Slimming World – Page 21

Hello there

I say hello, as I know there are people reading this now!! EEK! Sharing my small but very personal corner of the bloggersphere with the wide world was more nerve wracking than I can explain, so I’d like to say thank you for the beautiful comments I’ve received.

Sharing in this way, opening yourself up and saying “here I am” is petrifying for me. An extrovert by nature this shouldn’t be the case, should it? But we all have a little guy who sits on a chair in our heads, wearing old janitor clothes, saying, “now then, don’t say that/do that/think that/be that”, don’t they? Or is that just me! We self censor ourselves, most of the time for the good of humanity, but sometimes it to the detriment of our very being. Sharing can make you vulnerable and open to judgement, but it can also open you up to new experiences and greater understanding.

So the comments I got were a gift to my confidence, but also a gift to those who read my words and got some understanding from me. Or a laugh. Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then.

OK, so that was deep!

In terms of my SW (Slimming world) journey I havent had the best of weeks and although I had a great weekend, with old (as in known a long time, not as in age. Oh hang on….;) friends visiting. I also found myself with my first real test since starting. I had planned ahead, and knew exactly what I was planning to eat, but forgot to factor in desserts. Ended up falling back on old favourites, which I think will have derailed me a little this week. However it was useful as it highlighted where my weak spots are and helped me move forward with that knowledge in mind.

Weigh in tonight, I guess we’ll just have to see.

I wanted to write a quick post about something that’s important in my life at the moment as I feel its likely to come up often in my writing soon.

I have recently started attending a Slimming World group.

I know its not a big deal for some, but for others its a mammoth task, both to start the journey and to admit they’re doing so. A couple of people know I’m doing this, and I don’t have a problem with people finding out, I’ve just not offered the information out there. I am rather want to compartmentalise my life (such as not mixing groups of friends etc), so maybe that’s why. Or maybe it’s fear. I do remember thinking when I started,”I wont put it on FB til I’ve lost Xlb etc, that way if I fail I’m the only one who knows about it”. Wheres the joy in that? Am I ashamed? Am I really that sure I’ll fail? And if so am I ready for this journey? I’ve been going for three weeks and already I’m starting to see a difference. I’ve lost 1/2 stone, (7lbs) which in the grand scheme of how much I really have to lose is such a small amount, but I’m choosing to look at it as a positive achievement either way.

I’ve been to “diet” groups before and did pretty well on them. However, I have since gained all the weight I lost (over time). Consequences have enabled me to be lazy, or even to believe my excuses. Funnily enough while I was pregnant with Oscar I actually lost weight in my first two trimesters – my body went in to healthy overdrive and craved fruit and lost any interest in refined sugar. I couldn’t even watch Bake Off that year as it made me feel sick! So it seems I can do it. My body knows what it needs, so it would appear my weight gain has largely been caused by my head. And I think when it comes down to it, most seriously overweight/obese people would agree with me.

Which brings me back to why I have chosen not to tell people this is what I’m doing. The reasons are cerebral, not logical. I don’t do it because my emotional mind tells me it’s protecting me. Well yeah and the same mind told me that after I had Oscar I could eat what I wanted, cos I’d just had a baby and I deserved it. That kind of thinking helped me put on 2 stone in the year AFTER I had my baby. Who the hell puts on weight after a pregnancy?!

So any way I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t keep spinning these excuses and happily believing them. I had to do something about it. I have read lots of interviews with slimming mothers and they all seem to say they’re doing in for their children, but do you know, I’m not doing this for Oscar, I am really doing this for myself. For one thing, my group meets on a Tuesday night. Its a opportunity for me to get out of the house without him. Does that sound terrible? Meh – so what if you think it does. I take my motivation where I can find it and this is one massive motivator for me at the moment.

So am I going to tell people? I’ve always found being accountable is one of the best ways of staying motivated, so maybe I should. I’ve told total strangers, but can’t tell my best friends. Whats that all about?!

We’ll see…..