We recently realised we don’t really take Oscar to many places. It’s not that we consciously avoid taking him out, but I think him being at preschool most of the week and me not driving has meant we’ve fallen into a bit of a rut of keeping everything to what we know. Park, town, shops, farmers market, Cecily’s house. It’s not a vast list is it? Maybe we have been avoiding taking him out. And that’s not fair. Because actually I think we’re more frightened of what might happen than anything that actually has happened. And what’s the point in being afeared of the thought of something?

Anyway last week Ben had the week off work. It was during term time, so Oscar was still going to preschool in the mornings, but buoyed by the support of another adult and access to a car gave me the courage to suggest we try some new stuff. And I’m so, so glad I did.

Last Tuesday saw us meet with the Educational Psychologist who is going to be assessing what kind of support Oscar will need when going to big school next year. We haven’t had the report yet, but as much in our lives, I was more worried about what the meeting would be than what it actually was. To celebrate the fact that it was done and that particular ball was rolling, we decided to try taking Oscar out for lunch straight from nursery. This was a pretty big deal. We used to eat out quite a bit but haven’t since he became too big for being strapped into the highchair. We went to ASK in Haslemere, a restaurant he always loved in the past. Much as with everything at the moment, we went expecting the best, but totally prepared for the worst.

And he surprised us all.

This. Exactly this.

This. Exactly this.


Sitting. And eating.

Sitting. And eating!


Lying down is the way ahead

Lying down is the way ahead. As is holding hands with daddy.

Don’t get me wrong, we were on the edge of our seats the whole time we were there, but boy oh boy did he do bloody brilliantly.

So following this success, we decided to do something we’ve fancied for ages. On Wednesday afternoon we went to Winchester Science Centre (previously INTEC). Its a 45 minute drive from our house and of course he fell asleep in the car. Balls I thought, well this isn’t going to work now is it? Turns out I should shut up and stop making assumptions. We woke him up and carried him in, a little bit dopey but not once did he get upset. And when he saw just how much stuff there was to touch. Well, that was it, he was off. He went from one thing to the next to the next, pulling levers and pushing buttons. It didn’t matter to him that he hadn’t a clue what any of it was about. He could play with it and that was enough. And we just tried to keep up.

Oscar at the controls!

Oscar at the controls! Gawd save us 😉 !

We were there for an hour and a half. And he didn’t stop. But when it came to leave, we told him what was going on and he came with us. No arguments, no melt downs. And he walked, holding my hand, all the way to the car and climbed in. It. Was. AWESOME!

My champ!

My champ!

But the best part of the day for me was that he came running up to us three times in that hour and half and said to us “happy”. Oscar’s language gets better and better as the weeks and months go by and he can tell us when he’s “sad”, but rarely does he verbally express joy. It was worth going just for that.

I know I need to be braver. My instinct is still to avoid busy times (such as the holidays), but I need to face up to the fact that sometimes it’s going to work and sometimes it won’t and be comfortable with that. I’m doing him a disservice by keeping him from trying things just because I assume he won’t enjoy it. So this week (and while I’ve had the back up of a visiting friends), we’ve been doing just that. Being brave. And he’s getting better and better at waiting, holding hands, sitting and eating.

Of course I say ‘better’. Maybe he’s been able to do it for ages? And that makes me feel a little bit bad. But really that’s outweighed by how awesome I feel looking at these pictures. You might get excited by trying new and exciting days out and activities. For me, my heart leaps when he can sit. Autism will do that to you.

Sitting in Dylans, eating an enire ice cream and COLOURING! His artwork is now hanging up with the other childrens :)

Sitting in Dylan’s, eating an entire ice cream and COLOURING! His artwork is now hanging up with the other childrens 🙂


A trip to Sainsburys. BLew. My. Mind. Waiting, holding hands, eating cool calm and collected. Phew!

A trip to Sainsbury’s. Blew. My. Mind. Waiting, holding hands, eating. Cool, calm and collected. What a guy!

I know not every outing will end so successfully. I’m not niave. But these did. And I want to shout it from the rooftops.

I’m so, so proud.


Diary of an imperfect mum

Slimming World Update – Week 63


Another week another post. Not a particularly exciting one this week I’m afraid. I have some pretty serious stuff going on in my life right now. I don’t want to go into it any further, but suffice to say that whilst I really want to keeping writing, I can’t quite face being the perky, shiny, happy, positive peep you normally find here at the moment. Sorry.


I had an unusual week last week. Ben’s mum came to visit and very kindly offered to babysit, meaning Ben and I got to go out on our own for the first time since February. We went to ASK Italian in Haslemere and for the first time since I started SW, back in July 2013. I had a pizza. Actually I had olives, some bread, pizza AND profiteroles. And wine. So much wine (which thankfully didn’t give me a headache!)


Vegetarian Pizza with rocket. Getting that superfree in there 😉

So much wine!

So much wine!

So when I saw I gained 1.5lb this week I was thrilled. Thrilled it wasn’t more! It’s still a total of 6 Stone 4lb and I had a wonderful evening. It was worth it and I’m still on track to reach 7 stone by Christmas (just).

To finish (told you it wasn’t very interesting) I wanted to share this picture. I’ve not shared the side view picture I took in Oct 2013 before as it was just too awful, but look at the difference today – 4 Stone 7lb difference to be exact. Whenever I’ve wanted to feel dissapointed in my choices this week I’ve looked at this.

Oct 2013 to Sept 2014

Oct 2013 to Sept 2014


Have a great week.