weight gain

Slimming World Update – Week 36

26/03/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Afternoon (or morning depending on where you’re reading this. Come to think of it I probably shouldn’t start these with time specific greeting at all should I!)

Anyway Hello!

How’s your week been? Mine’s been a bit stressful, in a way only the parent of a toddler can understand i.e. not truly stressful in the grand scheme of things, but important enough to me to make things physically draining. And I know, at least once, this had lead me to ‘comfort’ eating. But do you know what I’ve realised? It’s not really comforting I’m doing. Let me explain.

Oscars had a pretty difficult week. He’s moving on in his development and suddenly everything’s a drama (blah blah I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about that!) Anyway, a while ago I had to take a step back at dinner time. I would cook, he would not eat, I would feel kicked in the guts and get cross/upset/out of control. It wasn’t good for either of us, but I had the presence of mind to realise (eventually) that food was pushing my buttons, not Oscar. So I had to take a more objective approach. I now give him what I give him and leave him too it. If he doesn’t eat it then that’s absolutely fine. But he wont get anything else. It works for us and has made dinner a much calmer time. Until one night last week. I made his tea of pan fried haddock, mashed potato and peas. All foods he’ll eat. He wolfed down the fish, but refused to touch the potato or peas. And I don’t know what happened, but I lost my temper, shouted, threw the plate in the sink. You know the kind of thing? Anyway once we’d both calmed down a bit I felt so guilty for losing my cool (after all he did eat the fish), I did something I rarely do which was to give him something else to eat – pitta and cheese spread. And before I knew where I was making my self one with butter and jam. My head was screaming that I must have it. I didn’t have the syns for it, but I ate it anyway. It was only afterwards that I realised I didn’t feel comforted, but in a weird way felt calmer. Oscar also ran into a table on Sunday, cutting his face and giving himself a black eye. Poor little guy. On the way home I felt so bad (I was nowhere near him so how could I prevent it?) that I wanted chocolate (I didn’t have any). And I wonder if this is a real thing? The best way I can abate guilt is to punish myself (by sabotaging my journey). I don’t expect an answer, but it’s interesting to turn things on their head and look at them from a different perspective now and then. It’s certainly given me lots to think about.

So anyway a stressy week has lead to some lack of honesty when it’s come to my syns, I know it has. But again, only a lack of honesty with myself. I wasn’t surprised when I weighed in last night and found I’d gained 0.5lb. Disappointed but not surprised. So total lost is now exactly 5 stone (70lb).

Anyway I’m chalking last week up to a learning experience and moving forward.

Despite this weeks small gain I did have lots of lovely comments from friends regarding how I’m looking. It’s not always noticeable week on week but occasionally it’ll all sort of catch up with itself and people will notice the difference. It’s wonderful when they do so thank you to anyone who’s mentioned it over the past week – it really does make a difference. I have also purchased a couple of t-shirts in a size I haven’t worn since I was 18. Two gorgeous spring coloured tees in a 16. Only problem is, its been too cold to wear them since I got them! Typical!

Also I wanted to share these. They are pictures I wasn’t planning on sharing, I took them more for personal documentation, particularly as I didn’t take any measurements at the start. They’re not terribly flattering (and as always my bedroom is a mess!) but the difference is slightly astounding to me.

The first one was taken on 7th October (so already three months in!), the second was taken on 14th January and the third last week.

And here’s the first and the most recent side together. It’s my legs I can’t get over. Oh and my shoulders weirdly.

I can’t wait to take another one around June!

So this coming week. I really want to lose what I have gained and despite now having a babysitter, meaning we can go out for a friends birthday on Saturday (yey – thank you Jane!) that’s what intend to do. That and another lb. So 1.5lb off for next week please. Thanks!

Have a great week

xxxx

Slimming World Update – Week 34

14/03/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hello! How nice to see you.

I would like to start with a massive thank you to everyone who read last weeks SW update and found it in their hearts to respond with such warmth and love. It was truly felt and I am so grateful for all of you. Thank you.

So, on to business. As you can tell, I attended group on Thursday rather than Tuesday – purely for reasons of logistics i.e. I couldn’t get there on Tuesday 😉 . Anyway, I’ve had a better week this week. I can’t tell you the difference a bit of sun makes! After last weeks slump I felt I needed a little inspiration and turned to the SW website – it’s a great resource for members, particularly for recipes. Now one of the things I love about SW, is that you can take most recipes, from most sources and make them healthier, and more in line with the SW principles. One of my favourite Chilli recipes still comes from an old Jamie Oliver book I have. And yes it’s free, without much tweaking at all. But sometimes it’s just nice to get some inspiration, without having to make any tweaks. And this week I found what could potentially become a new fave in the Savage house, Caribbean Pepperpot Stew. It’s basically a more jazzed up and fiery version of a beef stew and man was it good! This week we also tried Mexican Chicken (from the BBC Good Food website) which introduced me to the amazing and satisfying heat of Chipotle (pronounced Chip O Lay for those of you who’ve never been to Texas!) Paste. They were both so good, we’re having both of them again this week! Nom nom nom.

It’s definitely true that you can get bored, in eating as much as in life, if you keep on doing or having the same thing. And I think mixing it up a bit has been really good for me. It’s made me think about what I actually want to eat and helped me to discover new ingredients. Its added interest and a touch of excitement. And that can’t be a bad thing. It’s easy to fall back on staples and whilst I’m not suggesting anyone should bin their favourite recipes for a completely new repertoire, trying new things really can be a revelation.

And despite having a wedding reception to attend the past week (again decided to try something different and opted for White Wine Spritzer – a longer drink for less syns) I was delighted to find I’d lost 2lb at last nights weigh in. That’s the 1.5lb I gained last week, plus another 0.5lb. Score! That takes me to a total of 4 Stone 12.5lb (68.5lb). I’m so very very close to my 5 Stone award that that’s my goal for this week – to lose 1.5lb and get that certificate on my cupboard door! Having had a bit of a rearrange, I’ve got a space ready and everything!

Rearrange - only the most recent Slimmer of the Week — Rearrange – only the most recent Slimmer of the Week

Just crying out to be filled :) — Just crying out to be filled 🙂

Have a great week!

xxx

Slimming World Update – Week 33

05/03/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hiya

I’ve got a lot of things to say today, I just don’t know where to start. I guess I should start with a warning. I know (because people tell me – a lot) these posts about SW are almost exclusively positive, upbeat and full of joy. Today’s? Well it might not be quite so perky. Just saying.

So, I had a (what felt like, but I know it’s not really) massive gain of 1.5lb last night. I knew I’d had a bit of a sesh on Saturday and I wasn’t hopeful of any sort of loss, but seriously? 1.5lb gain? It really shocked me. So total lost now is 4 Stone 10.5lb. Taking me just that bit further away from my 5 Stone target.

And I’m a little downhearted if truth be told. And not just because I had a stupid little gain.

You see there’s this. You. My blog. So many people have told me how much my journey has inspired their own, or inspired them in another way. It’s incredibly humbling and I feel very honoured, but what if I’m not actually up to the task of being “an inspiration”? I’ve said all along I don’t want anyone to think my life, or weight loss journey, is easy or perfect cos its not. It’s really not. I struggle every day. Every. Day. With food choices, with ingrained behaviours, with self doubt, with knowing I’ve still got so very far to go. With finding that little something thats going to keep my head in the right space, keep me going forward. It’s fucking hard work. Sorry but it is.

And I’m scared. I’ve spoken before about weighing less now than I ever have in my adult life. And that is a fab achievement and feeling and all that, I absolutely agree. But you have to understand this is unchartered territory for me. I’ve never been here before (well I must have come through here at some point to get to where I was, but I swear I couldn’t tell you when) and I’m worried that actually I don’t know how to be here. To weigh so much less than I did. I actually had a visualisation of me running away from my old weight the other day. Like it’s an entity and I am actually being chased by it. It’s clear that something has not been put to rest. Does anyone know how I’m supposed to kill this thing dead? If it’s always chasing me will it ever matter how much I lose? Like I said, hard work.

So yeah, this is all going on in my head. The same head that’s also focusing on raising a son (he’s nearly two and still not talking – what am I doing wrong/what could I be doing to help) and trying to earn some money and writing and dealing with a possible stomach ulcer. It’s called life. Unfortunately you can’t just check out of “life”when you’ve got an issue to deal with. Be nice if you could 😉 . It all has to come along for the ride. Hence the cheeky sesh round at the neighbours on Saturday, hence a little gain.

I’m sorry for the downer today – although I did try and warn you. If you do come here looking for a positive read, then maybe this might help. After all I’ve just said, I did actually win an award last night. I won The Greatest Loser 2014 for my group. Slimming World run their year March to March and as such each group gives the member that has lost the most weight in that time a Greatest Loser award. When Zoe told me I’d won a few days ago I was stumped – I had no idea this was even a thing. But yep it really is and 4 stone 12lb (going on last weeks weight) is the most any member of my group had lost since last March. I got a certificate, a sticker for my book and a sash. Check me out:

It was a great recognition of all that very hard work I’ve just described and for that I am grateful. One swallow doesn’t make a summer or in this case one small gain doesn’t make a failure.

As a friend once told me; Lisa, it’ll be alright in the end. And if it’s not alright, then honey, it’s not the end.

And this is not the end!

Big loves

xxx

Slimming World Update – Week 30

12/02/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Hi there

As I guessed this week has been really hard for me. And when I say hard I don’t mean unpleasant just, well, hard.

We had my mum visit with us this weekend for her birthday, which resulted in cake and fizz and lunches out. It also resulted in a babysitter, allowing Ben and I to have a night out for an early Valentine’s celebration. I ate out three times in two days! And the wine, let’s not forget the wine 😉 .

I did try to make healthy choices where possible. Alright, excluding the cake and the chocolate tart and the wine! And yeah I had a nice time, but I have to admit it left me feeling sluggish and a bit grim. Monday, I went straight back to normal eating, with a gorgeous vegetable and lentil curry. I needed it after such indulgence.

And despite managing expectations and going for a more realistic maintain this week, I was a little bit disappointed (if not wholly surprised) to find out I’d gained 0.5lb last night. The 0.5lb I bemoaned losing last week! That’s weight loss karma if ever I saw it. I wont ever moan about a loss again, regardless of how tiny!

So my total loss is back to 4 Stone 5lb (61lb).

And I’m starting to get annoyed with myself. I’ve been dithering around this weight for what seems like ages. I just want to get my 4 1/2 Stone award. So this week I’m going to try a Success Express week. Usually SW recommend one third of your meal comprises of “SuperFree” foods (read fruit and veg). With Success Express it changes to two thirds. I’m looking forward to it for two reasons. 1) I feel like I need extra fruit and veg. I’ve been so tired since the weekend and I think this will set my system straight again and 2) it’s a small challenge. I think I’ve become a little complacent and this will make me think more closely about what I’m doing. Who knows I may even discover some new favourite recipes!

So this is my plan for the coming week and I intend to lose 2lb and reach my 4 1/2 stone award. Got that? Good!

So boot camp talk over – I wanted to share with you something that blew my mind this week. I follow the blog of a fellow SW member MidlifeMummy. A week ago I read this post in which she listed reasons her journey had stalled and asked for a “kick up the bottom”. I commented and didn’t really think much more of it. A few days later another post of hers popped up in my inbox. It was entirely dedicated to me! ME! I was stunned. Her next post then went on to explain what her AND her family had done with the motivation she’d gained. I was STUNNED! Honestly. It blew me away that such a small input from a stranger could impact on an entire family and beyond!

So – be careful what you say to people, they could be listening!!! 😉

Have a great week!

Slimming World Update Week 24

03/01/2014 by MrsSavageAngel Leave a Comment

Happy New Year!

So if you’ve read this post, you’ll know I had a fab Christmas and New Year and I hope you did too.

Last night I had my first weigh in for 2014. I’ve been attending a group in Liphook, but last year we found out that there was a group opening up, on 2nd Jan, in Haslemere. I could walk to it in 10 minutes. I wouldn’t have to rely on others for lifts and if Slimming World has taught me one thing, it’s to take control of your own journey. So last night I had my first weigh in at my new group. As my mum said later it probably wasnt the best week to change groups.

I gained 2.5lb in 10 days.

It doesn’t sound too much and I am relieved it wasn’t more, but it was my first significant gain in six months and I really needed the support of my group to talk it over, and last nights group didn’t give me that. It was primarily full of new members at the beginning of their journey, so the meeting only dealt with how SW works. We did no Image Therapy at all. I kicked myself later for not realising this would be the case.

So it’s made me think. Should I put the convenient location of one group over the usefulness and the supportiveness of another? I know the Haslemere group will bed in and become just as supportive as any other and it is only a 10 minute walk away, whereas Liphook is a good 15 minute drive (and I don’t drive!). But I missed my group last night.

Its left me with a quandary I didn’t expect and I one I will have to give serious consideration over the next week.

Which brings me to the strategy for the coming week. I am 100% back on form now and my first goal is to lose the weight I have gained. I would like to do this by next week’s weigh in. But where that will be I honestly can’t tell you at the moment and that’s bothering me.

Hmm decisions need to be made.

Anyway I got home and did a bit of my own image therapy. Ben and I discussed how important it was for me not to forget how far I had come, despite my gain this week. This photo is helping with that. The left hand picture was taken on the first day I could get my jeans back on – 13th Sept 2013. The right hand one was taken in the changing room at Fat Face on 31st December 2013. I didn’t buy the dress as it was still a bit tight on the bum, but I like the difference I can see in my shape. It also shows the difference a good bra can make!!! Oh and the dress on the right is 3 sizes smaller that the one on the left. Another goal is to conquer FatFace this year – I do like their stuff!

Have a great week xxx