Family

End of an era

21/07/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

So here I am. Sat in my favourite Haslemere haunt. My plans for today much the same as the plans I’ve had most days since Oscar started preschool 19 months ago. Drink coffee, write words, catch up on social media. You know, stuff.

But today is different. In as much as it is the same, it really is different. Today is Oscar’s last day at preschool. They are having a big party in a local park tomorrow, but as far as walking him to the scout hut, dropping him off, and walking away, to any one of the local coffee hangouts, but more likely than not Dylan’s, alone, well this is the end.

I’ve cried this morning. I honestly surprised myself. I didn’t think I’d feel just so, well, sad. But I do. Wrapping the chocolates and writing the cards for his Keyworker and TA was hard. I guess that’s what happens when you leave these things to the last minute (typical me)!

Wrapped gifts

He felt it. Of course he did, he always does. He picks up emotions in the air like the smell of freshly baked bread. And it affects him. He cried and told me he was “sad”. That he was “crying from my eyes”. But he couldn’t tell me why. He doesn’t understand that he won’t be going back to his nursery again, and I don’t really know how to make him understand. I’ve all sorts of exprience of preparing him for things that are coming up, that are yet to be, but no idea how to explain the things that won’t be anymore.

The walk to preschool was harder than usual, but he ran in just as happy as ever. I feel like I should give him that. One last day when it’s all ok, all the same. Maybe I’ll regret not trying to prep him better somewhere down the line, but at the moment, for who he is now and what I know about him, this is the right way.

Myself, I thought I was prepared. I’ve been counting down the weeks, for weeks. And now here I am. And all that prep has made no difference. Because as much as it’s his last day, it’s kind of my last day too. The end of an era, the end of my routine. I will never be a preschool mum again. And while that is my choice, and a choice I still stand by, I didn’t realise it how sad it would make me feel. How lonely.

But I owe it to him to focus on the positive. So happy last day at preschool my beautiful boy. Let’s concentrate on the fun we’ll have this summer and the awesome school you’re starting in September. And mummy promises not to let you see her cry.

Much. Thank you card from Gin Bunny Prints

The Mummy Tag

07/06/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

I have been tagged by my gorgeous friend Maria over at Suburban Mum to do the Mummy Tag post. The idea behind it is to answer these questions and to find out more about the blogger behind the writing, as mums and as people!

So, without further ado, this is me:

1. Are you a Stay at Home Mum or a Working Mum?

Stay At Home. I have been since Oscar was born. It wasn’t planned that way. I fully intended to go back after my mat leave finished, but we couldn’t make it work financially. Daycare (at least where I live) is ridiculously expensive. It took me a long time to come to terms with not earning my own income.

2. Would you have it any other way?

Even though I struggled terribly with the idea of giving up work, I am glad I’ve been able to be here for his early years and I like to think it meant I was able to jump on the situation when Oscar’s development clearly wasn’t matching that of his peers. Now that he has a diagnosis of Autism, it’s been good for him that I can be around consistently and focus on getting him the best support possible.

However, to be honest, I do have days where I still miss going out to work dreadfully. People keep asking whether I’ll go back to work once he’s in school, and if he didn’t have the issues he does I may well look into it, but it seems cruel to put him through all the changes at school to only change everything at home too! So for now I plan to use that time to focus on my blog more. And whatever happens in the future will always have to fit around Oscar.

3. Do you co-sleep?

No, never. Not even when he was tiny. I was sent home from hospital absolutely petrified of falling asleep and squashing him. They really did one on me. I wish I hadn’t been so scared. But do you know, he won’t even try and get in with us now, even if I offer, so I maybe it wouldn’t have worked for him anyway. He likes his own space and he’s a good sleeper. I like to think that’s partly due to us starting good bedtime habits very early on.

4. What is your one must-have item for your baby?

My baby is four now, but as I don’t drive, something I wouldn’t have been without from day one was a decent buggy. We’ve had two buggies in our time. We started with the Mothercare My3, which we used as a pram for the early days and then mama facing for nearly a year. He grew out of that when he was about 20 months old so we switched to a OutnAbout 360. And good god I love that buggy. It doesn’t do mama facing, so I wouldn’t have wanted it when he was tiny, but I love how much sense everything about it makes. It’s so manoeuvrable and has a tiny turning circle for such a big bit of kit. And it folds down really flat! It’s also tough and up to the job of a feisty boy, which is lucky as Oscar’s Autism has meant we’ve used it a lot longer than we anticipated. He’s nearly 3 stone, but the 360 still keeps going. Yep, I wouldn’t have been without a decent buggy for all the tea in China!

The OutnAbout 360 in all its new glory. Doesn't look quite this clean now! — The OutnAbout 360 in all its new glory. Doesn’t look quite this clean now!

5. How many kids do you plan on having?

Just the one. You can read a who post about my thoughts on families who chose to have only one child here.

6. Date nights? How often do you have them?

We love a night out and so try to arrange one whenever we remember and or can book our lovely babysitter. Not having family close by means no free babysitting, but we still occasionally need to go out of the house together without the boy so make the effort to book and pay someone. We don’t have a regular date night though – I think that would kind of take the fun out of it!

7. Your childâ€™s favourite show?

Honestly, it changes every week, sometimes every day! He will always have a soft spot for Thomas the Tank though.

8. Name one thing you bought before you had the baby and never ended up using?

A very expensive Organic Merino Wool swaddle and hat. It was beautiful, but Oscar refused to be swaddled from day two. It was such a shame. We managed to get one picture of him in it and that was it. I sold it in the end!

9. Your childâ€™s favourite food?

Other than chocolate? At the moment Pancakes or Jacket Potato.

10. How many cars does your family have?

One. I don’t drive, although I am currently learning. Once I pass my test (whenever that may be), we’ll definitely have to get an additional vehicle!

11. Weight gain, before pregnancy, during, after and now?

I was seriously overweight before my pregnancy, I always have been. During my pregnancy I actually lost a stone and half in the first two trimesters as my tastes changed completely. However, in his first year, I found it so hard to concentrate on anything and lived on toast. ALLLLL the toast. And cake. And gained huge amounts of weight. I joined Slimming World when he was 1 and originally managed to lose 6.5 stone. After his Autism diagnosis I struggled to stay on plan and gained some of the weight back, but I’m back trying again now. Weight is complex issue for me, but I’ve blogged about that a lot and that’s been incredibly helpful.

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12. Dream holiday with your kids?

My husband and I used to love going to the Greek islands, particularly the quieter islands, before we had Oscar. It was always our plan to take our child over there once we had one, but so far we’ve not been brave enough to fly with him. But I would dearly love to one day.

13. Dream holiday without your kids?

Ben and I had our honeymoon in the Maldives and it was the best holiday of my life. I’d love to go back. But to be honest I would be happy anywhere I could have a break from being a mum for a few days. Especially if it involves a spa and being proper looked after by an amazing hotel.

14. How has your life changed since having kids?

What a strange question. Surely it would be easier to answer what has stayed the same. To which my answer would be, errr, I still like black winged eyeliner?

15. Finish this sentence: â€œIt makes my heart melt whenâ€¦â€

Oscar calls my name. His speech delay meant I didn’t hear the word mummy until he was three and half, so any time he calls me is special. Even at 6 in the morning. I might seem grumpy, but inside I’m melting!

16. Where do you shop for your kids?

When he was younger, most of his clothing would be second hand, either hand me downs, or from eBay or Facebook or NCT Nearly New Sales. However as they get older they get harder on their clothes and in the last year or so I’ve found it more difficult to find him decent second hand stuff. So now I’d say most of his clothes come from Next. Their clothes seem to last and last and because he’s skinny and tall I find their fit suits him too. They also sell on well (if he doesn’t trash them). Other than that I get him occasional pieces in the sales of brands such as Joules or Boden or if I can I love supporting small businesses I find on Instagram.

My happy boy in his Magnificent Stanley original.

17. Favourite make-up and skincare products?

My make up bag is such a hodge podge of brands, but I must admit I do love MAC (particularly for foundation and blusher). When I remember to use it (which is sporadically at the best of time) my favourite cleanser is Liz Earle’s Hot Cloth Cleanser.

18. Huggies or Pampers?

Pampers all the way. We didn’t get on with Huggies at all despite buying some in his early days. When they discontinued the nappies when he was about 1ish (I think) I wasn’t surprised. Love Huggies wipes though!

19. Have you always wanted kids?

Yes always and when I was told in my early 30s that I had PCOS and might struggle to conceive I was heart broken. As it was it took us no time at all, which I will forever be thankful for.

20. Best part of being a mum?

Being the parent of a SEN child is seriously hard work. Physically and emotionally. But it has also taught me real appreciation. When Oscar does something we didn’t think had could (or would), even if it’s something small like holding my hand when he’s asked, my heart nearly bursts with pride and love. I’m also amazed by the people you meet being a mum and the friends I’ve made since having Oscar, both online and in real life, are some of the best things about motherhood.

I would like to tag/nominate

Catie over at Diary of an Imperfect Mum

Natalie over at Diary of an Unexpectant Mother

Alice over at Three Men a Little Lady and Me

If they’d like to join in I’d love to read their answers

Our Favourite Five – May 2016

27/05/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

The summer is well and truly under way in our part of the world. And this is what the Savage family have been enjoying this month.

1 Eurovision

Of course! What else could start a list of things my family has enjoyed in May? My husband put the televised song competition in our shared diaries as soon as the date was released! This year we found out our neighbours were as bonkers about the show as we are, so invited them to come down and watch it with us. It’s so much fun sharing the madness with someone else. Although to be honest, there was a lot less crazy in Eurovision this year. Much more slick and a little bit less fun for it unfortunately (I mean Justin Timberlake, while the votes were counted? Seriously? Sigh) Anywho, we had a lovely time just hanging out, drinking wine and commenting. Much as we all agreed we like Graham Norton as host, we were also in agreement that we miss Terry Wogan getting gently sloshed and more acerbic as the evening went on. And as a fitting tribute to the man, who died earlier this year, we were sure to raise a glass of his favourite tipple at song number 9 (his personal cue to start the evening’s drinking). It was an emotional moment. And yes, tears were shed!

2 Ribs

Whenever I used to have friends over, pre Oscar, my go to choice of food was always ribs. They never failed to please, but I haven’t made them for years. So, I decided to do them for our Eurovision shindig. In the past I have always marinated the ribs overnight (a Nigella recipe) and then baked them in the oven. What a faff! This time I decided to utilise my slow cooker and boy were they a massive hit! Tender and juicy and sticky and delicious. And so much easier to make. I bought the ribs from the butcher instead of the supermarket for a start and that made such a difference. They were so much bigger and had so much more meat on them! Then I just chucked them in the slow cooker with the following ingredients. Blooming gorgeous!

Spicy BBQ Ribs

1 X 500g bottle of BBQ Sauce (I used a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray Barbecue Sauce)
50g of brown sugar
4 tbsp of cider vinegar
3 tsp of oregano
1 tbsp of Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp of cayenne pepper
1 tsp of chilli powder
1.3 lbs of pork ribs (I got a rack from our local butcher who cut them into individual ribs for me)
Salt & pepper

Combine the bbq sauce, brown sugar, cider vinegar, oregano, Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, and chilli powder in a bowl.
Salt and pepper the ribs. Place ribs in slow cooker, and cover in sauce. Cook on low for eight hours or high for four hours
Devour.

I served them with coleslaw, roasted new potatoes and sweetcorn.

No, they weren’t Slimming World in any way, but saved for a special occasion, I’ll definitely be doing these beauties again. Only I may have to make double quantity next time! Yum!

3 M&S Food Hall

A month or so ago Haslemere got it’s very own M&S Food Hall. Regardless of your opinion about whether our town needed a M&S Food Hall, you can’t deny that their food is good quality and often different to what’s on offer in the ubiquitous chain supermarkets (one of which is just over the road if you’re that bothered by it). I’ve found myself popping in throughout May. I bought some of the nicest and biggest (they were a ‘King’ variety) Strawberries I’ve ever had, to take to a friends house, a beautiful bouquet to say a big thank you to a neighbour, and on days when it’s all been a bit much and I need somewhere to take five, I am happy to admit I’ve been Found wandering their aisles. I’m not saying I’d get my weekly shop there, I wouldn’t. But for occasional nice ‘bits’, it’s been a boon.

The M&S Haslemere Coffee Shop has made a nice occasional change.

4 Our deck

I’ve mentioned before that our garden is bigger than our house and as soon as the sun came out at the beginning of May, we were straight out there, tidying up the garden for the summer season. We have a long lawn, but a few years ago we also built (with the help of some very kind friends) a deck. Big enough to take a decent table and chair set, it’s becoming my favourite part of the garden. It’s definitely where I spend most of my time out there, so this month I’ve been adding a few sweet little touches. Cushions for the chairs, a parasol, a wall mounted planter and wild flowers in a jar have all made this corner of the garden a lovely little nook for eating, writing and just hanging out!

Bright, comfy cushions from Sainsbury’s.

Bluebells and rosemary, all picked from the garden.

Is this not the cutest planter you've ever seen? A perfect spot for my Thyme and Oregano — Is this not the cutest planter you’ve ever seen? A perfect spot for my Thyme and Oregano.

I wanted a cream parasol, but picked up the wrong box in Homebase. Hey ho! Oscar doesn’t care and asks me to put the ‘umberella’ up as soon as the sun comes out!

5 Driving Lessons

I wrote about learning to drive a few weeks ago (you can read about why I don’t already have a licence here). It’s been a big part of May for me, although to be honest I’m not sure I’d call it a ‘favourite’ as such. It’s hard learning a new skill any time in your life, but the older you get the harder it is (not my words, words of clever science type people in white coats) and I am finding it hard. But every week I’m noticing little things improving and my anxiety (which behind the wheel has been at a spectacular all time high) slowly fall. Slowly. I’ve done four lessons and now I have a two week break. I only hope I don’t forget everything in that time!

What have been your family favourites this month? I’d love to know!

What to do with your Preschoolers Artwork

27/04/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

When Oscar started preschool back in January 2015, I was adamant I would keep and display any artwork he came home with. Within the first week he came home with enough daubs to wallpaper the house. I had no idea what dross the nursery would consider his art and pass on to me to deal with! OK, maybe that’s a bit harsh, some of it is beautiful in its own right. I actually do have one of his first paintings on the stair wall. I was struck by how much like a Japanese scroll it looked and I love displaying it. But seriously, most of it is enormous pieces of A3 size paper with a couple of splashes of paint on it. And quite quickly I realised these rolls of “art” we’re going to take over my house if I kept them all.

So last summer I came up with various way to use his art. Some of it I used as wrapping paper. This went down a storm with the recipients but the paper the nursery use is quite thick and wrapping with it was physically difficult. However, if you can manage it I highly recommend it. It looks wonderfully effective, particularly when tied with string. Some of it I did actually display. I had a mind to display one new piece a week, in a sort of gallery, but he brings home sooooooo much, that it didn’t really work as a thing. I gave some to grandparents and great grandparents, but again it did nothing to even dent the pile I had growing in the conservatory. And so that’s when I came up with the idea of consolidating it.

It worked so well and the resultant gift was so gratefully received that when the art work started to build up again this year, I decided to do the same again.

Just two terms worth of preschool artwork. Each roll has several pieces of A3 paper, some with just a few strokes.

You will need a way to cut the artwork (I use my Scotch Saftey Cutter), plain A4 paper and glue. — You will need: a tonne of toddler paintings, a way to cut the artwork (I use my Scotch Safety Cutter), plain A4 paper and glue.

Start by cutting the artwork into strips.

I like to cut across the lines, so you can still see the strokes. — I like to cut across the line of paint, so you can still see the brush strokes.

Start gluing them on the paper in a haphazard manner. The idea is to build up layer of colour. — Start gluing the strips onto the A4 paper in a haphazard manner. The idea is to build up layers of colour.

Glue the pieces so they lie over the edge of the paper — Glue the strips so they over lap the edge of the paper

Like so. When you feel you have enough colour you can trim these pieces off — Like so. When you feel you have enough colour you can trim the excess off

Et voila, one massive pile of art, is now one cool piece of design.

Now you can either frame it, which is what Ben’s mum did with the piece I made for her last summer. Or I am also thinking you could cut out shapes from the newly created artwork and frame those on a white background. Oscar loves fish at the moment and fish shapes cut out of this would look awesome in his room.

What do you do with all the artwork your children bring home? I’m always looking for new ideas!

Our Favourite Five – March 2016

05/04/2016 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

I know, I know, March has been over for nearly a week already. Where does the time go? Here are just some of the things Family Savage have been loving in March 2016!

1 Holidays

March for us was largely focussed on Easter and going down to Plymouth to stay in the same apartment we stayed in at Christmas. Our plan was to spend some time as a family in our childhood home town and to also celebrate Oscar’s birthday (a week early). And did we ever. You’re never sure if staying in a place that was brilliant before, will be so good a second time. But this time, at least, it was just as awesome.

The beautiful view from our apartment in the Royal William Yard, Plymouth

On the top of South Hessary Tor, Dartmoor

Jellyfish at The National Marine Aquarium, Plymouth

I even had a night on the town with my good buddy Helen!

We watched the boats in the marina, we went walking up on the Dartmoor, we had take-out Wagamamas (twice!), we visited the Aquarium, we celebrated Oscar’s birthday and we saw all the people we love. It was only a short break but it was wonderful. And leaving was just as hard as it was at Christmas!

2 Cybex

I’ve known that Oscar was growing out of his Maxi Cosi Axiss car seat for a while now, but I was so desperate to keep him in the harness style seat for as long as possible, that I kind of ignored it. I was convinced he’d just undo a plain old seat belt. Anyway we recently realised we were having to force Oscar’s shoulders under the headrest to get him in and that the buckle between his legs was starting to strain. I had to capitulate. He needed a bigger seat.

So after extensive research, both online and talking to other parents we decided to go with the Solution M-Fix by the German company Cybex. We just felt it looked more like a seat than some of the more open style ones. More comfortable and more protective.

The Solution M-Fix by Cybex. His big boy car seat

When it arrived I was so impressed – it was really lovely. But I couldn’t get over how big it looked. It should last him until he’s 12 (apparently), and the first time he travelled in it I could see how much more space he had. But it also made me realise how big he is getting. And how much he’s not my little baby any more 🙁

Too grown up for his own good in his Cybex car seat

I have to say though he’s loving the space the seat affords him. And he’s never once tried to undo the seat belt! Although he has worked out that he can lean forward in it and pull the belt loose. What can I say, its a work in progress!

3 Just Being Me T-shirt

Last year a lady I met through Instagram, Chrissy, collaborated with the illustrator Cheryl Rawlings to produce two t-shirts to raise money for The National Autistic Society. The charity is one close to my heart obviously, but also to Chrissy’s as her daughter Esme is also autistic. I desperately tried to get hold of one of the tees for Oscar last year, but they sold out in record time and despite them having more printed I just wasn’t able to get one.

Anyway this year Chrissy decided to reproduce the t-shirts under her new company Raspberries and Raindrops. Proceeds now go towards her daughters private ABA therapy. I was thrilled I could finally get one for Oscar. I’m not a big fan of ‘Autismwear’. I don’t agree our children need branding. But I love the sentiment of this one. Because it’s all Oscar ever is; just being him! You can find this t-shirt at Raspberries and Raindrops

Oscar just being him in his gorgeous Raspberries and Raindrops tshirt — Oscar just being his gorgeous self in his Raspberries and Raindrops tshirt

4 Royal William Bakery

We discovered the Royal William Bakery when we stayed at the Royal William Yard at Christmas and were so excited to go back again when we returned this Easter. It’s such a wonderful place. The food is superb and generous (croissants as big as yer ‘ed anyone?) and the staff relaxed, knowledgeable and friendly. I love their ethos of ‘talking’ and building relationships. The seating is all benches and the service, well you have to get in that kitchen and talk to the chefs. And there are no ‘bills’, you have to talk to the staff when you’re ready to pay and tell them what you had. I know this might make some people uncomfortable, but I think it’s awesome.

Seating in the Royal William Bakery is designed to start a conversation.

When we visited over Easter the guys in the kitchen were really helpful in selecting the right loaf of bread for Oscar’s party, keeping it to one side fresh out of the oven. And I can seriously tell you it was some of the most delicious bread I have ever tasted and not a scrap was left by the end of the day. We love the Royal William Bakery and wish we lived closer (even if our waistbands are grateful that we don’t)! If you’re anywhere near Plymouth, I urge you to pop down to visit them. Especially for breakfast!

Royal William Bakery sourdough. Picture from Royal William Bakery

5 Joules Knitted Poncho

At the very end of February, I had a day on my own shopping in Guildford. As I am want to do in these situations I sidled along to Joules, just to have a little look you understand, nothing more. While I was doing just that, I happened to brush up against a poncho. Grey, cable knit, chunky as you like and oh so soft. It’s definitely not something I would normally look at. For one I am highly sensitive to wool and most commercial knitted garments make me want to scratch my skin off within minutes. And really it’s just not my usual style (whatever that is!). Any who I looked at it, thought how lovely it was and moved on. Then, I went back. I decided as I was on my own and with time on my hands, I’d try it, just to ‘see’.

Joules Tessa Poncho. I have to say I thought it looked better on me than on their model ;) — Joules Tessa Poncho. I have to say I thought it looked better on me than on their model 😉

Well I was slightly bowled over by how much I loved it. Although it did have a small wool content, I tried it on with only a vest underneath and it didn’t make me itch once. I was in love. Only trouble was the price. I knew I needed other stuff that day so I sadly put it back on the hanger and carried on. Problem was I couldn’t stop thinking about it and a few days later decided if I used my freelancing money and a discount code Joules cleverly sent me, I could just about afford it. So I ordered it online. And I’ve worn it pretty much every day since! It was the best purchase I’ve made in ages. I wear it everywhere and with anything. I really do think it was worth every penny. A friend of mine recently was able to get a navy version in the sale (clever girl), but on closer inspection, neither are available on the website now. They may still be available in the shops though 🙂

12512478_1036135889763180_7792424483701118805_n — So excited when it first arrived!

2016-04-05 (2) — My lovely poncho – it really does go with anything

What have you been up to this month? Anything you’ve fallen head over heels with? I’d love to hear all about it!

I was not paid to endorse any of these brands. I paid for all my favourites myself. I just like sharing the things I love.