6 stone

Hi there

I’ll start by telling you that at last night’s weigh in I lost 2.5lb which, despite not being all the weight I gained over the last two weeks, is a good enough start for me. It takes me back to 5 Stone 12.5lb.

But actually what I want to talk about today is not last night’s group, or even this weeks result.

You see this is a pretty special post for me, because last night’s weigh in marked the 1 year anniversary of my joining Slimming World and starting on this incredible journey I never believed I could make.

A year ago I was in a very different ‘place’. I weighed 6 stone more than I do now, had a very different relationship with food in general and my outlook on life was tired, sad and often on the negative side. I was so consumed with being a new mother and the associated challenges that come with that, that I’d almost ceased to exist as a person in my own right. I don’t think that’s wholly unusual in new mothers, but I was compensating for this lack of self worth by giving myself the one thing that I really didn’t need. High sugar, high fat food and lots of it. It’s sad to think I gained 2 stone after I had my son (and not, as someone assumed the other day, while I was pregnant), but I think I need to make it clear that I can’t blame my starting weight solely on motherhood. I have been obese my whole adult life. My weight’s fluctuated a bit, but except for a year or so I’ve been a size 22/24 all my adult life. The last time I wore the size 16’s I’m wearing now was in my late teens.

A couple of things happened to motivate me to change things in 2013. Firstly my son turned 1 in the April (I wore a size 24 dress to his party. It was pretty tight) and I realised I wouldn’t be able to the use the ‘new baby’ excuse for much longer. He wasn’t new any more!

Around the same time I also started keeping a gratitude journal via the Happier.com app, recording three happy moments a day. I did it daily and realised within a few months that all my happy moments were about Oscar and never about me. This got me thinking. So I started my blog to give me something of an outlet, with no intention of sharing it 😉 !

Then over the next few months I happened to see a couple of photos that shocked me rigid.

First there was this one.

At the time I told myself it was just an awful photo – that the boy was extremely wriggly and I was caught in an unflattering position, trying to keep hold of him. Now, I think it looks like I’m trying to hide behind by one year old son.

Then a couple of months later this was taken at Oscar’s toddler group summer picnic.

I was convinced this was going to be a great picture of the two of us and when I saw it I was heart broken. That dress is a size 26.

I knew something had to change, but funnily enough joining Slimming World wasn’t so much about losing weight at first. It was more about getting some space for me. So OK, so my reason for joining might sound odd to you, but it was hugely motivating at the time. I’m not sure if I had joined with the sole intention of losing lots of weight I would have succeeded in quite the same way. I went with no real expectation, putting no pressure on myself to ‘do well’.

But to my surprise, after a couple of weeks I did start to ‘do well’ and the boost it gave me was immeasurable. The ‘plan’ (I never call it the ‘plan’ – it makes it sound a bit cult like!) made me question how I thought about food. Don’t get me wrong, I knew what foods were nutritionally better for me than others, but this actually made me stop and think about the food I was eating, rather than blindly eating whatever I fancied. The group sessions, or Image Therapy as Slimming World rather grandly call them 😉 were also a revelation. I found, and still do find, talking about any issues I’ve had that week incredibly useful, but not only that it also gave me the space to be proud of my achievements, something I’d never done before. Accepting compliments is incredibly liberating. If you’ve not done it before, I highly recommend it.

The rest of the year you probably already know. It’s passed anyone’s expectations, probably because no one actually had any 🙂 . My SW achievements include:

Winning Slimmer of the Week 12 times
Winning Slimmer of the Month 3 times
Losing 10% of my body weight
Winning ‘Greatest Loser of the Year’ for Liphook 7.30 group
Losing 6 stone in just under one year

But the achievements I’ve seen every day have been just as incredible

Going from a size 26 to a 16 Dress (with a stop off in my gorgeous size 22 Monsoon dress)
Getting back into my pre-pregnancy size 22 jeans and quickly slimming out of them again
Walking everywhere. I’ve halved the time it takes me to get anywhere, meaning I keep arriving early to everything!
Buying my first ever pair of skinny jeans – and living in them!
Finally fitting into Fat Face and Joules and other brands that don’t even carry plus sizes.

But I guess my greatest achievement so far has been just to keep going. To finally understand that no one else is responsible for this journey. Only me.

It’s not always easy. I have hard times, same as everyone. I have set backs and disappointments. I have days where I just don’t want to care any more. Days when I’m sick and tired of thinking about food and whether the choices I’m making are the best ones. Weeks when I look at the scales and want to cry, be it a gain or a loss. But despite all that, I just keep going. Something in me wont let me not.

Because you see I’m not finished yet. I still have further to go than some people ever do, but I have lost more than I need to lose and that’s a great feeling.

Hey what am I saying, I haven’t lost this weight. It’s gone. I have no intention of finding it again!

So the coming year? Who knows. I still have no idea of what my final target weight will be, or even should be. It was so far away I couldn’t even think about it before. Perhaps this year I will. I have my next interim target (to lose 2 more stone, making a total of 8 stone) to reach and I’m happy enough with that for now. Scales aside, who knows? I’m looking forward to buying a new winter coat to replace my old size 24 one. I want to take up yoga or pilates. Little things really.

Most of all I want to keep this happy, confident feeling. I feel like I’m visible for the first time in so long, I don’t want to fade again.

See her? That’s Lisa that is.

Have a great week

xxxxx

Hi guys

I’ve got so much to talk about today I’m not sure where to start!

I think I’ll begin with a reminder (if you’ve heard it before) or by letting you know (if you haven’t) that mrssavageangel now has her very own Facebook page. Bless her heart. She got a bit bolshy and insisted that if cats and babies can have their own pages (dear god) then why couldn’t she! So I finally capitulated and set one up (I didn’t want to annoy her – you should hear the language when she’s pissed off !). From July 1st all posts will be uploaded to Mrssavageangel’s page (and no longer my personal one). So if you’re enjoying my wittering on, be it about parenting or weight loss then come on over and join us at mrssavageangel (do I really need to tell you to LIKE me? Eww – how needy?) All posts will be uploaded along with various other updates, photos and general chatter.

Right, putting the shameless self publicist back in her box.

I suppose the first thing you really want to hear was how the wedding went. It was super! The weather was glorious all day (not always guaranteed despite it being June – hey Kerrina?) The bride was wearing possibly the nicest wedding dress I’ve ever seen (bar my own maybe, but she looked better in hers than I did in mine!) and looked radiant all day. So firstly I’d like to say a massive congratulations to Stacy and Craig.

10502090_10153145446545616_5463877868414543257_n — Congratulations Mrs and Mrs Stevenson

The most gorgeous bridal gown ever - almost ;) — The most gorgeous bridal gown ever – almost 😉

My Joules dress was a proper trooper, looking and feeling amazing all day. I can’t explain just how elegant and, without sounding gushy, god damn gorgeous I felt all day.

Full length toilet selfie - it's gotta be done, right? — Full length toilet selfie – it’s gotta be done, right?

Even after I gave up on the heels and moved on to comfy flats.

Me and the Bride — the evening was spent in comfy shoes!

I got compliments galore and so many surprised and amazed looks. I even had a couple of people walk past me not recognising me which was super cool (in a weird sort of way!) So thank you lovely dress. I just need to think of another excuse to wear you before you no longer fit! Which if last nights weigh in was anything to go by, might not so such a long time.

I absolutely expected a maintain or even a gain this week. My sister in law and I drank inordinate amounts of wine on Friday night, while we put the world to rights and the wedding meal itself was a cream tea. But well I didn’t go ballistic and as soon as we came home I was straight back to normal. And last night I lost 1lb, which the eagle-eyed among you might realise that took me to where I wanted to be last week.

I have now lost exactly 6 stone (84lbs)

I nearly cried when I looked down and James, the chap on weigh in, will tell you I could barely stand for the excitement! But here it is. Woop woop!

I’m so very proud of this achievement, despite the way I still have to go. And as the weeks creep by it’s getting easier for even those who don’t know me well to see the difference. I’ve had a couple of people I only really know by sight mention my weight loss this week and I think that’s a sure sign that you’re making an impact. But it has also raised a question in my mind. When people, very kindly and thoughtfully tell me how great I’m looking or how well I’m doing, it’s invariably followed by the question “How did you do it”? To which I always answer “Slimming World”. But, do you know what? Just lately, I’m starting to feel like that’s giving Slimming World all the credit. It feels like I’ve got nothing to do with it at all. And yes the eating plan I’m following was devised by SW and yes it’s working really well for me, but that plan would exist whether I followed it or not. What’s really helped me and Slimming World get to where I am today is me. Its my determination, my hard work, my focus, my responsibility. So yes Slimming World is absolutely playing a role and very important role, but so am I. I would urge anyone who wants to lose weight or who is losing weight to take responsibility for their journey, but likewise take the credit where credit is due. If people ask me from now on I think I’m going to say “Me and Slimming World – we’re making a great team”.

Right (she’s says as she climbs down of her soap box), the coming week has various happenings (June promised to be busy right to the end and I tell you it’s actually starting to spill into July!) We have friends coming over tomorrow to help Ben build a deck in the garden, possibly in the rain! I shall be supervising, in a childcare capacity and preparing BBQ – SW friendly of course! I’m happy I got my award, but don’t forget I still have another two stone to lose to get to my next interim target. So this week I plan to start making an inroads into my next award. You know the 6 and a half stone award. Sorry, that just sounds crazy! But, you know, good crazy 😉 !

Have a great week, taking credit where credit’s due!

xxxxx