Shopping

More than just shopping

02/03/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

So last week was a bitch. Apologies if that offends you but I seriously can’t think of a better word to describe it. I’m not sure if it was that Oscar was struggling with being off preschool. The week before had been half term and while he seemed to cope ok with that, this past Monday he had to miss it again, while he had his Speech and Language assessment at my favourite place, Royal Surrey County Hospital. So maybe it was that? Or maybe he was just sick of the sight of me and bored out of his mind. Either way the pair of us just seemed to spend the week miserable. By the time Friday rolled around and it was time for him to go back to preschool we both cheered as we arrived. One day I hope to enjoy my child’s school holidays, but for now I enjoyed it most when it was over.

So anyway last week left me feeling completely battered and in serious need of some time alone. It just so happens that next Saturday we have a weekend away in Devon to celebrate the 60th wedding anniversary of Ben’s maternal grandparents, and blow me if I didn’t need a new dress for the occasion. It’s been a while since I went actual clothes shopping. I mean yeah I got my new jeans recently and the occasional top, but it’s mainly been online or a ‘run in run out while the boys wait in the car’ job. And while it can achieve the same objectives, it just really isn’t the same.

So Saturday morning found me up and ready pretty early. I got the train to Guildford and made the decision on the way, to challenge myself. Since losing over 6 stone, clothes shopping has become much more fun that it ever was, but I do tend to gravitate to stores I know and feel comfortable in. And while I don’t think this is wholly unusual, I decided on Saturday that enough was enough! I was going to go in AND try things on in at least two shops I’d always been too scared to go in before. I mean it sounds rediculous. Who was ever afraid of a shop? I admit I was. But no more.

My first stop was a new Phase Eight store that has opened since my last trip to Guildford. I would never normally go somewhere so dressy, but it was a dress I was looking for, plus I’ve never been there before making it the first of my two ‘new stores’. While their stock was lovely, some of it was much more mother of the bride than I was looking for. I did try a black and white shift dress on, however even in the 18 it squashed my boobs flat – no mean feat in itself. I left, but not disheartened. I was thrilled I’d gone in and tried anything on at all. Sad I know!

The second shop was faithful old Monsoon. You may remember I got my dress for Ben’s Christmas party 2013 there, when I’d been losing weight for less than 6 months. I was thrilled that day to fit into a size 22 and wore that dress with such pride I was bursting (and not out of the dress!!) This time however I tried on a beautiful lace dress in a size 16! I was just as proud, but this time knew I had more possibilities to try. That while this was a beautiful frock, what if there were others out there I could fit in to? Other beautiful dresses still to try on. I left it behind the counter, just in case, and carried on.

The socks really set this Monsoon dress off dontcha think?

Took me days to notice, but my sister in law pointed out how clear my collar bone is here!

And carry on I did. I checked out Jigsaw and Jack Wills, having been in neither shop before, although I didn’t try anything on as neither had anything that spoke to me. I then tried on three dresses in my beloved Joules, but none were right. I remained too scared to go into LK Bennet, but I think that had more to do with the price tag. What if I fell in love with something and just couldn’t afford it? I decided it was just best to move on!!

I’d been in Anthropologie several times before, in fact I discovered it in the States in 2008 and bought a beautiful leather handbag there, but I’d never bothered to look at their clothes. The biggest size they’d had in anything was a 16, so I’d never had reason to. Before now. Granted a lot of it was not my style. A bit on the Hipster side. And very expensive. I did find one dress in a print I adored, but luckily they didn’t have my size (I just couldn’t have justified the £148 price tag).

Dress in Anthropologie. Not in my size luckily

But I did try on a couple of things. A grey midi dress with a slash neck and long sleeves (just not me at all) and this shirt. Oh my god this shirt. How gorgeous is this shirt? At home I’m Mama Bear and here I was depicted on a shirt with my Daddy bear and cub! I loved it. And had it fitted better on the bust I’d have paid the £68 they were asking for it. In fact the more I think about it the more I’m tempted to go back and make it fit 😉 !

It seemed my bust was just against me on Saturday. Nearly everything I tried on was scuppered by my double Fs. I tried on a gorgeous spotty dress in Cath Kidston that, even in a 16, wouldn’t go anywhere near me. Clearly Ms Kidston cuts her clothes for those with a much smaller cup size. I didn’t leave too disheartened though. I did purchase 2.5 meters of the cutest fabric. I’ll have me a Cath Kidston dress even if I have to make it myself*

(*I’m not making it, my amazingly talented husband is. Is there anything this guy can’t turn his hand too. Website one day, summer dress the next!)

So taking into account the boob situation I decided to give Pepperberry another whirl. You may remember last year I had no luck at all in the store where everything is cut to fit different chest sizes. Either nothing fitted or the styles were all wrong. But I’m all for second chances, so went in and grabbed a couple I liked the look of. I tried the first one on and that was that. I just knew this was the one. It made me giggle and smile and well you just know don’t you? It’s smart enough for a celebration meal, not not so smart that I look like I’m going to work, fancy enough to feel special, but not so fancy I look like I’m off to meet the queen and sassy enough to suit me, but not so sassy I look inappropriate! And the best bit was the size, a 16, but cut generously over the boobs. Means it can be fitted, but without restricting my lung capacity!! And I already have shoes and a bag to match, so all in all it’s perfect!

I promise I will post a picture of me wearing it after the event, but you know me, I like to keep a special dress for the special day. If you really can’t wait, here’s a picture of the dress on the Pepperberry site.

I spent the rest of the afternoon, well just happy, I guess. Relaxed and a little bit giddy at the same time. I bought a couple more bits in some old faithful shops. Jeans and sweater for Oscar in Next, some soap and shower gel in Lush. If you follow me on social media, you’ll now how much I lamented the come back of 90s fashion everywhere. Man, I wish I’d kept all my teenage wardrobe, I’d be making a killing on eBay right now. And if you ever wore a choker back in the day, guess what, they’re in again. Dig them out, you’ll be right on point! You shouldn’t laugh, but I couldn’t help myself! I went in Topshop for the first time in 19 years and funnily enough very little had changed! Did you know DUNGAREES were back in fashion, god love us!

But then I realised I hadn’t technically achieved my goal for the day. I’d been in new shops and I’d tried on clothes in familiar shops for the first time, but I needed to bring the two together one more time to complete my challenge. Which is how I came to try on a fabulous coat in Mango. In fact I liked a lot of the stuff in Mango and despite it being a shop I have literally never been in, I definitely would again. Ahh well, next time.

(And did you know Mango had a plus size section on their website? No me neither! Wonder if it’s new. Typical, now I don’t need it!)

Not normally into text on t shirts, but I really liked this

I may not have had a great week last week, and my weight loss motivation may have been stalling recently, but a day alone, fitting into clothes I’d never dreamt would fit, in stores I was too scared to go in, well it’s cheered me up more than any cake could do. And the feeling of achievement I came home with has seen me through this week too. I wish I could afford to do it more often! I just can’t wait to wear my beautiful Pepperberry dress on Saturday.

I’ll let you know how it goes down with la familia.

xxx

Slimming World Update – Week 84

28/02/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hey guys

Sorry for not being around last week. I’m not really sure why I didn’t blog last week, I didn’t have a terrible weigh in or anything. In fact I maintained again. But, I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling it. Like any of it. Not really sure why. I had a positive Friday and then the rest of the week seemed to descend into darkness. Negativity topped with a swirl of self destructive behaviour. Its not just that I didn’t count my sysns, I activity went out looking for syns. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like that, I can tell you. And to be honest I thought I was stronger than that now. Just goes to show huh? We’re all vulnerable, we’re all human. We all feel and we all have times when we do the ‘wrong’ thing. But then there is a school of thought that says you can’t do the wrong thing, that everything you do right now, is right. Even if it seems wrong, what have you taken from it, learnt from it? I also subscribe heavily to the idea of choice. That we all, always, have a choice. That no one makes you feel anything without your permission. I made the choice to let myself feel the way I did and eat the things I did and behave the way I did. No one else was in control. I could tell you how hard I’ve found looking after Oscar this week etc etc, but at the end of the day no one ate that bread for me. I chose to let myself fall sideways, the consequence of which was a 4lb gain and another lesson learnt.

C’est la vie.

Some days I wonder if it’s worth it, whether I can be bothered and what’s it all for. Some days, nearly two years on, I still have to fight with myself. Some days I get sick of trying, of thinking about food, of the energy it takes. Some days I don’t win. Then some days I do. Last week I got a new pair of jeans. You may remember I needed new jeans before Christmas but couldn’t find any I liked. I find it really hard to find jeans as I’m not a typical female shape. I’m relatively straight and narrow through the hip with a surprisingly small bum for my size! I carry most of my weight across my stomach, meaning I need a wider waist than hip (think ice cream cone!) so when I find a shape of jean that fits and flatters I am loyal to it for life. I was distraught when Next changed the material (and possibly the cut) of my favourite Relaxed Skinny jeans last year, however so were a lot of other women. I like to think the disgruntled customers were heeded as the composition of the material has changed again this season, with much more cotton making all the difference. I bought the size 14 I’ve been hankering after and blow me if they weren’t too big. Now I will point out at this stage in the proceedings that this is something to do with the cut of the jeans. The fact that I had to try, nay purchase, the size 12 bears no resemblance to my size in real life. Seriously. But they fit and I’m happy with that.

I also had something of a surprise in group this week. I was awarded Greatest Loser 2015 for the 7.30 group. On a week where I’d had such a gain I felt something of a fraud collecting it, but then that’s what this award is all about. It’s not about what happened today or even last week, it’s about a collective effort over many weeks and months. I didn’t feel I deserved it on the night (which is possibly why I look so pinch faced in the photo) and I worry about celebrating what I’ve achieved sometimes as I might start resting on my laurels too much and becoming complacent. It’s all stuff no one tells you about a long term weight loss journey I guess!

I’m sorry if I sound a bit miserable at the moment. It’s been a real pisser of a week for a million reasons, but the boy is back at preschool now, I’ve got a new week ahead of me and on Saturday I get to see my great friends and wonderful family as I leave my son and spend the night away, just being a grown up. I’ve just got a frock for the occasion too. I can’t wait to show it to you. But let’s just say it’s very flattering, very fitted and a size 16. Go me!

Hope all our weeks are good ones, including mine.

Here’s to putting ‘Fuck it February’ to bed and starting on ‘Make it Happen March’ xxx

Slimming World Update – Week 82

12/02/2015 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi chaps

How has this week gone for you? If you’re anything like a large proportion of my group last night, its been a tricky one! I don’t know what it is, maybe its the cold weather or the feeling of deep winter, with no view of summer in sight? Either way I know a lot of people have been struggling with life, let alone a weight loss journey. And I can count myself among them.

The last week has been such a week of contradictions. My meals have often been wonderful. Smack on plan and completely food optimised. I’ve tried new recipes and used ingredients I’ve never cooked before. We had Cottage Pie one night, a recipe from the Slimming World Lifeline Online. It had kale mixed through it, which I’ve only ever eaten as crisps before. It was delicious, although next time I wont be mixing fromage frais through the mashed potato. It just didn’t work for me. I also made my interpretation of a friend’s Quinoa, Bean and Tuna Salad recipe. I used dried quinoa, rather than the ready cooked packets. As with a lot of things, cooking it from scratch makes it a free food (the packets often have syns, some as many as 6.5, which is fine if you have the syns to spare and want something lightening quick) and it was so easy to cook, I have no idea why I’ve never tried it before. I’ll definitely be making it again but possibly with less beans and tuna. The quinoa has such a nice flavour it would have been nice to be able to taste it a little more!

My first attempt at non packet Cottage Pie with carrots and broccoli. Delicious!

But then there’s been the cookies. We discovered last week that Oscar loves (and I mean loves) baking. It’s such a fabulous past time and helps with his attention and speech. However it does also result in delicious cookies. And I have been tempted more than once (or twice or three times 😉 ). I meant to send them off to work with Ben, but somehow they ended up staying in the house! School boy error I suppose. Then there were other lapses, when eating with friends or trying to recover from the mother of all crappy mornings. But for the most part these were choices I made, knowingly and with full understanding of what I was doing and why. And I did chose reduced fat cheese on my pizza! 😉

So last night’s maintain was thoroughly OK with me. I was astonished I didn’t gain if truth be told. So I remain at 6 stone 6lb lost.

Anyway I came home from group last night to the news that I’ve got an important family occasion to attend in three weeks time. Ben’s grandparents are celebrating their 60th (60! I know! Amazing!) Wedding Anniversary and have invited us to join them for a meal and an overnight stay at Buckland Tout Saints in Devon. Its such a lovely idea and I cant wait to see the family again. It does of course mean I’ll need a nice new frock to wear. And that’s got my mind firmly back in the game! Shopping always does! Hahaha only joking, it’s the thought of being able to walk in, proud and confident, at least a stone lighter than the last time I saw them. And I’m going to use that visualisation to help me this week. I do have a night out with the girls on Friday, but I’ve already decided on various strategies to minimize any impact that could have, including eating an early dinner at home before going out and sticking to long drinks such as Spritzers.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

Have a great week, wearing your very best positive pants (eh Sara? 😉 )

Slimming World Update – Week 72

04/12/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi guys

Hows you? I’m good. Surrounded by the colours and sounds and general excitement of the festive season and pretty much loving it! I’ve spent the last few days writing Christmas cards. I tried not sending cards one one year and just donated to charity instead. Don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate the sentiment behind it, but it made me feel awful. So I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m a card writer and I get great cards every year, carefully chosen from charities that mean something to me. This year’s are Thomas the Tank Engine themed (for the boy) and come from the National Autistic Society. They’re just gorgeous! Anyway I did have an Excel spreadsheet as a Christmas card list that I’ve been using and regularly updating for years. Until this year. We bought a new PC in the summer and I forgot to transfer the list onto the new hard drive. Sat down to write the cards this week and I realised I’ve lost my ‘go to’ list! So at least one night this week has been just spent updating my contacts. I think I have them all now, but if you were expecting a card from me and you don’t get one, I might have just missed you off the list. Either that or I don’t really like you 😉

Christmas has also been making it presence felt in our house this week in the form of new pyjamas. If you follow me on any social media, you may already know this; to say I was excited was an understatement. Regular readers will know just how much I love shopping these days, how one of my goals this year was to ‘conquer Fat Face’ (which I think I can safely say I’ve done several times over 😉 ). However, something I really wanted from them, but had never been able to fit into before, was their Christmas pyjamas. They do such beautifully festive ones every year. So this year I decided to treat myself and ordered their Folkloric pyjama bottoms and tshirt. And I LOVE them. If it wasn’t a tradition to wear new pyjamas on Christmas Eve I’d be wearing them already! They’re just so pretty and Christmassy.

But the best thing about them is the difference I can see in my shape when I wear them. You may think I’m barmy, but I sometimes find it really hard to ‘see’ what I look like. In my mind I’ve been so big for so long that despite what the scales say or what I see in the mirror, I find it hard to know what I actually look like. That’s why I do comparison photos and why they blow my mind so very much. This one is quite hard for me to share. The first picture I have never shared as I hated it then and I hate it now. But I’ve got so few full length photos of myself that it’s the best one to use here, I think. This was taken in the Maldives in 2009. Its a few years ago for sure, but I was a similar size to this when I started SW (actually I was probably a bit bigger 🙁 ) Basically a Size 26 to a 16.

Wowsers!

Enough said really.

This past week hasn’t always seen me make the wisest of food choices – nothing mad, just not the best and I’m not really sure why. So I was thrilled with a maintain last night, staying at 6 Stone 7lb (91lb) lost. And actually, this close to Christmas and the challenges it can bring, I think that’s sometimes all you can do. Protect the progress you’ve made. I have thought about it long and hard and I think expecting 7lbs loss in 3 weeks with all the parties and what not I have over the next few weeks is unrealistic and probably just setting myself up for disappointment (and lets be honest, feeling a failure is no gift to give myself this Christmas). That’s why I’m modifying my Christmas goal. And before you say, I’m not stopping or giving up or admitting defeat. I’m taking responsibility for my choices and being realistic. I would like a lose a couple more lbs by the last weigh in, but as long as I don’t gain from this point until Christmas I’ll be happy.

Oh and update on the Fat Face shirt – I went in to my local branch to try it on again and they’d taken them all off the shop floor as they’ll be going in the sale after Christmas. I decided to chance my arm and wait until then and hope they have my size. I do love a bargain!

Have a great week.

xxxx

Slimming World Update – Week 71

27/11/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi you!

Despite being able to say ‘bye bye, see you soon’ for a while now Oscar has only just started to say Hello, and this is how he says it. It’s the cutest thing!

So how’s your week been? Mine been good, properly cold, but good none the less. I explained last week that I was making a gamey take on Chilli, using (free and speed food) Venison for dinner with friends on Friday. And I did. Only I think the Venison was off! It was fresh when purchased, but I froze it. I then think I defrosted it (i.e. left it out of the fridge) for too long. It smelt really odd raw, and smelt worse as it cooked! It also tasted of kidneys – you know, slightly pissy! I was gutted. I mean I’d definitely try it again, only I think I’d buy the meat closer to making the dish. Anyway, rather than poison our guests we wrote the whole thing off and because we had neither the time or the ingredients to prepare anything else, got take out. It wasn’t how I planned the evening to go, but as I’d been being careful with my syns (with the wine I knew would be drunk on Friday in mind) I decided not to worry about it too much. So Friday was one of those nights where suddenly everything is ‘off plan’. Food, wine, even a few chocolates. And boy did we all enjoy it. Nearly as much as Sarah and I enjoyed beating the boys at Cranium. Games Nights are so the way ahead for a fun night in! I highly recommend it.

So any who I wasn’t hopeful in ANY way for last night’s weigh in, but was bowled sideways to see I’d lost 0.5lb taking me back to 6 Stone 7lb. Who knew!

I spoke last week about the jeans situation and after writing about it decided to take the plunge and order the next size down. I got the size 14 (eek!) in the Next Relaxed Skinny Jeans that I’ve been wearing since the 18 started to fit me last year. I love these jeans and have had both the 18 and the 16. They suit my shape so well and despite having some stretch retain their jeansyness (real word) Or they did. Because I received them last Friday and immediately realised Next have changed the material. A quick check on the composition shows the new pair had less cotton in them and felt more like jeggings. And they looked awful! Way too big. Now you think I’d be pleased that a 14 was too big, but I wasn’t. I was gutted. I don’t know about you ladies (you may feel this too chaps!) but it takes me a good while to find a pair of jeans I like and when I do I wear them forever! It’s so good to be able to pick up a new pair whenever you need them, knowing they’ll fit. So yeah I was gutted. Anyway I took them back to Next and while we were there I tried on several different pairs. All in a 14. And do you know, all but one pair fitted! Size 14 jeans fitted me! Sorry, can I just take a moment here:

SIZE 14 JEANS FIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ridiculous turn-ups, but bloody hell, the size 14 fit!

No hoofage to be seen! — My thighs! Seriously? Yes seriously?

Right. So yeah several pairs fitted, but none were perfect. One had enormous turn-ups I didn’t like and one had no pockets (not practical I keep all sorts in my pockets at all times including my phone). Ahh well it would seem the search goes on. With the changes that have taken place to my shape recently, I think I need a day in town, sans child, to try some on. Hmm.

And as I mentioned last week, those changes have recently been thanks to the Core Stability classes I’m doing with Fit for Life Mums. And look what I got last night:

Proving to myself that the relatively small changes I’m seeing on the scales, sometimes mean nothing to a change in shape. And outlook. I love my classes and it’s giving me the nudge to think about doing more exercise. Yeah I know. Me! I’ll let you know!

So for the coming week, we have no parties or such challenges. So I’m going to give a real serious push towards 7 Stone (Tish – can I borrow the food diary for the week you lost 8.5lb please? 😉 ). I have 4 more weigh ins (last one being on 23rd, not 17th as I originally thought) before Christmas. Come on Mrs S. You can DO this.

Have a great week entering the Christmas month with head held high and resolve held firm.

xxxxx