Slimming World Update – Week 84

Hey guys

Sorry for not being around last week. I’m not really sure why I didn’t blog last week, I didn’t have a terrible weigh in or anything. In fact I maintained again. But, I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling it. Like any of it. Not really sure why. I had a positive Friday and then the rest of the week seemed to descend into darkness. Negativity topped with a swirl of self destructive behaviour. Its not just that I didn’t count my sysns, I activity went out looking for syns. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like that, I can tell you. And to be honest I thought I was stronger than that now. Just goes to show huh? We’re all vulnerable, we’re all human. We all feel and we all have times when we do the ‘wrong’ thing. But then there is a school of thought that says you can’t do the wrong thing, that everything you do right now, is right. Even if it seems wrong, what have you taken from it, learnt from it? I also subscribe heavily to the idea of choice. That we all, always, have a choice. That no one makes you feel anything without your permission. I made the choice to let myself feel the way I did and eat the things I did and behave the way I did. No one else was in control. I could tell you how hard I’ve found looking after Oscar this week etc etc, but at the end of the day no one ate that bread for me. I chose to let myself fall sideways, the consequence of which was a 4lb gain and another lesson learnt.

C’est la vie.

Some days I wonder if it’s worth it, whether I can be bothered and what’s it all for. Some days, nearly two years on, I still have to fight with myself. Some days I get sick of trying, of thinking about food, of the energy it takes. Some days I don’t win. Then some days I do. Last week I got a new pair of jeans. You may remember I needed new jeans before Christmas but couldn’t find any I liked. I find it really hard to find jeans as I’m not a typical female shape. I’m relatively straight and narrow through the hip with a surprisingly small bum for my size! I carry most of my weight across my stomach, meaning I need a wider waist than hip (think ice cream cone!) so when I find a shape of jean that fits and flatters I am loyal to it for life. I was distraught when Next changed the material (and possibly the cut) of my favourite Relaxed Skinny jeans last year, however so were a lot of other women. I like to think the disgruntled customers were heeded as the composition of the material has changed again this season, with much more cotton making all the difference. I bought the size 14 I’ve been hankering after and blow me if they weren’t too big. Now I will point out at this stage in the proceedings that this is something to do with the cut of the jeans. The fact that I had to try, nay purchase, the size 12 bears no resemblance to my size in real life. Seriously. But they fit and I’m happy with that.

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I also had something of a surprise in group this week. I was awarded Greatest Loser 2015 for the 7.30 group. On a week where I’d had such a gain I felt something of a fraud collecting it, but then that’s what this award is all about. It’s not about what happened today or even last week, it’s about a collective effort over many weeks and months. I didn’t feel I deserved it on the night (which is possibly why I look so pinch faced in the photo) and I worry about celebrating what I’ve achieved sometimes as I might start resting on my laurels too much and becoming complacent. It’s all stuff no one tells you about a long term weight loss journey I guess!

Such a Loser ;)

Such a Loser 😉

I’m sorry if I sound a bit miserable at the moment. It’s been a real pisser of a week for a million reasons, but the boy is back at preschool now, I’ve got a new week ahead of me and on Saturday I get to see my great friends and wonderful family as I leave my son and spend the night away, just being a grown up. I’ve just got a frock for the occasion too. I can’t wait to show it to you. But let’s just say it’s very flattering, very fitted and a size 16. Go me!

Hope all our weeks are good ones, including mine.

Here’s to putting ‘Fuck it February’ to bed and starting on ‘Make it Happen March’ xxx

Slimming World Update – Week 71

Hi you!

Despite being able to say ‘bye bye, see you soon’ for a while now Oscar has only just started to say Hello, and this is how he says it. It’s the cutest thing!

So how’s your week been? Mine been good, properly cold, but good none the less. I explained last week that I was making a gamey take on Chilli, using (free and speed food) Venison for dinner with friends on Friday. And I did. Only I think the Venison was off! It was fresh when purchased, but I froze it. I then think I defrosted it (i.e. left it out of the fridge) for too long. It smelt really odd raw, and smelt worse as it cooked! It also tasted of kidneys – you know, slightly pissy! I was gutted. I mean I’d definitely try it again, only I think I’d buy the meat closer to making the dish. Anyway, rather than poison our guests we wrote the whole thing off and because we had neither the time or the ingredients to prepare anything else, got take out. It wasn’t how I planned the evening to go, but as I’d been being careful with my syns (with the wine I knew would be drunk on Friday in mind) I decided not to worry about it too much. So Friday was one of those nights where suddenly everything is ‘off plan’. Food, wine, even a few chocolates. And boy did we all enjoy it. Nearly as much as Sarah and I enjoyed beating the boys at Cranium. Games Nights are so the way ahead for a fun night in! I highly recommend it.

So any who I wasn’t hopeful in ANY way for last night’s weigh in, but was bowled sideways to see I’d lost 0.5lb taking me back to 6 Stone 7lb. Who knew!

I spoke last week about the jeans situation and after writing about it decided to take the plunge and order the next size down. I got the size 14 (eek!) in the Next Relaxed Skinny Jeans that I’ve been wearing since the 18 started to fit me last year. I love these jeans and have had both the 18 and the 16. They suit my shape so well and despite having some stretch retain their jeansyness (real word) Or they did. Because I received them last Friday and immediately realised Next have changed the material. A quick check on the composition shows the new pair had less cotton in them and felt more like jeggings. And they looked awful! Way too big. Now you think I’d be pleased that a 14 was too big, but I wasn’t. I was gutted. I don’t know about you ladies (you may feel this too chaps!) but it takes me a good while to find a pair of jeans I like and when I do I wear them forever! It’s so good to be able to pick up a new pair whenever you need them, knowing they’ll fit. So yeah I was gutted. Anyway I took them back to Next and while we were there I tried on several different pairs. All in a 14. And do you know, all but one pair fitted! Size 14 jeans fitted me! Sorry, can I just take a moment here:

SIZE 14 JEANS FIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ridiculous turn-ups, but bloody hell, the size 14 fit!

Ridiculous turn-ups, but bloody hell, the size 14 fit!

No hoofage to be seen!

My thighs! Seriously? Yes seriously?

Right. So yeah several pairs fitted, but none were perfect. One had enormous turn-ups I didn’t like and one had no pockets (not practical I keep all sorts in my pockets at all times including my phone). Ahh well it would seem the search goes on. With the changes that have taken place to my shape recently, I think I need a day in town, sans child, to try some on. Hmm.

And as I mentioned last week, those changes have recently been thanks to the Core Stability classes I’m doing with Fit for Life Mums. And look what I got last night:

Body Magic Silver Award

Body Magic Silver Award

Proving to myself that the relatively small changes I’m seeing on the scales, sometimes mean nothing to a change in shape. And outlook. I love my classes and it’s giving me the nudge to think about doing more exercise. Yeah I know. Me! I’ll let you know!

So for the coming week, we have no parties or such challenges. So I’m going to give a real serious push towards 7 Stone (Tish – can I borrow the food diary for the week you lost 8.5lb please? 😉 ). I have 4 more weigh ins (last one being on 23rd, not 17th as I originally thought) before Christmas. Come on Mrs S. You can DO this.

Have a great week entering the Christmas month with head held high and resolve held firm.

xxxxx

 

 

Slimming World Update – Week 39

Hello!

How’s your week been? Mine could have been better but hey it could have been worse and I’m getting a bit sick of looking at the lows every week, when there’s also highs to talk about! I’ve really struggled to find the motivation to stay focussed this week, but on the other hand I’ve eaten some great ‘on plan’ meals and hung out with some top friends. So yeah the snacking’s been a bitch this week, but I’ve started this year’s tan off. This week could have practically been a Slimming World write off but I’ve helped out friends and discovered new local parks. I got told the gall stones I have really mean my gall bladder needs removing, but I’ve also watched my son play pee-po with a friend’s baby completely unprompted. Sometimes I think it’s about the setting of your emotional compass more than anything – which way do you want to view things? You have to make a choice.

And this week I choose to see the good.

I wasn’t hopefully for weigh in this Thursday – seriously. In fact I actually prep’d my entire speech as to why I’d had a gain – even started to plan this weeks post in my head. But I lost 0.5lb. Weird huh? That makes a total loss of 5 stone 5lb (75lb).

I was so surprised I barely knew what to say when it came to me in group. So I was asked how I felt now my consultant at Liphook had left. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this here before, partly because when it happened a few weeks ago, we all discussed how it was the members who make a group and not the consultant. And I was down with that concept. But the dynamic has changed, regardless of what anyone said. People have stopped staying to group, some faces have left altogether, new ones have joined. The consultant we have now is temporary cover. Regardless of what Zoe said before she left, it has made a difference. And it was nice to get that off my chest. I know that ultimately my motivation lies with me and I can’t use things like this as an excuse, but it was good to discuss it and I appreciated the space in which to do it. Cheers Sara for that. What this means for my choice of group moving forward I’m not sure. It’s really given me something to think about though.

Anyway!!!! Staying with the theme of choosing to see the good I have had several hints as to how well I’m doing in the last week. I’ve explained before that the numbers on the scales are invaluable, but its the physical signs that make the real difference to me.

1) I’ve had to tighten my Birkenstocks.

I love my Birkenstocks and spend my summers in them every year. Last years pair are starting to look a bit battered and I could really do with a new pair, but I realised this week that they’re too wide now. I’ve had to take them down a notch. Did you know you could loose weight off your feet?

My battered, beloved, Birkenstocks

My battered, beloved, Birkenstocks

2) I’ve had to have my glasses adjusted.

I had to get my eyes tested last Saturday – it’d been two years and actually my prescription has really changed, for the first time in years. Anyway while I was there I asked if they could take a look at my glasses as they were constantly slipping forward and sitting in the bridge of my nose – so much so that I was getting a line! They did and said they were far too big. They readjusted the arms and also had to put new, bigger pads (is that what they’re called) in the nose rest. Did you know you could loose weight from your nose?

glasses

Did you know you could lose weight from your nose?

3) I’ve had to get more bras

Despite forking out a fortune in November for some beautiful undergarments with the structural capacity to hold up the Empire State Building, I have found myself feeling less and less comfortable in the past few weeks so decided to get refitted. I chose Bravissimo this time, for two reasons. 1) they are a hide sight cheaper that the wonderful but cripplingly expensive Rigby & Peller and 2) I’ve never found bras to fits my back size in there before and wondered if I might now. I did – up to two back sizes down from the Rigby bras! Same cup size though – these ladies would appear to be with me for the duration!

The lovely Guildford branch of Bravissimo

The lovely Guildford branch of Bravissimo

4) I bought a new pair of jeans

I love my relaxed skinny Next jeans. In fact they are probably one of the things I am most proud of about this journey. And last week I bought the next size down – a size 16. They are snug don’t get me wrong, but they fit (Ben agrees no embarrassing “hoofage” to be seen). I continue to be especially proud of them and I actually don’t know when I last owned size 16 jeans – seriously.

Size 16. Honestly a 16! Eek!

Size 16. Honestly a 16! Eek!

In a week, 0.5lb can seem like such a small number. Had I had a better week and lost 0.5lb I might have been annoyed or downhearted. As it happens I was thrilled, but I have been there before. The numbers in isolation can seem so important yet can sometimes give us so little satisfaction. So I try to focus on other things, tangible things to keep me going. Moving the belt (or a sandal 😉 ) up a notch, catching a glimpse of myself and having to do a double take, noticing my collar bone. It’s not an easy journey, but these are the things that will get me through.

So the plan for the coming week? This is not the easiest of weeks. Easter, well it’s like Christmas isn’t it? So yes we’ve done what we did at Christmas and bought one beautiful egg between us. I can’t wait for Sunday! But I’ve really thought about it. I’ve chosen to do this and I intend to enjoy it. I know I said I wanted to lose 7lb by the beginning of May, but at the moment if I can keep going at all, then I’m happy. This week I’m going for a maintain. That’s my choice and I’m happy with that.

Have an amazing Easter people.

xxx