Charity

One gift – an update…..

04/12/2019 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

It’s finally December and if you haven’t finished already (and if you subscribe to such things) your Christmas gift buying is probably underway. I know mine is, all gifts for my nieces and nephews wrapped and posted off and those for Oscar hidden strategically around the house. Seriously, who else struggles hiding presents? I’ve taken to even hiding some in plain sight, disguised as other, less exciting things.

Anyway, if you read my last post you’ll know I’ve had one more present to buy this year. You might remember how upset my autistic seven year old was when he realised not all children were as lucky as he is at Christmas time. And that he wanted to reach out, giving a gift and making a difference in the life of another child.

I initially struggled with how best to do this, but so many people who read the post were kind enough to contact me with organisations that might be able to help.

Initially I was thrilled that so many places seem to have this kind of giving covered. However the more I thought on the subject, the more my heart broke that the need should be so great to require so many organisations to be involved. It’s certainly a sobering thought in amongst the sparkle and shine of the Christmas season.

The suggestions given were very helpful and wide ranging. From local churches and radio stations to national membership organisations and charities. There seemed to be an option to speak to everyone.

After looking at all the options Oscar and I decided to donate to our local radio station’s long running Toy Appeal. Eagle Radio collects toys every year in various locations across our county and delivers them to a diverse list of local organisations, including Women’s Shelters, Family organisations and local authority departments working with families in crisis. It seemed like a good place to start.

All that was left to do was to chose a gift. Oscar mentioned Playdoh, which was a lovely idea but I suggested something with more longevity might be better. So we settled on Lego. Of course we did. 😉

Oscar was thrilled to be donating a box of Lego.

Our closest drop off point was a local garage so all I had to do was pop down with my unwrapped present and deliver it. It was gratifying to see the box was so full already.

Oscar’s present dropped off and on it’s way

I’m so proud of my little guy. He doesn’t cope well when others receive gifts and he doesn’t, and it’s definitely something we’re consciously working on. So to give up a big box of Lego, let alone suggest doing it in the first place? Well my heart is very full.

So many people came forward when I asked for suggestions of where to donate. It was really kind of them. So I have decided to collate them below. I have looked into them as much as I can but as always if you chose to donate, I urge you to do your own research first.

Local commercial radio stations often run parcel appeals. My local stations are Eagle Radio (Surrey) and Spirit Radio (West Sussex)
Membership organisations such as The Rotary Club collect parcels to send primarily to Eastern Europe. Check with your local club
Charities such as the Salvation Army run a shoebox type appeal
Check with your local church as many of our local churches also collect presents to be distributed
If you prefer to donate to a more secular charity Refuge run a ‘parcel’ campaign this times of year, allowing you to donate an amount to cover items for those escaping domestic violence
Choose Love is a charity that allows you to buy specific items for Refugees, either arriving, sheltering or to help in their future in a new country.
I mentioned this in my previous post, but Action for Children are running a Secret Santa campaign, including a printable certificate for whoever the gift is given in the name of

If you are interested in donating an actual physical gift be aware most places have a cut off date, so be sure to check these. For example Eagle Radio’s Toy Appeal cut of is 15th December.

One gift….

25/11/2019 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

A couple of years ago Oscar discovered the Dr Seuss story ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’. He loves Dr Seuss and this story was no exception. So when Illumination released an updated version in cinemas last Christmas, it was no surprise that he insisted we go see it.

It was, to be fair, a lovely retelling, and we enjoyed it so much that when a couple of months later it was released on Amazon, were were happy to buy it for him. He was thrilled and has watched it many times over the past year.

So when he watched it last week, in the run up to Christmas, I thought nothing of it. Until it reached the flash back scene, in which we are shown The Grinch’s childhood and how he was left alone at Christmas, with no friends, no family, no gifts and no love.

Oscar watched this and burst into tears. He’s always been an empathetic little soul, but recently he seems to feel and see things we might filter out. It’s a common misconception of Autism, that it involves an inability to feel. While this may apply to some, my little guy almost seems to feel too much, unable, as I say, to filter these emotions. Hence the sudden flood of tears for a fictional character who is left alone, lonely and sad at Christmas.

Of course I comforted him and assured him we wouldn’t leave him alone and giftless at Christmas (“you’d never do that me would you mummy?”). And while that seemed to help a little, he wanted to check no child would experience Christmas like the little Grinch did. And I had to be honest.

I explained that the saddest thing was that some children do not have the Christmas he knows. There are those who are sad, lonely, hurt and left wanting. He looked at me, his little face crumpling and asked “how can we help?”

It wasn’t the response I was expecting.

So I asked him, what did he think would help. Without hesitation he asked if we could “give them a present”. He took what makes him feel good at Christmas and extrapolated. And for a seven year old receiving a gift trumps any understanding of safety, security and love. I say it overrides them but maybe it actually encompasses them? For him anyway.

So I promised we could do something. And this is where I need your help. When I was a child putting together a shoe box of gifts was the done thing, but in recent years stories have to come light casting doubt on the motivations of organisations involved with such collections. We could give to our local food bank, however we already do and to be honest this doesn’t feel like it would address his need to specifically reach out to a child. I really like the ‘Secret Santa’ campaign Action for Children is running online at the moment, where you can donate a gift (an amount of money that could buy a gift or a meal etc) in the name of someone else.

So I’m reaching out. What would you do? Are there any organisations that give children gifts at Christmas who might not otherwise get one? If you have any suggestions I would be very grateful.

And look, I’m a realist. I realise this kind of giving is just a drop in the ocean of need experienced by families across the world every day. But it has come from such a pure and unexpected place. I can’t not encourage it. I want my son to engage with others and begin to increase his understanding of the world. And if it starts with this small act, so be it.

I know one Christmas present, from one child to another, wont change the world. But a Christmas present, this ‘festive’ season, from one child to another, could mean the world.

Sold!

27/01/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

I’ve never been a hoarder. Ever since I left home at 18, with my life packed up in my boyfriend’s Citroen AX, I’ve been acutely aware of keeping what I need and moving on what I don’t. I moved house a lot in my 20’s, which only served to reinforce my brutal approach to clutter (you try moving house, across London, on the Tube with only two large rucksacks and a boyfriend for help and then tell me you have to keep that pair of jeans you never wear or that frog ornament you never liked.)

Since having Oscar I’ve become ultra efficient at moving stuff on, for two reasons. One is that children out grow EVERYTHING very quickly. Not just clothes, which they can speed through quicker than you can say “this season’s JoJo catalogue” but also toys, books, equipment, furniture. You name it, they use it and grow out of it. The other is that we live in a tiny cottage. We have two bedrooms, one of which is a loft extension, meaning storage is at a premium (our “loft” consists of three small cupboards in the eaves of Oscar’s bedroom). These things combined mean I have little option other than to constantly move things on. You simply couldn’t live in this house, with a child and not be a ruthless declutterer.

But do you know? I love doing it!

I get a real thrill from seeing things I no longer have use or space for, being given a new home and a second lease of life, while I get a little money in my back pocket. I have several ways in which I do it:

eBay

I love eBay. Yes I know it has its issues and not everyone wants to pay the fees they charge, but as platform for selling to as wide an audience as possible it’s hard to beat. I’ve been selling on eBay since 2009, when I moved to Swansea, with no job and time on my hands. Because that’s really what selling on eBay requires, a bit of time. I still regularly put things on eBay, although with the cost of postage going up and up I am finding it less and less appealing for children’s clothes. People just aren’t prepared to pay more than a couple of pounds for an item they then have to pay £3 or £4 postage for. I still sell adult clothes with some success but for children’s clothes I have started to favour Facebook.

Facebook

You can advertise your items in your own News Feed, if you think you have friends who might want what you have but I’ve found the best way to sell through Facebook, is to join a local buying and selling group. I’ve joined several community groups, aimed specifically at buying and selling childrens items. These groups are all voluntarily run and the good ones are run really well. They enable other members (usually people local to you) to see the items you are selling and contact you directly about buying and collecting them. I’ve become much more keen on using this method for Oscar’s things as they charge no fees and buyers seem happier to pay a little more for each item as there is no postage cost.

Nearly New

I don’t know about your local area but we have a really active NCT branch where I live. They do all sorts for local parents, but being a charity have to fund their work themselves. One of the biggest ways in which they do this, is their bi-annual Nearly New Sales. This is a mammoth feat of organisation, but results in a super opportunity to buy really decent quality second hand items. I’ve been attending our local sale since I was 8 months pregnant with Oscar, first as a buyer, then as a volunteer. I also tried my hand at selling last year. The sales offer an opportunity to sell items for you (no manning a stall needed) and the fees charged go to a local charity rather than a massive corporation. However, preparing items for sale can be rather time consuming, particularly if these items don’t sell. I had better luck selling equipment and toys rather than clothes here. I think I’ve learnt you have to make a decision at sales like this. Do you want to make money or space in your house? I know one of our most successful sellers sells large quantities, but at 50p an item. So you need to ask yourself, why are you selling your items, before pricing them up.

Charity Shop

I tend to donate things only when I’ve tried and failed to sell them or if they were given to me in the first place. All things donated really need to be in good condition – which some people forget. I used to work for a charity that had a shop. I have sorted many a bag of generous donations, but I am telling you now, if you wouldn’t sell it because it’s torn, stained or unwearable, then charity shops can’t sell it either! If they’re switched on then these shops will be able to recycle these items, but, seriously people, think before you donate!

Recycling

I’ve taken clothes to recycle banks (like bottle banks but for clothes), but I’ve only ever used paid recycling when I worked at the shop. There are more and more companies springing up that collect clothing and pay a small amount for it per kilo. I have never had enough at one time to make this worth me doing, but my Mother in Law had a proper clear out recently and managed to make £11 at 50p per kilo! If you’ve got heavy adult items (or perhaps just lots and lots of children who have trashed clothes you can’t sell any other way) I guess this might be worth a look.

There are lots of other ways, including various online swapping, selling or giving sites I’ve tried but had little luck with. I have also never tried a car boot, yard or jumble sale, again because I’ve never had enough all at once to make it worth while, but I’d be willing to give it a go if I did. I’m happy to move most things on, in any number of different ways. But despite this being the case, I can assure you, I don’t lack sentiment.

In my wardrobe I have a tote bag filled to the brim with pieces that mean something to me, all that bring back a memory of Oscar’s life. I have the 0-3 Month baby grow we were going to bring him home in, the (second hand newborn size) babygrow we actually did, the outfit from his Pleased to Meet You baby party, his first rattle, his first shoes, his first pair of jeans, the list goes on. Occasionally I take them out and look at them. I remember, when I’ve forgotten, just how tiny he was and I smile.

Yes I’m a ruthless declutterer, yes I get a thrill out of selling our stuff, but there are some things I would never sell.

Not for all the tea in China.