Soft Play

The Twos

17/09/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

The terrible twos. They really are terrible. In fact, I’d go as far as to say they suck. Big time. Not just for me, but for him too. We had something of an epic fail in the past week, one behavioural disaster after another. Some weeks are just like that I guess. It started with a return to toddler group after the summer break. Hammer is big, it’s noisy and it’s busier than a branch of Next on the first day of the sale. It’s full on, always has been. In the past he’s been OK with it, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. Last week was not a good week. Then there was a failed trip to the Hen House. Meh, it happens I guess. It’s this ‘pushing’ phase that’s doing my nut. I know it’s his way (whether right or wrong) of expressing himself (“you’re in my space/touching my stuff/touching stuff I deem to be mine because I glanced at it 20 minutes ago and I don’t like it”). It’s not malicious. But other people don’t see that. They just glare and in some cases admonish me for his behaviour. His speech delayed, frustrated, two year old behaviour. Sigh.

So what do I do? Seriously? Much of the advice given by official channels is to ignore bad behaviour (er not always possible, especially in public when it’s involving other children) and getting them to talk through their feelings (hmmm can we park that one for now?), in fact much of the advice just seems to be ‘well yeah, this is going to happen and you gotta ride it out best you can honey, sorry. We’ll talk again when he’s three, OK?’. My initial reaction on Friday was to never take him out again. Ever. Again. We’ll just stay in I thought. He wont meet other children, but that way he can’t push them (his modus operadi) and no one will look at me like I’ve pissed in the punch!

I’m not serious of course. What would that teach him? Nada, nothing, zip! I know that really. Just some days, I feel like I’m walking a tightrope. Blindfold. With my hands tied behind my back. Whilst reciting Chaucer (I really hated Chaucer at A’level). Sometimes I’m just so tired to my bones with all this worry and indecision and feeling just not quite good enough, that the path of least resistance just starts to look mighty appealing.

Yeah, the last week was not a good week.

But then, actually, wasn’t it? Thursday, Friday and Saturday could have been better. Sure. Things could have gone more the way I wanted them to, but ya’ know, no one died. And Sunday’s trip to Alice Holt and Tuesday’s trip to The Hen House, whilst embarked upon with gritted teeth, worked out amazingly well. No pushing, minimal squealing, making friends and laughing like a loon (him not me. Well a bit me 😉 )

And then there’s the speech. The delay in Oscar’s speech is, I feel, impacting greatly on his behaviour, but guess what? Those pesky little words are starting to emerge. Slowly, and in a really peculiar order, but in the last week my boy suddenly has something of a vocabulary. It’s a mixtures of single words like ‘ready’, ‘water’, ‘more’ and ‘flower’ and then even some short phrases like ‘another one’ and ‘I don’t want to’! Whether they ‘stick’ and he continues to use them regularly is yet to be seen (apologies for my cautious tone, but we’ve been here before. Said bear four times in one day, never said it again) but in a week when everything was dreadful, actually it wasn’t at all. He even has a name for me now! I’m Nuhnuh. Just when you think it couldn’t be worse, it suddenly isn’t. That’s the twos for you.

The terrible, terrifying, wonderful twos.

What’s made you proud today?

26/08/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

I’m conscious that there are things Oscar clearly loves and others he’s not so keen on, but I’m also aware that he’s a toddler and fickle as you like. What works today, wont work tomorrow as it were. So while it might be easy for me to avoid things he hasn’t enjoyed in the past, it’s also somewhat lazy (and if I always did this we could end up doing nothing). He could change his mind about an acticity any day, so it only makes sense for me to give him periodic access to the things he hasn’t enjoyed previously. It’s like me with olives and Edam (now love olives, still can’t stand Edam)

This is how we found ourselves at a Top Banana craft session this morning. We’ve attended various courses and sessions run by our good friend Lana, some have worked for us and some haven’t. This morning was craft based fun, so playdough, painting, sticking and colouring. Seriously what’s not to like? It was a pretty safe bet. Only thing was the class was being held in his favourite place, The Hen House and previous attempts at getting him to focus on something in the party room, when there is all that free ranging soft play the other side of the door have failed dramatically.

So it was with some trepidation that I took him this morning.We arrived a little early, to give him a chance to play as he wanted to, and as Lana really kindly emailed us the list of activities to me last night, I took some time to tell him what was going to happen. And I’m happy to say it wasn’t a disaster. He played with the playdoh for a while and then made a snail, sticking small pieces of card to a paper plate. He’s not used glue before and I think we’ll definitely be investing in some for home!

This morning's Top Banana Snail — This morning’s Top Banana Snail

All in all he lasted 20 minutes of an hour class. I could have tried to hold him in the room, when he really didn’t want to be there any more, but who would have gained from that? I’d given him the access I planned to and it actually wasn’t as awful as it could have been. It didn’t stop me feeling deflated afterwards, sitting alone drinking my coffee. Then I realised I was focussing on what he hadn’t done, when really I should be focussing on what he had done. Which was more than I thought he would. Positive thinking is quite a new thing for me. A year ago, I would have totally just focussed on what we hadn’t achieved. But now, I don’t know, that just feels pointless. Seriously what’s the point on focussing on what wasn’t there? Something that didn’t ever exist? When there’s this concrete thing in front of me, something that does exist?

It’s not always easy and yeah sometimes I still wish he’d do stuff other kids do (or what I think they do – who I am to say what they do is better?). But for now I’m focussing on what he does do. What IS there.

Which today was a feeling of pride and a snail.

The Hen House – an update

03/06/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

If you are a regular reader you’ll know that several months ago I had a meeting with Henri Paterson, the power house behind The Hen House, the latest excitement in Haslemere. We talked about her vision for this new take on soft play and I wrote about it here. To date it’s one of my most popular posts and is still being read practically every day. On the back of this post, I was then asked to write the copy for The Hen House website, which is now up and running. I’m not a professional copy writer, so I was extremely flattered to have been asked. I was paid for that job, but I can assure you I have not been paid to write this or any other post about The Hen House. The opinions here are all my own. Promise.

If this were just a review I could tell you about prices and times etc, but all that information can be found on their website which I urge you to take a look at! But this is more than that. It’s my interpretation of what this place is or could be for local parents. It’s my opinion based on my experiences. You may not agree, you may have had a different experience. And that’s fine. This is just how I see it.

So, back in April I told you what I knew about the plans for this exciting, and desperately needed new venture. But I couldn’t tell you how it actually worked or whether it was actually any good, as it wasn’t yet open. That changed at the beginning of May. We couldn’t wait to get into the place and find out what this new facility actually meant for us.

Our first visit was on the day after it opened and just as I imagined it would be, it was heaving. It was like the whole mummy population of Haslemere and the surrounding area had heeded the jungle drums, scooped up their toddlers and headed on over. But Wow! I went with my NCT group and we were all so impressed. The children practically threw themselves in joyful abandon at the play frame and squealed with delight at the numerous ride on cars, my favourite of which is the truck. I wish I’d known this chap existed back in April,when we were choosing Oscar’s birthday presents! Everything was just so (pardon the gushing) gorgeous! Yes we couldn’t get a seat but we didn’t care (we got one eventually). We were just as in enamoured as the children – or at least I was. The only thing that I couldn’t get my head round was the letting Oscar run around freely. Partly because it was just so alien to me. But also I spent the whole time looking to check he wasn’t near the gate, as I saw one or two children force it so hard they’d got their heads through and I knew if my son took it upon himself, he’d be able to force his entire body through. Thankfully the gate has since been reinforced, but it’s definitely something they need to keep an eye on. I don’t think the Hen House realised how strong toddlers on a mission could be!

That first visit has turned out to be one of many. Too many some might argue. Oscar just loves it there. We’ve been in the week, just the two of us, or with friends (we now reserve a table if there’s going to be a group of us). We’ve been at the weekend with Daddy (Ben was just as keen to check it out as I was and was impressed enough to say he’d take Oscar down on his own – one day 😉 ). Its a venue that seems to lend itself to so many occasions. We’ve had playdates there and attended classes. I’ve drunk copious amounts of (great) coffee and Oscar’s chowed down on fresh sandwiches, tried hummus and eaten a carbonara he loved so much I worried he may actually dive in. I haven’t eaten there myself, (apart from a piece of Red Velvet Cake which you can read about here), as most of the food available, while gorgeous and fresh and locally sourced, doesn’t really fit with the SW plan (the panini’ s look amazing – sigh). I’d love to see more healthy snacks for grown ups. But then I’d like to see that everywhere.

Carbonara to die for — The cute Hen House dishes

In such a short space of time The Hen House, has become something I didn’t really expect. Its become ‘my’ place. By ‘my’ I don’t literally mean mine of course, but it’s a place for me, for people like me, parents, mummies with toddlers. I have lived in Haslemere three and a half years. I have never gone into Costa or any other cafe where I’ve bumped in to someone I’ve known and been asked to join them. Or conversely asked someone I know to join me. But that’s how it is at The Hen House. It’s a space for my ‘tribe’ and I had no idea how little we had this. No one tuts if your child screams (mine does, a lot, he’s ‘learning’ to share), no one pulls the sour lemon face when your child gets their food over themselves/the floor/the table/you. There is a level of understanding I have only ever experienced at toddler groups. Being a stay at home mum (bleugh – I really need to think of another name for what it is I am) can be quite isolating if you don’t push yourself out there, plan, look for things to do. Suddenly here is a place I can go on a whim and know I’ll be welcomed, at any time.

I’ve had great conversations I wouldn’t have done otherwise, gotten to know friends better, met other mothers, been inspired, all thanks to ‘just another soft play’. Because it really isn’t.

If you were to ask me what it actually is I like most about The Hen House it could be tricky to choose. The space, the great coffee, the warm welcome, the fun. But really it’s easy.

Its this

It wears him out. And that’s just dandy by me.

The Hen House

01/04/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Bit of backstory. Haslemere is a small town, which has expanded over the years to accommodate the growing number of families moving here. Its about an hour from London so still commutable, but far enough away to offer a more rural way of life (or faux rural as my husband likes to call it).

I’ve not lived in Haslemere that long. 3 years actually. But most of that time I have been pregnant or the mother of a small child. Either way I’ve found myself becoming immersed in the parent scene of this small town. I’ve not really had a choice. And I love it. I think I’ve mentioned before how amazing children can be as ice breakers, and how becoming part of this mummy community has been good for me. We share in a way I’ve never experienced before; clothes, advice, experience and information.

So when something new or newsworthy happens to affect our community, well as you can imagine, the jungle drums start to beat. And when I received a shared link on FB a few weeks ago telling me about a new soft play cafe opening in the town I was beside myself and was quick to share the information.

What I saw was this.

And this is what I said about it.

Soft play. Even the name can conjur up images of dirty, bleak industrial units decked out with ball pits and foam slides, all marinated in the smell of frying chips. I can’t prove it (of course) but I swear Oscar got the sickest he’s ever been after a session at one such soft play venue and after conversations with other parents I’m not alone in this concern. So OK I get that kids, particularly older children, don’t care what a place smells like or how dirty the equipment may be or how crap the coffee is. Sometimes they just want to hurl themselves around for a hour. And that’s grand. But I know my friends and I have all said at one time or another, wouldn’t it be nice to have somewhere, we could take the children, they could have a rare old time of it and we could have a relax, without coming away with the gifts of Rotavirus and Eau de Chipfat.

So when I received the link, telling me a new kind of soft play was coming to my local high street. Well. I’m hoping you can imagine just how excited, but cautious I was. Was this really something I was right to get my hopes up about? I shared it myself and started the discussion. Suddenly the buzz was off the computer screen and in the toddler groups and the parks and literally on the streets. The name was whispered in hushed tones, or shouted from the roof tops, eitherway, the local community seems as excited by the Hen House as I am. I had to know more than the sweet but basic holding page would tell me, so I contacted them.

Enter Henri.

Henrietta Paterson is a local mother of five (yup five children, three under the age of five). As she explained to me she has no background in this sort of thing (in her previous life she was a Venture Capitalist, living in the Far East). When she and her family moved back to the UK and unexpectedly had two more children, she decided not to go back to working in the city. However, as she explained, she wanted to do something. How it came about is as random as all good inspiration should be. On chatting to the staff at Applegarth she discovered that their previous plans to build a soft play had been shelved. “I offered to help them, but it just wasn’t something they were interested anymore” Henri told me “Once I started thinking about it though, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. I was sick of having to go all the way to Farnham for soft play. I mean what was there was OK, but I felt it could be so much better”.

And with that particular bee in her bonnet, The Hen House was born. Henri’s real bug bear with traditional soft play is that whilst it might be fun for the children, they really aren’t that much fun for the adults and on this point I have to agree. The vision for The Hen House is to provide somewhere the kids can have a wonderful time, and the parents can relax, knowing the children are in a safe and clean environment.

The idea of safety is really being addressed here. There are two levels of security gate, including an electronic one. All staff are DBS (CRB) checked and those who work with the children are all qualified in childcare in some way or another. The Hen House will also have a rule of washing and sanitizing hands on entry, something you don’t always see at these places.

It’s clear on talking with her that Henri is enthusiastic about the new place and it’s lovely to see someone so fired up about something that will benefit the local community. As she explained to me, when she encountered resistance from the council when applying to change the usage of the building, the local retail community rallied round her. They know that having a facility that encourages people into the town will be good for their businesses too! Add to that the plan to provide a bookable creche facility, leaving parents free to shop in peace for up to TWO hours? Well. How could the council ever refuse?!

Henri very kindly showed me round the building when we met. It’s bigger than it looks from the outside, and although it is still currently full of builders and building equipment, she was able to paint me a really clear picture of what is going to go where. There will be a toddler area for running around and a baby zone as well as the soft play equipment. There is also a separate room to be used for classes such as Toddler Cookery, Little French and the ubiquitous Molly Moo Cow. Henri sees the room as a real resource, as it will also be bookable, along with it’s disco floor for children’s parties.

The bit I liked the sound of best is the cafe. The food provided will all be locally sourced where possible, made fresh on site and be healthy and as tasty as possible. As Henri was at pains to tell me, none of it will be fried! Not only is this music to my ears from a gastronomic point of view, it also means you wont leave stinking of old chip fat. The plan is to provide something for everyone from Paninis to baby purees. And decent coffee! The craziest thing (or the best thing you might argue!), she that is currently in the process of being granted a liquor licence! She plans to sell wine, beer & fizz (no hard stuff), because as she said to me “sometimes you just need a little something” Quite!

So, yes I was as impressed with Henri as I was with the idea of the The Hen House. It was wonderful to meet someone with such drive to make something work. She was also incredibly open to discussion and suggestion, leaving me feeling confident about the ability of the Hen House to become a real community facility, one we can all enjoy and use to it’s full potential. She has asked that anyone with ideas or suggestions email her hen@thehen-house.com. Although please don’t ask about the parking. Yes you will have to pay to use the “Waitrose” carpark and no she wont be refunding parking.

Something else she was at pains to explain is that there isn’t a set opening day yet. They are currently waiting for variable things to happen (such as a the floor to dry and the equipment to arrive). But it’s likely to be May time and announcements will be made on Facebook or you can sign up for notifications on their website.

This isnt a review, it can’t be. I haven’t let my son loose on the equipment and been able to sit back and enjoy or had to run after him. Haven’t seen whether he likes it or finds it claustrophobic (like he does at the Herons). Haven’t left him with the creche and been able to enjoy a quiet lunch with my husband (Ben’s first reaction when he saw the webpage). Haven’t tasted the food and decided whether this is value for my hard earnt buck. I can’t tell you if it’s ever so ever so good yet.

But I can’t wait to find out.

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