Weight Loss

Slimming World Update – Week 89

03/04/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi guys

Just a quick update this week.

So I don’t know if any of you follow me on Instagram, but if you do you’ll know I spent the past week uploading pictures of my meals – not normally something I do. I thought perhaps if I could keep a visual diary it might help me stay focussed AND get a little accountability back in my life. If you do follow me, this is the kind of thing you’ll have seen:

My lunches and dinners have all been fully on plan and optimised to the max. The only syns in any of these was in the sweet chilli sauce in the noodles. Boom!

Only this wasn’t all I was eating. Yes my meals were all bang on, but in between? What I like to call the hidden food? The bits and snacks no on sees you eating? Yeah, they’re the ones that caused me to gain 3lb this week.

Shit.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I just cant stick to it. Some days I can’t, some days I just don’t want to (and mark me there is a difference). I’ve taken a food diary this week and I fully intended to use it. It’s Friday already and I haven’t written a single thing down. No point in lying, I haven’t. I had a syn free dinner last night and am currently preparing one for tonight (my favourite Pepperpot Stew, with green beans and rice) but I know I’ve gone over my syns yesterday and today. And if I’m being honest I know tomorrow probably wont be totally food optimised either.

I feel a bit like I’m unravelling. It’s all well and good saying ‘Oh yes I’m going to do this and this and wont do this and blah blah blah’, but if it comes down to the crunch and you do the opposite it’s just all bluster and hot air. Good intentions never helped anyone lose weight.

Sorry this hasn’t been more positive. It’s hard to inspire others when you don’t even have the inspiration to help yourself.

Laters

Slimming World Update – Week 88

26/03/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi chaps

How was this week for you? Mine was better. Not brilliant, but not as awful as it has been. I guess its called ‘coming to terms with the situation’. Any who, I’ve not been gorging the way I did last week, however I have taken a much more laissez faire attitude than I normally would, to the food I’ve been eating. A ‘what happens, happens’ approach if you will. Meh, its been OK, but has obviously resulted in another gain. 0.5lb on. Which has heartbreakingly (for me) just dipped me back under the 6 stone mark to 5 Stone 13.5lb lost. Bleugh.

But over the past few days I’ve started to feel a change coming on. Due in part (maybe!) to the effect eating fat has had on my gall stones. Owch! That’s not helping anyone! So I’ve gone back to planning meals a bit more carefully. For dinner this week I intend to have (although not necessarily in this order):

Pulled pork, with roasted butternut squash and green beans
Chicken casserole made with carrots, onions, celery and split yellow peas, served with broccoli
Bolognese made with peppers and mushrooms and pasta
Gammon, with SW Chips, eggs, mushrooms and salad
Pan fried salmon, with noodles and many and varied stir fry veg

Dinners I’ve made before and know. The pork is divine and makes so much I may actually have this twice. I’ve also stocked up on fruits such as pears, melons, bananas, grapes and frozen raspberries:

as opposed to these ones. These are OK, but go a bit more mushy when defrosted and don't taste nearly as nice — as opposed to these ones. These are OK, but go a bit mushy when defrosted and don’t taste nearly as nice

So I have the wherewithal to give my body a break from the crap. But I’m not pretending it’ll be easy. I find the snacking unbelievably hard to control, particularly after an extended period of indulgence! Its about mind set I guess. Being mindful of every minute. Stopping and asking every time is this really what I want. It’ll take a lot of energy, but I’m just taking one day at a time. Kind of like you would if you were a new member I suppose. And I think if I can get a good day in the bag, that can lead to another. And another and before you know I may just have a whole week I can be proud of!

I’m also drinking more water. And when I say water I mean, actual water. I’m not a water drinker as you may know. Can’t stand the stuff usually and stick to Robinson’s sugar free Apple and Blackcurrant squash. Only they’ve gone and changed the recipe and I really don’t like the taste. I had a couple of glasses before deciding I really didn’t like it and actually water might be boring and not taste that nice either, but my god it was better than this. Slightly disappointed, but in the long run, if it gets me drinking more plain water, its probably only for my own good.

So this week I’m definitely feeling more positive about facing the week ahead. And then yesterday a photo popped up in my Timehop that made me stop and think.

Have a great week people

xxxxx

Slimming World Update – Week 86/87

19/03/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi chaps

Yes its me and yes I’ve been silent of late and yes there’s been a really good reason for that (or not a reason at all depending on how you look at it!) Last weeks post didn’t happen, because to be fair to me, last weeks weigh in didn’t happen. We had some news, which I’m not going to go in to again (you can read about it here if you’re interested) that basically threw my head out of the window. I think we survived on takeout and oven chips last week, but I don’t really care that much.

Anywho, I told myself I was going to knock all that on the head come the weekend but that didn’t happen. In fact if anything it got worse. I wasn’t just eating food I would never normally (hello bread my old friend, how have you been?) I’ve been gorging on anything and everything. Even things I’m not enjoying, things I don’t really like or really want. If I was to use the Swan metaphor I was remaining calm on top and stuffing my face madly underneath. I know WHY I did this. Why my behaviour slipped back to emotional state I’ve not experienced in a loooong time. I’m not proud of it. Using food as some kind of gastronomic drug to soothe and self harm all at once. Some people drink themselves into oblivion for the same reasons, but it seems my panacea of choice will always be food.

Ho hum. The fact that I only gained 1.5lb over the past two weeks has astounded me. I’m back to having only lost 6 stone exactly, but I can live with that. What I can’t live with is the way that eating as though the end is nigh is making me feel physically. My mind may be placated, but my body’s in uproar! Basically I feel like shit. My skin’s terrible and I feel so lethargic. The body’s no fool, it knows what’s going on! So, as much as counting syns and being back with my head fully in the game might be asking a lot at the moment, I will be reverting to more ‘normal’ eating this week, if only to get some energy back. And right now, I need all the energy I can get!

Plus I’ve just ordered the coolest t-shirt in a size 14-16 and I’d really like to be able to wear it!

Laters

xxx

Slimming World Update – Week 85

05/03/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi chaps

Lets cut to the chase this week. Gained 0.5lb. Wasn’t a surprise, glad it wasn’t more. Total lost now is back to 6 Stone 1.5lb lost (85 1/2lb or 38.7kg). But no use dwelling too long. What’s done is done. The brownie and Danish pastry and cookie and krispie cake are eaten. Yep. This past week contained some awesomely on plan meals and some ridiculous ‘treats’. I must start sending the things I bake with Oscar into the office with Ben. I am simply rubbish with temptation!

I did have some small triumphs in the shops on Saturday, which you can read about here if you’re in the mood.

Last night’s group was really interesting. Our usual consultant was away and we had the lovely Helen stand in. The group was small, which it always is if our usual consultant isn’t in attendance (I’ve never understood that. To me group is group. I don’t go just for Sara’s top banter – sorry Sara 😉 ). Anyway we had a really interesting discussion on what constitutes Free Food and what’s Syn Free Food (which I totally get now, thanks for putting me right Helen) and a really thought provoking discussion about what constitutes a plate of optimised food. I’ve always tried to keep a meal one third super free or speed as its called now, but sometimes I add those veg into whatever it is I’m making, curry, bolognase etc because I a) don’t enjoy having ‘extra’ veg on the side of my plate with these meals (it just somehow feels wrong) and b) I cannot be buggered to cook up veg separately, making more mess, when I could just add them to the one pan. Helen’s point was that having extra vegetables on the plate takes up room you then can’t fill with rice or pasta etc. I’m not someone who can eat vast mounds of rice or pasta (even in my largest days), but I do see what she was getting at. Plus, I guess it could be a visual thing. The more different things you can see on your plate the more you feel you’ve eaten? Anyway, despite my initial balking at this idea, I came home and realised other than a few dishes, this is exactly what I do. So while I don’t think I’ll suddenly start serving extra veg with my curry, I absolutely will keep doing it with my other meals.

Thanks for a great group Helen.

So this week I’ve got some real challenges ahead. Firstly we’re off to Devon for Ben’s grandparents Diamond Anniversary celebration. While I’m not concerned about the meal itself so much, I know there’ll be wine. Plus there’s the journey there and back. It’s such a long way and as the non driver in the family it’ll mean just sitting for nigh on five hours. I think I’ll go and stock up on fruit and chicken and the like for when the nibbles strike. Fortunately Ben’s nibble of choice when long distance driving is Liquorice Allsorts. I can’t stand them so no temptation there! Phew!

On the up side this week, I do get to wear my new dress. So, you know, swings and roundabouts.

If I work hard at staying on plan before and after hopefully I can minimise any damage I’ll do in wine.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have a great week

Xxxx

Slimming World Update – Week 84

28/02/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hey guys

Sorry for not being around last week. I’m not really sure why I didn’t blog last week, I didn’t have a terrible weigh in or anything. In fact I maintained again. But, I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling it. Like any of it. Not really sure why. I had a positive Friday and then the rest of the week seemed to descend into darkness. Negativity topped with a swirl of self destructive behaviour. Its not just that I didn’t count my sysns, I activity went out looking for syns. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like that, I can tell you. And to be honest I thought I was stronger than that now. Just goes to show huh? We’re all vulnerable, we’re all human. We all feel and we all have times when we do the ‘wrong’ thing. But then there is a school of thought that says you can’t do the wrong thing, that everything you do right now, is right. Even if it seems wrong, what have you taken from it, learnt from it? I also subscribe heavily to the idea of choice. That we all, always, have a choice. That no one makes you feel anything without your permission. I made the choice to let myself feel the way I did and eat the things I did and behave the way I did. No one else was in control. I could tell you how hard I’ve found looking after Oscar this week etc etc, but at the end of the day no one ate that bread for me. I chose to let myself fall sideways, the consequence of which was a 4lb gain and another lesson learnt.

C’est la vie.

Some days I wonder if it’s worth it, whether I can be bothered and what’s it all for. Some days, nearly two years on, I still have to fight with myself. Some days I get sick of trying, of thinking about food, of the energy it takes. Some days I don’t win. Then some days I do. Last week I got a new pair of jeans. You may remember I needed new jeans before Christmas but couldn’t find any I liked. I find it really hard to find jeans as I’m not a typical female shape. I’m relatively straight and narrow through the hip with a surprisingly small bum for my size! I carry most of my weight across my stomach, meaning I need a wider waist than hip (think ice cream cone!) so when I find a shape of jean that fits and flatters I am loyal to it for life. I was distraught when Next changed the material (and possibly the cut) of my favourite Relaxed Skinny jeans last year, however so were a lot of other women. I like to think the disgruntled customers were heeded as the composition of the material has changed again this season, with much more cotton making all the difference. I bought the size 14 I’ve been hankering after and blow me if they weren’t too big. Now I will point out at this stage in the proceedings that this is something to do with the cut of the jeans. The fact that I had to try, nay purchase, the size 12 bears no resemblance to my size in real life. Seriously. But they fit and I’m happy with that.

I also had something of a surprise in group this week. I was awarded Greatest Loser 2015 for the 7.30 group. On a week where I’d had such a gain I felt something of a fraud collecting it, but then that’s what this award is all about. It’s not about what happened today or even last week, it’s about a collective effort over many weeks and months. I didn’t feel I deserved it on the night (which is possibly why I look so pinch faced in the photo) and I worry about celebrating what I’ve achieved sometimes as I might start resting on my laurels too much and becoming complacent. It’s all stuff no one tells you about a long term weight loss journey I guess!

I’m sorry if I sound a bit miserable at the moment. It’s been a real pisser of a week for a million reasons, but the boy is back at preschool now, I’ve got a new week ahead of me and on Saturday I get to see my great friends and wonderful family as I leave my son and spend the night away, just being a grown up. I’ve just got a frock for the occasion too. I can’t wait to show it to you. But let’s just say it’s very flattering, very fitted and a size 16. Go me!

Hope all our weeks are good ones, including mine.

Here’s to putting ‘Fuck it February’ to bed and starting on ‘Make it Happen March’ xxx