Judgement Day…..

I’ve never used to be a massive fan Twitter. I tried on and off for years to get into it, but it just didn’t seem to make any sense to me, until recently. In the past I’ve found it to be a confusing jumble of noise, but now I am finding it to be a great way to connect with people outside my friendship group (particularly when it comes to other bloggers etc). I used to hate that it just seemed so negative, and I guess that largely depends on who you follow, but recently I see much more positivity and thought provoking ideas coming through. Which is great.

Doesn’t mean I don’t see stuff that grinds my gears once in a while.

I’m a parent. No really I am – I know it’s a shocker right 😉 . I work damn hard at what I do. I stumble and make mistakes. Sometimes I get it right, other times spectacularly wrong. I think, if you looked up the definition of parenting in the dictionary, that would be pretty much what you read. No one is perfect and no one gets it right all of the time. Some people choose to do it that way, others another. What works for Mummy A, sure as hell wont work for Mummy B, or even in some cases child 2 of Mummy A! And for those reasons and the fact that we all know how hard this can be, it upsets me when mothers openly and harshly judge other mothers.

Sure, you may not agree with something someone does to or with their children, but if it worries you that much, talk to the parent. You may not fully understand the reasoning behind their actions. To simply judge someone as a ‘crap parent’ is both rude and uncalled for, especially when you may have questionable parenting styles yourself. You may not think you do, but others might.

I think it’s easy for non-parents to judge. They can take a much more objective view of things, without a cloudy layer of personal experience spoiling the perfect view on top. And that’s fine. Let them. If and when they have their own children, they’ll soon realise those were halcyon days, when they were absolutely right about every aspect of parenting. But when you do have that experience, when you understand those eternal conundrums, that have kept people mystified for thousands of years, also known as children, then don’t dump all over someone who doesn’t do it like you would. There’s such an arrogance in that behaviour that I can’t even comprehend. Who gives you the right to judge?

I’m not talking about serious neglect or abuse here. Sometimes it’s people making those judgements that save children’s lives. What I am talking about is parents berating each other over the small stuff – like mother A spending less time with her child than mother B or mother B letting her kids watch more telly than mother A. And I certainly wouldn’t be putting my half arsed opinions all over social media. That would just make me look like a dick.

I don’t know about you, but I want my son to grow up a decent human being. One who shows tolerance and understanding wherever possible. I don’t want him to jump to conclusions; poorly structured, unconsidered conclusions, about anyone, least of all his peers. I want him to be independent of thought and to go with his instincts, but I do not want him to malign others who go a different way to him. How on earth can I teach him that if I don’t practice it myself? Perhaps not everyone wants their child to grow up with the same values as me. And going on what I’ve just said, I don’t judge you for that.

I still don’t want to see your thoughtless negativity on my Twitter feed though.

Unfollow lady, unfollow.




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