Our little secret


I wanted to write a quick post about something that’s important in my life at the moment as I feel its likely to come up often in my writing soon.

I have recently started attending a Slimming World group.

I know its not a big deal for some, but for others its a mammoth task, both to start the journey and to admit they’re doing so. A couple of people know I’m doing this, and I don’t have a problem with people finding out, I’ve just not offered the information out there. I am rather want to compartmentalise my life (such as not mixing groups of friends etc), so maybe that’s why. Or maybe it’s fear. I do remember thinking when I started,”I wont put it on FB til I’ve lost Xlb etc, that way if I fail I’m the only one who knows about it”. Wheres the joy in that? Am I ashamed? Am I really that sure I’ll fail? And if so am I ready for this journey? I’ve been going for three weeks and already I’m starting to see a difference. I’ve lost 1/2 stone, (7lbs) which in the grand scheme of how much I really have to lose is such a small amount, but I’m choosing to look at it as a positive achievement either way.

I’ve been to “diet” groups before and did pretty well on them. However, I have since gained all the weight I lost (over time). Consequences have enabled me to be lazy, or even to believe my excuses. Funnily enough while I was pregnant with Oscar I actually lost weight in my first two trimesters – my body went in to healthy overdrive and craved fruit and lost any interest in refined sugar. I couldn’t even watch Bake Off that year as it made me feel sick! So it seems I can do it. My body knows what it needs, so it would appear my weight gain has largely been caused by my head. And I think when it comes down to it, most seriously overweight/obese people would agree with me.

Which brings me back to why I have chosen not to tell people this is what I’m doing. The reasons are cerebral, not logical. I don’t do it because my emotional mind tells me it’s protecting me. Well yeah and the same mind told me that after I had Oscar I could eat what I wanted, cos I’d just had a baby and I deserved it. That kind of thinking helped me put on 2 stone in the year AFTER I had my baby. Who the hell puts on weight after a pregnancy?!

So any way I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t keep spinning these excuses and happily believing them. I had to do something about it. I have read lots of interviews with slimming mothers and they all seem to say they’re doing in for their children, but do you know, I’m not doing this for Oscar, I am really doing this for myself. For one thing, my group meets on a Tuesday night. Its a opportunity for me to get out of the house without him. Does that sound terrible? Meh – so what if you think it does. I take my motivation where I can find it and this is one massive motivator for me at the moment.

So am I going to tell people? I’ve always found being accountable is one of the best ways of staying motivated, so maybe I should. I’ve told total strangers, but can’t tell my best friends. Whats that all about?!

We’ll see…..