult items (or perhaps just lots and lots of children who have trashed clothes you can’t sell any other way) I guess this might be worth a look.

There are lots of other ways, including various online swapping, selling or giving sites I’ve tried but had little luck with. I have also never tried a car boot, yard or jumble sale, again because I’ve never had enough all at once to make it worth while, but I’d be willing to give it a go if I did. I’m happy to move most things on, in any number of different ways. But despite this being the case, I can assure you, I don’t lack sentiment.

In my wardrobe I have a tote bag filled to the brim with pieces that mean something to me, all that bring back a memory of Oscar’s life. I have the 0-3 Month baby grow we were going to bring him home in, the (second hand newborn size) babygrow we actually did, the outfit from his Pleased to Meet You baby party, his first rattle, his first shoes, his first pair of jeans, the list goes on. Occasionally I take them out and look at them. I remember, when I’ve forgotten, just how tiny he was and I smile.

Yes I’m a ruthless declutterer, yes I get a thrill out of selling our stuff, but there are some things I would never sell.

Not for all the tea in China.

Mums' Days

Filed Under: Personal, Shopping Tagged With: #AllAboutYou, Baby, Charity, children, Ebay, Facebook, making money, Memories, NCT, Nearly New, online, preloved, Secondhand, Selling, Sentimental, Shopping

Lisa’s Stuff

06/01/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

One of the things I was (and still am a bit) most proud of about my early adult life was the fact that when I left home aged 18, I never moved back. I packed up all the belongings I felt were important to me at the time (you know ghetto blaster, Alanis Morrissette CD, liquid eyeliner) and moved on. At the time I wasn’t interested in keeping much from my childhood. I was tasting freedom for the first time and I was all about the future.

That seems like such a long time ago now and the person writing this is not the same as the girl who left home in her boyfriend’s car to travel from Devon to London in 1997, or even the young woman who lived for all her 20’s in London, the very place she wanted to be and the place she came to dislike so much. Now I have a child, a family of my own, and it has bought my past into sharp relief. It’s made me reexamine memories long forgotten. It made me wish I’d kept more of my “stuff”, physical evidence that, I too, was once a child.

My mum called a few weeks ago to tell me that she’d found a box marked “Lisa’s Stuff” in amoung the boxes she’d been storing, some since they moved in 1998. She said that it definitely appeared to be mine, although neither she nor I could think what was in it. So it was with great excitement that I collected the box from my sister’s when we visited over Christmas. I couldn’t wait to get it home and take a look.

The box was rather damp and mildewed, and fell apart once I removed the parcel tape. On the top was a doll. I hadn’t seen her in over 20 years, but then I don’t remember ever not having her. I believe it was given to me as a baby. She was a little moldy and her felt eyes and one cheek had been lost along the way but here she was, something so firmly from my early childhood, it was a little bit like being punched in the stomach.

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And it carried on like that. I felt like Tony Robinson, uncovering the layers of history.

Next came the books.

These were the books I learnt to read with, the same kind of ladybird books I had wanted to collect for Oscar. Here were piles of them, every picture dragging me back. Then the Story Teller binders, a magazine and tape I got every week for 6 months when I was about 5. I listened to and later read those stories over and over again, for years. I doubt my parents realised just what an amazing investment these would be.

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There were beloved Enid Blyton books (nobody laugh at the title Mr Pink Whistle Interferes please – this was a much more innocent age!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) and annuals and various other titles. It was a joy to hold them again, read the words, look at the illustrations and remember.

Then there was the school work – mostly from the late Juniors and early Seniors. I found project work about Australia and the Second World War and a whole folder of stories I’d written. I sat up way into the night just reading them. It’s amazing just how much I was influenced by Australian soap operas as an 11 year old and it’s even more amazing that my wonderful teacher at the time, Mrs Tooth, encouraged my style. Bless her. Even back then she told me I “considered my audience”! Although I did also have a taste for the slightly macabre, with titles such as The Holiday Terror and The Birthday Horror (don’t ask!)

I had such a fantastic evening, rediscovering parts of me I’d left behind. I found a jigsaw, that we had always kept at my paternal grandmothers (no idea how I got it) and this has been given to Oscar, along with some of the books. The Kylie Annual 1990 was a real hoot and I also found a couple of photos. One was my class photo from my first year in infant school (I look just like a long haired, brunette, female version of the boy!). The other was from when I won a competition at a holiday park in Cornwall when I was 11. I look so lovely, so tanned and happy.

Then as I was looking through the books, I found a print out of a piece I’d written about myself when I was 13, called All About Me.

This is it.

image

Parts of it made me smile. I still don’t live in a cottage in the Cotsworlds or a mansion in the Caribbean (although both of those things still sound awesome!). I still don’t like Pasties and although I can tolerate spaghetti now its still not my fave. I would still love to go Scuba Diving – I have tried but my epilepsy is an issue. I liked the bit about career choices. Actress, Social Worker or Counselling Person (!). I am not and wouldn’t want to be an Actress, I’d rather eat my own arm than be a Social Worker and if I assume a Counselling Person means a Counsellor then I don’t really think I’ve got the patience. But I do enjoy helping people so maybe that’s enough.

But part of it made me really sad. I was 13 and I was concerned with money (or lack of it) and my weight. At 13. I looked again of the picture of me at 11. I wouldn’t say the girl in that picture was overweight, but when I look back I know I felt it. I’ve been/believed myself to be overweight all my life. And what you believe will be the truth.

It broke my heart, but it also made me realise that it’s time to change those beliefs. Those deep rooted, long held beliefs, the ones you’ve had so long you don’t even know you have them. I couldn’t have found this at a better time in my journey. I intend to prove to that young girl, that you don’t have to be what you believe you are. You can change. I will make her wish come true.

Although World Peace might be a stretch!

xx

Filed Under: Personal Tagged With: Baby, childhood, Family, History, Motherhood, Personal, School, Weight, young adult

Just in case!

01/01/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hello there and a happy 2014 to you!

I wasn’t planning to write today, but just in case the old adage of “what you do on New Years Day, you do for the rest of the year” is true, I wanted to write. My blog is so important to me and I want it to be a big part of my year.

So here it is:

I hope you all had the Christmases you hoped for. Mine was lovely, spent pretty much doing exactly as I planned. I got to see my son opening his presents (all on his own, not like last year where we pretty much did it for him!) and love the things we gave him.

Cars!!!!
Cars!!!!

I got to spend the big day eating my favourite foods, with my favourite guys. After Christmas I also got to visit family and friends and have a whale of a time, laughing, talking and having a bevvy or two (or three or four!) I felt very lucky.

New Years Eve was a bit of a funny one really. We were back home and I spent most of the day feeling miserable because we hadn’t arranged to do anything. I felt I was missing out, in a way that hadn’t bothered me for the past two years, when I was either too pregnant or too tired to care. I like to think this is a real indicator of just how far I’ve come. I had the energy. I wanted to do something. In the end we agreed to drink the champagne we never got round to at Christmas, I cooked steak and we watched Waking the Dead with the lovely Trevor Eve on Netflix. And do you know? It was a lush evening. I would still like to be a bit more organised and plan to do something for New Year this year, but seeing out 2013, alone with the guy I love was fab – because we made it so ๐Ÿ˜‰

So. A new year then. I’m not one for making New Years Resolutions. I used to be. They were always unrealistic with absolutely no thought put into how to achieve them. I’d get a few days in and quit or fail. And feel a failure. But this year I thought I’d have another crack at it.

This year I resolve to be happy.

Yup, that’s my resolution. To be happy in my life, in what I do and how I do it. I want to be a good mother, I want to keep losing weight, I want to keep writing, I’d like to earn some money. None of these are resolutions in themselves, but they are just some of the things I intend to do to help me achieve my resolution. To be happy.

Cheers!
Cheers!

I’ve never felt so excited at New Year for what might lie ahead. Watch out 2014 – you’re mine!!!!

xxxx

Filed Under: Personal Tagged With: happy, new year, Personal, resolution

Slimming World Update Week 23

24/12/2013 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

So as promised in my previous post here is my update, a day early.

This past week has been incredibly challenging. I feel like I have been surrounded by images of festive indulgence for weeks now, but this week it has really started to get to me. I think it’s because all the groups we go too have broken up for Christmas, which really makes it feel like we’re on holiday. I have had to remind myself constantly that its not actually Christmas yet!

So OK this past week hasn’t always seen the wisest food choices, although I have tried to keep to planned meals. I know my will power has been tested to its absolute limits in the past few days, which is why I am so glad I hadn’t bought a tin of chocolate biscuits, like I normally do at Christmas. I’m pretty sure one of those bad boys would have been gone in one sitting on Sunday if I had!

For various reasons it worked out better for me to go to the weigh in on Monday, rather than my usual group on Tuesday. It was at a different venue (same consultant, different group) but I was desperate to get weighed right before Christmas. Partly to know how I’m doing, partly so I know exactly how I do over the Christmas week and partly so I could tell you, and my family when I visit them in Devon, exactly how much I have lost so far.

And that figure is exactly 4 Stone (56lb).

4stone

Yep this week I lost the 1lb I asked for and reached my 4 stone award. It feels like the best Christmas present I could have given myself. I’m so proud and seeing Ben’s face when I told him was priceless.

So what will the coming week bring? Well, I still intend to eat what I want to on Christmas Day. We went and bought small pieces of our favourite cheeses on Saturday from the very knowledgeable cheese counter at Secretts Farm Shop in Milford and I am really looking forward to savouring every mouthful. We have our one box of beautiful chocolates and our Baileys and bottle of Verve. I can’t wait!

But this Christmas will be different for me. I will not eat til I ache. I will not eat things I don’t really want or like, just because they’re there. And I will not eat food others want to give me if I do not want it myself. I’m just not prepared to deal with the kind of fall out a week of binging will bring.

But a day of small indulgences, well that I can cope with ๐Ÿ˜‰ .

Before I go, I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read my blog and given me such amazing feedback over the past 6 months. I cannot explain how much it’s meant to me and my journey and I look to pay that positivity and kindness forward wherever I can. You are all so amazing. Thank you.

I hope you all have the Christmases you want and choose for yourselves. Mine will be spent with the family and friends I love wearing clothes that are already three sizes smaller than when I started this journey. I feel so very lucky and I can’t wait to see what I can achieve in 2014.

I look forward to updating you in the New Year, but for now I’ll say a massive

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Filed Under: Christmas, Personal, Slimming World, Weight Loss Tagged With: Christmas, food, Losing weight, Personal, Slimming World, Thanks, Weight, Weight Loss

Something Old, Something New….

23/12/2013 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

As the festive season is well underway and the end of the year creeps closer I thought it might be a nice opportunity to update you on a couple of things I’ve covered in the last six months (six months? I’ve been blogging for six months already – where the hell did that time go???)

Anyway, lets crack on.

Back in August I wrote a post about Ben’s grandmother’s clock that had come to live with us. If you missed that one, you can read about how deeply it touched me here.

Since then we have had the piece restored by the wonderful chaps at the Surrey Clock Centre and had it properly installed in our house. We found out something of its history. It was made in Cornwall (Cornish grandfather clocks are something of a rarity apparently) and we even have the makers name. We also found out for certain that it was made in the 18th Century, probably around 1780! That made me gulp a bit. It really is a proper, proper antique. I mean I knew it was but having it confirmed in writing was just such a shock. As I said before, we are just so privileged to have been given guardianship of such a beautiful piece.

The clock in its new home

It now sits on the landing, outside our bedroom. The ticking and chiming have become a part of the sound of our home. We don’t even notice the little squeak, the guys tried and tried to correct, anymore.

tick tock...
tick tock…

Every time we take Oscar past it we stop and say “Hi Clock”. It started as a way to try and introduce them, so he wouldn’t be scared (it’s quite big!) or curious and want to play with it. So far it’s worked and he’s trying desperately hard to say “Clock”.

IMG_4170
A thing of beauty

Bettie is still with us, being cared for down in Cornwall. I still wish I could thank her.

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Then there was my post about my grandmothers inheritance. You can read about that here. I was left a small amount of money and wanted to buy Oscar something from it as a present from the Great Grandmother he never got to meet.

I had such a job deciding what to get him. Had he been a girl then a piece of jewellery would have been perfect, but a boy? Its just that bit harder to know what to get.

In the end I chose a beautiful copy of the collected works of Winnie the Pooh. Oscar loves the original characters and Ben and I love AA Milne’s writing, so it seemed like a good choice.

IMG_4173

IMG_4174

It’s a proper ‘read to’ copy. When he has enough concerntration to sit and listen to a story I can’t wait to get the book out of it’s box and share the adventures of the inhabitatants of the Hundred Acre Wood.

IMG_4177

And then when he’s old enough to understand I will explain who bought him the book and tell him all about her.

My favourite illustration
My favourite illustration

My hope is the book will become special to Oscar. Hopefully special enough to pass down the line ๐Ÿ˜‰ .

I hope you enjoyed this little catch up as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I will hopefully be writing my update tomorrow as I am going to a SW group tonight rather than tomorrow. But for those of you who don’t read my SW updates I thought I’d let you know I wont be writing over the festive season. We have agreed to unplug for a few days and I can’t wait!

So if I wont see you before, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If I will you’ll get yours tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜‰

xxxx

Filed Under: Family, Personal Tagged With: books, Clocks, Family, Gift, grandmother, History, Inheritance, winnie the pooh

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