Christmas

One gift – an update…..

04/12/2019 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

It’s finally December and if you haven’t finished already (and if you subscribe to such things) your Christmas gift buying is probably underway. I know mine is, all gifts for my nieces and nephews wrapped and posted off and those for Oscar hidden strategically around the house. Seriously, who else struggles hiding presents? I’ve taken to even hiding some in plain sight, disguised as other, less exciting things.

Anyway, if you read my last post you’ll know I’ve had one more present to buy this year. You might remember how upset my autistic seven year old was when he realised not all children were as lucky as he is at Christmas time. And that he wanted to reach out, giving a gift and making a difference in the life of another child.

I initially struggled with how best to do this, but so many people who read the post were kind enough to contact me with organisations that might be able to help.

Initially I was thrilled that so many places seem to have this kind of giving covered. However the more I thought on the subject, the more my heart broke that the need should be so great to require so many organisations to be involved. It’s certainly a sobering thought in amongst the sparkle and shine of the Christmas season.

The suggestions given were very helpful and wide ranging. From local churches and radio stations to national membership organisations and charities. There seemed to be an option to speak to everyone.

After looking at all the options Oscar and I decided to donate to our local radio station’s long running Toy Appeal. Eagle Radio collects toys every year in various locations across our county and delivers them to a diverse list of local organisations, including Women’s Shelters, Family organisations and local authority departments working with families in crisis. It seemed like a good place to start.

All that was left to do was to chose a gift. Oscar mentioned Playdoh, which was a lovely idea but I suggested something with more longevity might be better. So we settled on Lego. Of course we did. 😉

Oscar was thrilled to be donating a box of Lego.

Our closest drop off point was a local garage so all I had to do was pop down with my unwrapped present and deliver it. It was gratifying to see the box was so full already.

Oscar’s present dropped off and on it’s way

I’m so proud of my little guy. He doesn’t cope well when others receive gifts and he doesn’t, and it’s definitely something we’re consciously working on. So to give up a big box of Lego, let alone suggest doing it in the first place? Well my heart is very full.

So many people came forward when I asked for suggestions of where to donate. It was really kind of them. So I have decided to collate them below. I have looked into them as much as I can but as always if you chose to donate, I urge you to do your own research first.

Local commercial radio stations often run parcel appeals. My local stations are Eagle Radio (Surrey) and Spirit Radio (West Sussex)
Membership organisations such as The Rotary Club collect parcels to send primarily to Eastern Europe. Check with your local club
Charities such as the Salvation Army run a shoebox type appeal
Check with your local church as many of our local churches also collect presents to be distributed
If you prefer to donate to a more secular charity Refuge run a ‘parcel’ campaign this times of year, allowing you to donate an amount to cover items for those escaping domestic violence
Choose Love is a charity that allows you to buy specific items for Refugees, either arriving, sheltering or to help in their future in a new country.
I mentioned this in my previous post, but Action for Children are running a Secret Santa campaign, including a printable certificate for whoever the gift is given in the name of

If you are interested in donating an actual physical gift be aware most places have a cut off date, so be sure to check these. For example Eagle Radio’s Toy Appeal cut of is 15th December.

One gift….

25/11/2019 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

A couple of years ago Oscar discovered the Dr Seuss story ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’. He loves Dr Seuss and this story was no exception. So when Illumination released an updated version in cinemas last Christmas, it was no surprise that he insisted we go see it.

It was, to be fair, a lovely retelling, and we enjoyed it so much that when a couple of months later it was released on Amazon, were were happy to buy it for him. He was thrilled and has watched it many times over the past year.

So when he watched it last week, in the run up to Christmas, I thought nothing of it. Until it reached the flash back scene, in which we are shown The Grinch’s childhood and how he was left alone at Christmas, with no friends, no family, no gifts and no love.

Oscar watched this and burst into tears. He’s always been an empathetic little soul, but recently he seems to feel and see things we might filter out. It’s a common misconception of Autism, that it involves an inability to feel. While this may apply to some, my little guy almost seems to feel too much, unable, as I say, to filter these emotions. Hence the sudden flood of tears for a fictional character who is left alone, lonely and sad at Christmas.

Of course I comforted him and assured him we wouldn’t leave him alone and giftless at Christmas (“you’d never do that me would you mummy?”). And while that seemed to help a little, he wanted to check no child would experience Christmas like the little Grinch did. And I had to be honest.

I explained that the saddest thing was that some children do not have the Christmas he knows. There are those who are sad, lonely, hurt and left wanting. He looked at me, his little face crumpling and asked “how can we help?”

It wasn’t the response I was expecting.

So I asked him, what did he think would help. Without hesitation he asked if we could “give them a present”. He took what makes him feel good at Christmas and extrapolated. And for a seven year old receiving a gift trumps any understanding of safety, security and love. I say it overrides them but maybe it actually encompasses them? For him anyway.

So I promised we could do something. And this is where I need your help. When I was a child putting together a shoe box of gifts was the done thing, but in recent years stories have to come light casting doubt on the motivations of organisations involved with such collections. We could give to our local food bank, however we already do and to be honest this doesn’t feel like it would address his need to specifically reach out to a child. I really like the ‘Secret Santa’ campaign Action for Children is running online at the moment, where you can donate a gift (an amount of money that could buy a gift or a meal etc) in the name of someone else.

So I’m reaching out. What would you do? Are there any organisations that give children gifts at Christmas who might not otherwise get one? If you have any suggestions I would be very grateful.

And look, I’m a realist. I realise this kind of giving is just a drop in the ocean of need experienced by families across the world every day. But it has come from such a pure and unexpected place. I can’t not encourage it. I want my son to engage with others and begin to increase his understanding of the world. And if it starts with this small act, so be it.

I know one Christmas present, from one child to another, wont change the world. But a Christmas present, this ‘festive’ season, from one child to another, could mean the world.

The Santa Experience at Marwell Zoo

13/12/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

What do you look for when you take your children to see Santa? With the myriad of opportunities available these days, I like to think it’s getting easier to find one that speaks to all your child’s needs, whatever they are.

For us, it’s important that there’s no pointless hanging around and even less that there’s any queuing. Oscar’s Autism isn’t massively sensorially based, but he does need to be able to move as much as possible and queuing just makes no sense to him (I often wonder if he’s really British at all ðŸ˜‰ Joke!), to the point it can make him anxious. He also struggles to concentrate for long periods of time on one thing, preferring lots of small activities to one big one.

So when we were invited to come and meet Santa at Marwell Zoo the description they gave to us ticked lots of our boxes straight off. No queuing, no pointless hanging around and plenty of activity. It sounded too good an opportunity to pass up.

Meeting Santa at Marwell Zoo is a real event. We’re not talking just chatting to a big man in a red suit and white beard, it’s a whole experience. We were well prepped as to what to expect and couldn’t have had a better time. We arrived at the zoo before our allotted time, which gave us time to go round beforehand. I think Oscar would have been heartbroken if we’d gone all the way to the zoo and not seen the animals, Santa or no Santa, so we were really grateful that our ticket included entrance to the zoo. However, it doesn’t have to be, if you’d rather just visit for the Christmas experience.

We made our way round the park in a loop, ending up at Marwell Hall and ready to start our Santa Experience. The visit was broken into sections, which while very clear, flowed brilliantly:

Join the elves in Magical Marwell Hall and warm yourself with a glass of mulled wine or blackcurrant and a festive treat.

We were welcomed to the perfectly beautiful Marwell Hall, by a team of elves, all dressed to the nines and all who seemed to have been thoroughly briefed on Oscar’s Autism and his needs, which was a wonderfully thoughtful touch. We got our drinks and Oscar had a mince pie before taking a real shine to one of the elves’ outfits. Mistletoe really earned her Nice badge that day by removing her shoes, apron and hat and letting Oscar try them on. Baring in mind this is the boy that doesn’t really do dressing up, he had a whale of a time! He was so happy, it bought a tear to my eye and we hadn’t even seen Santa yet!

Oscar takes a shine to Mistletoe the Elf's uniform. So she gives it to him to wear! — Oscar takes a shine to Mistletoe the Elf’s uniform. So she gives it to him to wear!

To amuse the children while we waited for everyone to arrive there was a touch screen Naughty and Nice list for the children to check, which I though was a really clever touch, especially as the children could find their own names on the Nice list and their favourite super villain on the Naughty list!

Be charmed by Mrs Claus whilst she reads the enchanting tale of â€˜The animals that saved Christmasâ€™

I had explained to the staff beforehand, that Oscar was unlikely to sit and listen to a story. They couldn’t have been more understanding and suggested that we skip that part of the experience if we wanted to. However, on the day we decided to give it a go. The staff were prepared for him to leave at any point, which was very reassuring.

Mrs Claus was waiting for us in a gorgeous ‘woodland grotto’ complete with trees, snow, toadstools and tree stump cushions. She proceeded to read a beautiful Christmas story, set at the zoo and based around the animals, which was a clever touch. And blow me if Oscar didn’t sit with the other children and listen to part of the story. OK, he didn’t make it the whole way through, but by allowing him to move around as and when he needed he lasted for at least 3/4 of the story. It blew my mind!

You're not seeing things. Thats Oscar. Sat on a carpet. with other children. Listening to a story. Regardless of how long that lasted it happened and I couldn't have been prouder. The fact that Mrs Claus was wonderful and read such a cute story may have helped! — You’re not seeing things. That’s Oscar, right in the middle. Sat on a carpet. with other children. Listening to a story. Regardless of how long it lasted, it happened and I couldn’t have been more proud. The fact that Mrs Claus was wonderful and read such a lovely story may have helped!

Create your own Christmas cone tree

If Oscar had surprised me in the previous two sections, how he reacted in the craft based activity amazed me. We were lead into yet another beautifully decorated room, laid out with everything needed to make ice cream cone Christmas Trees. I expected him to just choff the sweets and ignore the craft, but I need to stop underestimating my boy. He sat and happily made a beautiful tree. As did mummy! The elves then wrapped them in cellophane and ribbons and when we were ready lead us to the main event!

Every family was assigned a table to make Cone Christmas Trees. Such concentration!

Meet Santa in his sparkling grotto and receive a special gift

We had agreed with the park beforehand that Oscar would be the first child to go and see Santa, to avoid any prolonged waiting and they were as good as their word. The whole team knew Oscar was to go first and again their communication was much appreciated. We were lead into another room, where Oscar was shown a curtain to pull back to reveal Santa’s grotto. It really was magical! After a quick peek he ran into the room and whilst he didn’t seem blown away by the fact that the big FC was sat there on a throne, he did go and chat with him, after having a look around the room.

Who's through there? — Who’s through there?

I really feel the ‘Santa’ can make or break an experience like this and Marwell’s Santa was fab. He spoke to Oscar like you would expect, but I got the feeling he’d also been briefed on Oscar’s needs as he didn’t seem phased by Oscar’s apparent lack of interest. He didn’t ask for a hug or for Oscar to sit with him (although at one point Oscar chose to go and sit next to him) and he didn’t seem upset when Oscar’s most pressing question was “Where’s the presents?”. Love him. He didn’t mean “wheres my present?” (well not completely), it’s just you very rarely see Santa without presents in books and films do you? And he’s a literal thinker my boy. Santa happily handed over a gift, which we let Oscar open immediately. And when Santa asked for high five, Oscar happily obliged. It was fantastic!

Oscar chose to go and sit with Santa. Even if he didn't want to look at him! — Oscar chose to go and sit with Santa. Even if he didn’t want to look at him!

The only thing I wished I’d done differently was taken the boy camera. Much of the experience was dimly lit and my iPhone photos just don’t do the day justice. We did however purchase two of the official photos of Oscar meeting Santa, which I thought were great value. Both were printed and framed in a carboard sleeve as you would expected, but we were also given hi res digital copies. All for £10.

Oscar opens his first Christmas present of the year (a light sabre and a Star Wars sticker activity book!)

My boy is too cool for school. Who wants to hug Santa when you can High Five!

Thoughts

Would I go back? Totally. If the staff were as understanding and well briefed as this time, I’d be there in a shot. Oscar loves Marwell and has done for years. Who wouldn’t want their child to meet a real childhood icon in their favourite place in the world?

We had such a lovely day and we really did make a whole day of it. Although I do fear it’s kind of ruined shopping centre Santa’s for us for life 😉

Thank you so much to Marwell for the invitation to meet Santa.

I was not paid to write this review and as always all opinions are my own.

How I met Father Christmas – and why I wouldn’t do the same thing for my son

25/11/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

When I was a kid, going to see Father Christmas (because back then he really was just Father Christmas. I’m a bit more interchangeable with what we call him now. Father Christmas, Santa, I don’t really mind, Oscar knows they’re one and the same) was one of the highlights of my year. I can’t tell you how magical it was for me and that was due, in no small part, to the Father Christmas we used to go and see.

If you grew up in or around Coventry in the late 70s/early 80s, I’m guessing you also went to see Father Christmas at the Co-Op, a department store in the city centre. I say that simply because I don’t remember ever going to see him anywhere else. And to be honest I never wanted to go anywhere else. I went with my mum and Nanna (and probably my brother although I don’t remember him being there) and it was almost more exciting than Christmas Day itself. Almost 😉 !

It was super special to me and thousands of others over the years, because you see they didn’t just have a Santa in a chair that you queued up to see, oh no! Before you went anywhere near a guy in a red velvet suit you had to get the sleigh to Lapland. Because you see we weren’t going to see any old Santa in a department store. No, we were travelling to Lapland to see the actual man himself.

My memory of 35(ish) years ago, is some what hazy, but I clearly remember that the experience began with queuing up and being taken through a door into a room. The room was small and dark and lined with benches all facing a wall, in front of which where two (models) reindeer! Once everyone was seated, music and jingle bells would start, as would a projection of moving snow in front of the reindeer. It looked as though they were actually ‘dashing through the snow’. Suddenly we weren’t in just a room, we on a sleigh and we were off to see Father Christmas! My memory also wants to say that the seats moved, tilting as we dashed through the snow, but I honestly can’t see how that could have been and maybe I’m imagining it. Did it?

The most jaw dropping bit of the whole experience for me, was when we ‘arrived. The ‘sleigh’ would stop and we would be shown out of the room, but, and this is the best bit, everything outside the room was different to when we came in. We were in Lapland. As a three and four year old that blew my tiny mind. It was the most exciting part of the whole deal. We had actually traveled to the North Pole! While I’m still not 100% sure how it was accomplished, I’m pretty sure now, that we were just taken out of a different door than we’d come in. But however they achieved it, at the time and for far too many years after I believed we’d actually traveled somewhere. It was truly magical.

After all that seeing Father Christmas was just the icing on the cake. I sat on his lap and got my present wrapped in garish 70’s paper. I smiled for the photo.

1980s child with father christmas — Seeing Father Christmas at the Co-Op, Coventry, circa 1981. Note the reins. Oscar truly is his mothers son! Also who knew Father Christmas wore grey suit trousers under his coat?

Well I did eventually. The first year I was taken I was just one and having none of it. And quite right too. Now I have children I know how frightening that must have been to a one year old. But it’s still gone down in family lore that I wouldn’t sit on Father Christmas’s lap the first time I met him and my mum had to sit in his chair with me instead.

child crying meeting santa — My first visit with Santa circa 1979. I was just one. I look pretty terrified of the man in red. I’m still not a big fan of beards now 😉

Because the whole seeing Santa thing can be overwhelming. The experience I had as a child was so sensorially exclusive. There’s no way I could ask Oscar to do any of what I enjoyed (eventually) as a child. Because we are/were very different children. We have in fact only taken Oscar to see Santa once in his life, when he was 5 months old and it really was more for us as parents than for him.

425669_10152014401300616_324485287_n — Oscar meets Santa in 2012. He wasn’t fooled by the beard. He tried to pull it off minutes after this!

The following year he was already struggling with things such as waiting. And following his Autism diagnosis we stopped even considering putting him through an experience we were pretty sure he wouldn’t understand or appreciate and could cause him great anxiety. Like I said, very different children.

However, as he grows, his capability and understanding grows with him. He’s much more aware this year of who Santa/Father Christmas is and this year for the first time in years we actually feel we want to give him the opportunity to see Santa; for him, rather than for us. It is true that some places are becoming more aware of inclusivity or even just providing a range of experiences to meet all needs when it comes to big events, such as Christmas. Last year I even read about some shopping centres (unfortunately not near us) running Autism friendly Santa grotto experiences, which is fab. All children should be given the opportunity to meet the big guy if they want to. However we have plumped for a very different kind of meeting all together this year, one that hopefully speaks to Oscar’s interests and needs.

Following our fabulous day out on the Watercress Line in the summer we have decided to take him on the Santa Special where you “travel in a festive traditional train carriage, while Santa and his jolly helpers visit you in your seat with a special gift.” I have high hopes for this as it combines two of Oscar’s favourite things in the world; trains and receiving presents! It also removes any need to queue, something Oscar finds so hard to do. It also gives us our own space and we can take toys and snacks to help him if needs be.

I honestly can’t wait. But wait I will have to, because I’ve booked it for Christmas Eve. This may sound bonkers to some of you, but Oscar struggles with the concept of time. My concern was if we saw Santa too soon, he might want his presents NOW, and not cope with having to wait weeks to get them. I could be wrong of course, but that’s AutismMamas for you. Always trying to second guess, always two steps ahead!

Anyway, Christmas Eve it is. Who knows it might work out perfectly and bingo, we’ll have ourselves a new Christmas tradition. I mean it’s not as amazing as actually travelling to Lapland, like I did.

But I think it could still be pretty magical 😉 .

Halfords Black Friday Giveaway

10/11/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Oscar’s Autism meant that he didn’t start using language in any meaningful way until he was 3 and a half. And yet every day since then it seems like he learns another word, grasps another concept, answers another question. For me it’s thrilling. Only last night did he described his book case as a “library”! Asking for things has also been slow to arrive. We focused for the longest time on getting him to express his needs, which he still sometimes struggles with to be honest. So you can imagine, asking for things he wants, verbally, hasn’t been high up on his agenda. Until recently. Suddenly he can tell me when he’s hungry and two weeks ago he told me he wanted a bike. And when your child, who has only just (at four and a half) learnt to sit for long enough in order to learn to pedal, asks you, with words, for a bike, you start looking for a bike. Believe me.

If you follow me on Facebook you’ll have seen I asked my lovely readers where they’d recommend when looking for a first bike, particularly one that was good quality but also value for money. The answer from almost everyone who joined the discussion was Halfords. To be honest I’d completely forgotten Halfords did bikes but I had so many recommendations for them, I couldn’t not check them out online. I had no idea how much a child’s bike cost. Looking around the internet it would appear you can happily pay whatever you like. Bikes are one of those things I think. So I was pleasantly surprised to find the ones at Halfords weren’t crazy expensive.

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Now I don’t know about you, but I love a bargain. I’m the kind of person that takes great pride in finding something I want in the sale. However, I’ve never really got involved with the whole Black Friday thing. The images of people trampling each other to get a cheap telly always left me cold. There’s no bargain on Earth worth that kind of behaviour. But then I saw that, this year, Halfords are having an online Black Friday sale on 25th November. Not a trampling in sight. They are discounting things every day until the main event on 25th and I’m keeping my eyes on the site but I think I’m going to wait for the biggie, the main event on 25th, to be in with a chance of a really decent discount.

Now I love a bargain, but what’s a bigger bargain than free? Alongside their Black Friday discounts Halfords are also running a Black Friday Giveaway. You can enter any time up until 22nd November to be in with a chance of winning one of three prizes of either £2000, £1000 or £500 worth of Halfords goods. That’s a lot of Christmas pressies right there! I’ve put a link to the Halfords Black Friday Giveaway page in the image below.

I’ve entered. And you’ve got until 22nd to do the same! Good luck!

Right, back to looking at bikes. I only hope Oscar doesn’t ask for anything more expensive. Like his own private jet or a Ferrari. If he asked me with words, I’d probably get it for him!

This is a collaborative post.