Hello my lovelies – how are you?
I’m OK, I guess. Been better, been a whole lot worse. Had a bit of a shock at weigh in last night. But rather than upsetting me (well it did upset me, but more of that in a minute) it slapped me round the face. It was like Weight Loss Me grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me, saying “Hey! Buddy! Wake up. This is NOT OK. You know that right?” After last week’s ENORMOUS gain of 10.5lb I gained another 0.5lb. 11lb over two weeks (taking my weight loss back to 5 stone 12.5lb). And Weight Loss Me is right. This is not OK.
Last week I just laughed as I stepped off the scales. Yeah it was a huge gain, but it had been Christmas guys, come on! Pah! I thought. I’ll lose it all again in a couple of weeks, it’s probably mostly water. I was flippant and cavalier and I paid the price. A slap in the face of another gain (no matter how small). I didn’t make choices that would give me the results I wanted. Simply not making as bad a choices as I did over Christmas was not enough. I knew that deep down. Granted it resulted in 0.5lb gain and not 10.5lb gain but still!
So yeah I had a bit of a moment in group yesterday. I didn’t mean to, but then my consultant was nice to me and I burst into tears. I was just so angry with myself and sad and disappointed. It’s so hard to just draw a line and start again, when you know what’s come before. I can’t help but focus of the fact that this gain has taken me all the way back to the middle of July. 6 months hard work – poooof – gone like that. And how easily too. I mean, it’s frightening how quickly it all unravelled!
Right, wallowing over. I was talking to a friend last night and we came to the conclusion that this far along the journey motivation is harder to come by, partly because I’ve forgotten where I’m going and partly because I’ve come so far already. I never imagined I’d get so far, so imagining I’d go further, in reality, is proving much more difficult than I thought. Do I really want to go further? Yes I do. Why? Hmm not an easy question, I tells ya. Why do I want to lose at least another 2 stone if not a bit more? Do you know, I could say all the things you would expect me to say, to be healthier, to be fitter to be able to fit into a pair of size 12 jeans. And all these things are true. Honestly they are. But really, I want to do it, JUST TO SEE IF I CAN. Hahahaha does that make me bonkers? Probably. But I’ve spent some time looking at this and while all the positives that come from weight loss are absolutely true in my case, in my mind I just keep hearing this voice. Can you? Well can you? I think it’s time to stop asking and start telling. Yes. I. Can. Can’t I?
So OK, these targets need to be real and achievable. They also need to be far enough away to be realistic, but close enough that it’ll keep me focused. Make sense? That being the case I’m setting my first target as 12lb lost by 11th Feb. That’s in 5 weeks time and right in time for Valentines Day. It requires consistent losses every week of around 2.5lb. It’s a stretch and no mistake but I have absolutely done it before. Ultimately I would like to reach my target weight this year, and although I still don’t have this in mind yet it is something I will decide on this year.
So to make a fresh start and give myself a boost I have chosen to start off with Slimming World’s new Extra Easy SP plan. As I mentioned last week it’s a kind of ‘high volume low energy (Speed) paired with high Protein’ plan. It’s not meant to be how you live your life, but rather a week long boost if you hit a rough patch. And they don’t come rougher at the moment so I’m giving it a whirl. To be honest I couldn’t do it long term. It’s restrictive in what you can and can’t have and having followed Extra Easy for so long it’s taking a while to get my head round. However, I’m definitely giving it a go, to see what can be achieved. Breakfast took a bit of thinking about this morning, as I normally have banana and coffee (bananas are out!). Eventually settled on mushrooms and eggs on wholemeal toast (HEB). And it was delicious. Having never been much of a brekkie person, while I have to time to prepare things like this I really should! Lunch was tuna mayo with lettuce, spring onions, beetroot, red cabbage and tomatoes and dinner was a massive plate of chilli with tonnes of beans in. All good, but I don’t think I’ve eaten enough S and P foods during the day as I’m not feeling full enough. This one takes a bit more planning than perhaps I’m used to, so would recommend reading through the items you can have and getting plenty in before starting! I’ve ended up with a load of fruit, all classed as free but not Speed. Ho hum
We also had lots of new starters yesterday which was great to see. Loads of people wanting to take that first step to a healthier future. Plus it’s always lovely to meet new people. One of my best friends even took the plunge and joined a group down in Plymouth. I know how hard it was for her to take that step and I’m so, so proud of her. She’ll be covering her cupboards with certificates in no time. The only advice I’d give a new member, is not really advice more an observation. When you’ve been eating what you liked, when you liked, without moderation for a long time, it can take a couple of weeks to get your head in to the zone of making better choices. People tend to deny themselves things instead. Slimming World doesn’t work like that. If you want it, you can have it. Just count it. Unless it’s free then fill your boots. Seriously. I couldn’t have come this far if I had to deny myself anything (least of all smoked salmon droooool). And also, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If ever you’re not sure, the books, the website, your consultant or fellow members will have the answer and gladly share it with you.
So my goal for this week is not to cry when I get off the scales.
Have a great week people
Xxxx